Do you think it's mean for a guy to tell his girlfriend that his mom doesn't like her

[DragonGirl]

I already posted about it so i won't go into a lot of detail. Basically my boyfriend told me in a painfully blunt way that his mom doesn't like or care about me. I was already upset over the way she reacted to us and when we were alone his words were "Obviously this family doesn't give a f**k about you or like you at all." I never did anything wrong and have always been nice. Maybe even a little too nice. It just seems insensitive and mean to tell your partner that your parents don't like you. Especially that bluntly :'( I guess not telling them would be being dishonest but still... What do you think?

[LoveRefreshed]

He sounds like he was unaware of the situation and had and had the realization in the moment and just came out. **** what his family thinks, ask him how he feels about you and how he feels about his family's opinions.

[J21]

He definitely didn't deliver the notice with graciousness.

 

It says a lot about him actually. "My family doesn't give a f*ck or like you at all" is not an appropriate way for anyone to deliver the news to someone they seemingly care about.

 

If my mom didn't like my gf, I'd be super nice about it and reassure her I'm in her corner. Something like: "My mom isn't all that crazy about you, but I'll always take your side if you and her fight" or something of that sort.

 

How long have you guys been dating? And how old you are guys?

[johndoe2]

I already posted about it so i won't go into a lot of detail. Basically my boyfriend told me in a painfully blunt way that his mom doesn't like or care about me. I was already upset over the way she reacted to us and when we were alone his words were "Obviously this family doesn't give a f**k about you or like you at all." I never did anything wrong and have always been nice. Maybe even a little too nice. It just seems insensitive and mean to tell your partner that your parents don't like you. Especially that bluntly :'( I guess not telling them would be being dishonest but still... What do you think?

What was the context in which he said it? That is, from the way he said it, was he seemed a little angry or annoyed, but the question is, was he implicitly taking their side or yours? Because I can see it going either way. Was he saying it out of annoyance at you (suggesting you're doing something wrong to get on his family's bad side) or was he saying it out of annoyance at his family for not liking you ("obviously they don't give a **** about you, those mean bastards.")?

 

If the latter, then it's more understandable, and that in a moment of anger or annoyance he rather heatedly voiced his resentment about the fact that his family doesn't like you, meaning he's 'on your side' in this matter.

[darkmoon]

this about you wanting the mom to drive you?

 

perhaps she feels really angry that you see her as your chauffeur/nuisance, sorry, but you need to expect less to keep the peace, you have no choice

[preraph]

I imagine you already knew it, so not sure why he was so blunt. But I will say this. It's up to no one but him to see to it that his family treats you politely. If he doesn't stand up to them about it, then it's an even bigger problem. Also, please be aware that he may have griped to them about something and given them something negative to hold onto.

[toscaroscura]

You've posted three threads about pretty much the same issue and haven't responded to the advice you've already gotten.

 

Bottom line is, his mom isn't responsible for you to get to an interview. You need to get a handle on your emotions.

[carhill]

Do you think it's mean for a guy to tell his girlfriend that his mom doesn't like her

 

Complete lack of maturity on the man's part. A mature man knows how to handle his mother with a respectful, but firm, hand.

[DragonGirl]

I'm 22 and he's 23. We've been together for almost 4 years. The whole time i was under the impression that they all loved me

[DragonGirl]

Sorry lol. I was getting around to responding. Some of the advice was helpful and made me feel better. I plan on responding more soon

[DragonGirl]

Thanks...and yeah I guess you're right. The way she went about it just hurt my feelings because it sounded like she didn't care. At this point it's not about the interview anymore and now I'm more concerned with how how she feels about me. It hurts feeling left out and like she favors my bfs sisters bf over me. They do treat him better and maybe I didn't see it before..

[DragonGirl]

Yeah I know he was angry at them and not me. He was really angry on my behalf and sticking up for me and I was happy about that. But at the same time I felt so bad for being the reason for the huge fight with his mom. Even if she doesn't like me I don't want him to fight with her. I was really upset when he said he wasn't going to speak to her anymore :'(

[TunaCat]

It sounds like his poor mom is stressed out. No he shouldn't have said what he said to you, and you better demand an apology from him.

 

Oh, and you also need to stop relying on someone else to drive you places.

 

You should apologize to his mom for stressing her out and reassure her that you don't want to stress her out and that you are done asking her to drive you places.

[johndoe2]

Complete lack of maturity on the man's part. A mature man knows how to handle his mother with a respectful, but firm, hand.

You must be one of the lucky ones who hasn't had to deal with any mothers who simply cannot be 'handled.' Have seen a few real melodramatics in my thus far short life. Thankfully not my own mother though.

 

Personally, I don't think anyone is responsible for their mother's feelings. She's an adult, she's should deal with herself. If a guy's mother is giving him grief over his woman, he may as well state his position, and let her make her own choice: be a big girl and make amends, or see a lot less of her son from then on.