After being suspicious of some possible lying, I checked her texts...

[Keke1]

It's completely unethical but people here seem to encourage it.

 

1. "I suspect something unethical"

2. "Now I am in my rights to act unethically in order to confirm or deny my suspicions."

 

So when these amateur spies find nothing incriminating, do they then apologize to their partners and fess up to their snooping? Or do they just never mention that they were invading their partner's privacy?

 

What if they find their partner has been cheating on them?

[Heer]

What if they find their partner has been cheating on them?

 

The end still doesn't justify the means.

 

 

I just know I would be livid if my bf did this too me. In fact I might get very angry if even my family did this.

[Keke1]

The end still doesn't justify the means.

 

 

I just know I would be livid if my bf did this too me. In fact I might get very angry if even my family did this.

 

Like I've said before if people weren't sneaky and dishonest in the 1st place none of this would be an issue in the relationship. I'm sure you and I know the lengths clowns go to just to hide things from their significant other. No one wants to be made a fool. One side being faithful while the other isn't.

 

I also said that if you feel you have to snoop and act on that feeling just leave. It's obvious you aren't feeling trust in the relationship. No one should be with another if they can't/don't trust that person. Point blank.

[jen1447]

This whole question has been just interesting enough to me that I finally looked it up on FindLaw (which applies to the US). Seems fairly conclusive that snoopers would be subject to civil liability.

 

Invasion of Privacy

 

Let's say you accidentally leave a personal letter containing private information on a public park bench, and that letter is picked up and read by someone else. Even if the sharing of this information damages your reputation or causes other harm, it is not a violation of your privacy. That requires a "reasonable expectation" of privacy, which would apply if the letter was not left out in public. But if you are having a private conversation in your home and a neighbor uses an electronic device to eavesdrop (and this causes some kind of injury), then your expectation of privacy has in fact been violated.

 

Therefore, an invasion of privacy occurs when there is an intrusion upon your reasonable expectation to be left alone. This article covers the four main types of invasion of privacy claims, a civil tort largely controlled by state laws.

 

The four main types of invasion of privacy claims are:

 

1. Intrusion of Solitude
   
2. Appropriation of Name or Likeness
   
3. Public Disclosure of Private Facts
   
4. False Light
   

 

1. Intrusion of Solitude (the only one that applies to this discussion.)

 

Intruding upon another's solitude or private affairs, physically or otherwise, is subject to liability if this intrusion would be considered highly offensive to a reasonable person. This type of invasion of privacy is commonly associated with "peeping Toms," someone illegally intercepting private phone calls, or snooping through someone's private records.

 

While taking photographs of someone in public would not count, using a long range camera to take photographs of someone inside his or her home would qualify. One or two unsolicited telephone calls may not constitute a privacy invasion, but incessant harassment by calling repeatedly after being asked to stop would. Unlike other forms of invasion of privacy, intrusion of solitude does not require any publication of private facts or images—the act of intrusion alone violates the law.

 

Example: A man with binoculars regularly climbs a tree in his yard and watches a woman across the street undress through her bathroom window. Her injury is the emotional distress she suffers upon seeing the perpetrator looking at her.

 

- See more at: Invasion of Privacy - FindLaw

[PaperCrane]

Sure, snooping is bad.

 

Cheating is worse.

 

Laws are made to protect people from harm.

 

What a world we live in when the law is reached for to move goalposts.

 

Wrongs were done. Privacy is important. Cheating causes life long scars due to someones fickle nature and inflicted because of immature games.

 

To the OP: Leave. Do both of you a favor. There is nothing there but toxicity and pain. You've done a very bad thing and the total insecurity, even if possibly justified, has led to this. There is no easy way to look at this because this isn't some storybook. You both f*cked up bad.

[aliveagain]

Matty posted 6 days ago and has yet to respond to any post. I think he is gone.

[PaperCrane]

Matty posted 6 days ago and has yet to respond to any post. I think he is gone.

 

Mmm, perhaps. I fell victim to the 'forgetting to check post dates' trap.

[smackie9]

Still gathering evidence............

[umirano]

Shady behavior should tell you to stop dating them, not snoop. They are shady for a reason duh.

 

Of course it does. I'm a loyal and tolerant guy. I need the ugly truth in my face in order to develop strong enough emotions to kick a two faced bitch to the curb. Especially if I'm madly in love. Shock therapy works wonders. Snooping is perfectly ok with a reasonable suspicion. Some cheaters are very good at hiding their true nature. I've never snooped unwarranted and if I don't suspect anything I don't even look at a partner's phone screen when they text next to me. I even encourage them to use encryption an safe passwords.

 

 

Also cheating in the dating phase isn't what concerns me. I dealt with cheating in the long-term, serious investment phase. It's perfectly reasonable to get solid evidence before pulling the plug on a long-term relationship. Duh.

[petertemplar]

I've never snooped unwarranted

 

That omniscience you possess would seem to obviate the need to snoop, no?

[Clarence_Boddicker]

Break the lease, move out, put her crap on the sidewalk, change the locks & disappear/go full NC, while she's at work. She'll be OK with her fb fan. Don't enable her one minute longer.

[smackie9]

Of course it does. I'm a loyal and tolerant guy. I need the ugly truth in my face in order to develop strong enough emotions to kick a two faced bitch to the curb. Especially if I'm madly in love. Shock therapy works wonders. Snooping is perfectly ok with a reasonable suspicion. Some cheaters are very good at hiding their true nature. I've never snooped unwarranted and if I don't suspect anything I don't even look at a partner's phone screen when they text next to me. I even encourage them to use encryption an safe passwords.

 

 

Also cheating in the dating phase isn't what concerns me. I dealt with cheating in the long-term, serious investment phase. It's perfectly reasonable to get solid evidence before pulling the plug on a long-term relationship. Duh.

I dumped people for less.....my time is precious not to be torturing myself to find out more about what I pretty much already know. If it doesn't feel right, it's time to get out. Hah.

[Spectre]

Dude cheating in ANY phase of a relationship should concern you. That is quite literally saying "betrayal and disrespect do not concern me". I've seen lions in the wild treat their prey with more respect then this woman has treated you with.