summerkisses Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 (edited) Hi everyone. I needed a place to help clear my mind. Me and my ex was in a relationShip for almost two years and we were good friends before that. So in the middle of April me and the ex broke up. He broke up with me because he was stress. Back in February sometbing happen to him with the law and everything have been just going downhill for him. He broke up with me because he wanted to be single and hang out with his friends. The break up to me came out of nowhere. To me everything was going fine. I was there for him through everything and did everytbing to the best of my ability to make the situation better for him, however at the end it still wasn't enough. The week we were having problems/the break up, I found out that he was taking drugs and hooking up with other girls. He told me he was doing that to forget his problem Just one week after the break up this happen. It really broke my heart. Someone I thought I knew can change so much within a week. Like every relationship, we had our ups and downs. There were times I know I was being pushy and that annoyed him but overall I felt like I was good for him. I went on nc for about three weeks now and just last night out of the blue I heard from a mutual friend that he was still messing the same girl after our break up and doing drugs and high off his mind. Hearing this made me have a set back. I was doing find for three weeks but this completelt broke me. when will this get better Edited June 14, 2015 by summerkisses
aloneinaz Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 Yes, as each day passes w/no contact w/him, it gets easier. I have to say, it sounds like you're MUCH better off w/out this person in your life. It sounds like he has MANY problems that you don't need to be a part of.
Sameold Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 NC and be glad you have a drug user out of your life.
Author summerkisses Posted June 14, 2015 Author Posted June 14, 2015 Yes, as each day passes w/no contact w/him, it gets easier. I have to say, it sounds like you're MUCH better off w/out this person in your life. It sounds like he has MANY problems that you don't need to be a part of. I know that's how I feel too. But for two years he was such an important part of my life. It's hard to let go. And it hurts so bad that he can easily just move on after one week and start hooking up with girls like I meant nothing to him. It just sucks how he can completely forget about me and this relationship. It's scary how fast someone can change. He said he wanted to be single and not have to worry about a relationship. I can't help but also worry how he's using drug to forget his problem. It's scary
Author summerkisses Posted June 14, 2015 Author Posted June 14, 2015 During the break up. He also tried to make it feel like It was my fault and I was the worst Gf. That really made me feel worthless and that everything I did for him wasn't good enought
na27 Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 It's scary how fast someone can change. He said he wanted to be single and not have to worry about a relationship. I can't help but also worry how he's using drug to forget his problem. It's scary My ex broke up with me a month ago for similar reasons. He has a problem too (pretty serious depression) and is getting drunk every single night to deal with it. I'm not sure if he's sleeping with other girls, but what he's doing sounds similar to what your ex is doing. I think you said it best: "It's scary how fast someone can change." I have said it myself these past few weeks. April 18th we spent the weekend together and he told me he wanted to marry me and that he would never, ever leave me. On April 25, just one week later, he sent me a text saying that he wasn't in love with me anymore. He said he still cared about me, but the feelings have changed and he didn't want to be together anymore. It took one week for him to go from being madly in love with me to feeling nothing. I completely understand what you are going through right now - it is a huge, huge shock. Today was the first day in a month that I have felt okay. I got waves of sadness and still cried but I felt hopeful. I finally decided that NC was healthiest for me, and I think realizing that gave me hope. It's going to be so, so, so hard but I think it's best for me and for you. Good luck. I know how hard it is for someone to change so quickly. I hope it begins to get easier for you. Try to keep up with your normal life - it can be difficult and make you feel even worse at times, but other times it can be just what you need.
aloneinaz Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 During the break up. He also tried to make it feel like It was my fault and I was the worst Gf. That really made me feel worthless and that everything I did for him wasn't good enought I wouldn't put much if any value into what a drug addict is telling you. This is even more relevant since he sounds like his drug use is now involving the police as well. This is where you need to view this rationally. Consider the source of those words and again, be grateful that you're not stuck dealing with all his BS. Yes, it's certainly going to hurt for a few weeks as your break your habit of him being around all the time. If you want to feel better the fastest, you need to avoid him and stay NC. Don't beat yourself up over what a drug user said to you. Most things people say at the end of a relationship is BS anyway.
irresolute Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 Tell your friend not to tell you about your ex. Your ex sounds stupid and toxic. Keep your no contact. You'll be better in a couple months.
mynailpolishchipped Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 You need to be single and take some time to focus on yourself. If you are working this hard to change someone, it may be because you don't think you deserve someone who doesn't need to be changed. That's what the real issue is here; it's not him, it's you. When YOU feel you are worthy, men who are worthy will be attracted to you, and that's what you deserve.
Author summerkisses Posted June 14, 2015 Author Posted June 14, 2015 Thanks. I was doing pretty well having not contact until this came up. The old me would've broken all contact and started texting him looking for answers. It's just scary to me how he was never into drugs. There were a couple times he did it when he goes out to raves but now he's constantly doing it to forget his problems. I know I'm better off without him in the long run and I just need to get to that place. I just need to keep tellig myself that it's his loss. He even admit that I was the best thing that happened to him but he just doesn't want to be in a relationship and wants to hang out with his friends. Apparently his friends all day he's happier now without me...
Author summerkisses Posted June 14, 2015 Author Posted June 14, 2015 Na27 Yeah it's tough. You feel like you know someone and they can just change in matter of days. But I guess this is life. Going on nc is hard and there's time that I hope going on nc might bring him back. But as days go by and having no contact, it slowly does get better. No matter how much you want to text him, just don't. It will only make you feel worst.
Author summerkisses Posted June 14, 2015 Author Posted June 14, 2015 It just hurts how he can so easily forget about me and relationship so quickly. I hope one day I'll get a sincere apology from him
DexterLS Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 It just hurts how he can so easily forget about me and relationship so quickly. I hope one day I'll get a sincere apology from him You probably won't, but that won't stop you from moving on, trust me. At one point, you will not even care about the apology. I am kind of expecting an apology from my LTR girlfriend who cheated and dumped me for someone else too but it is looking increasingly unlikely that it will ever happen.
Author summerkisses Posted June 14, 2015 Author Posted June 14, 2015 You probably won't, but that won't stop you from moving on, trust me. At one point, you will not even care about the apology. I am kind of expecting an apology from my LTR girlfriend who cheated and dumped me for someone else too but it is looking increasingly unlikely that it will ever happen. Yeah it's just shocking how someone can just up and leave once they something comes along. I know I shouldn't even expect an apology because I'm pretty sure he's too stupid to realize what he did right now. I just sucks how he can so easily forget about me like I never existed. I just hope one day he'll realize just how good I was to him and appreciate it
DexterLS Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 He is not going to realise any time soon and don't wait for it to happen either. Move on and live your life. If the apology does ever come, good and if it doesn't, hopefully, you will have already forgotten about it Stick with No Contact.
Author summerkisses Posted June 14, 2015 Author Posted June 14, 2015 Yeah it's almost been a month since I last contact him. Some days are better than others. I think I just had a set back yesterday. I really hope as time goes by it will get easier. It's the hardest in the morning when I wake up and face the fact that he's not there anymore.
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