Dontster Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 I'll go into the backstory of what is currently going on. It all started back in January of 2015. Me and my gf, or I should say ex, were very happy with each other with being together. Her name is Ashley. Honestly, we barely knew each other and I've no clue as to why she liked me so much. But she always told me she found me adorable, and that I was always there for her whenever she needed to vent about her problems. But anyway, before dating her, I had a serious obsession with the girl (Angelina) I dated before her, and the girl I obsessed over was somebody who caused me so much emotional pain. Long story short about her, she cheated on me with her best friend for no reason at all. I was just devastated, and vented to Ashley about it, who easily helped me with my depression just by talking to me every day. Angelina and her have bad blood with each other, and most of Ashley's friends were all played by Angelina, me now being one of those many people. 2 months after breaking up with Angelina, me and Ashley kind of started to develop feelings for each other until we eventually became a couple. After a month of us dating, I felt like I was the happiest guy on Earth. But here's the thing, due to my obsession with Angelina (which was long gone when me and Ash started dating), Ash thought that whenever I talked to angelina I still had a thing for her when I didn't. To be honest, I felt that bashing on Angelina and talking her down for everything that she had done to me really wouldn't lead to anything bad. But it did. Angelina and I had talked to each other at one day, and she kind of started to tell me rumors about Ashley having feelings for HER ex, contacting him on Skype and being all flirty with the dude. Me being an idiot and all, I believed it. This is why Ash didn't want me talking to her, because she tried to manipulate our relationship. I asked Ash if something was going on between her and her ex, and she responded," Lol, I haven't really been on Skype that much, dear. You know I've been depressed lately. You seriously believe that scumbag and have more faith in her than me. Screw it, I'm done." I didn't want to lose her, so I begged and pleaded with her. Fortunately, she forgave me, and things went back to normal. Another month went by, and I once again made a mistake of disobeying Ashley by talking to Angelina again, but this time, it seemed to not be all that bad, but still pretty much was. Aside from this, I, for some strange reason, grew paranoid about Ashley. I'd always think she was having an affair with one of her friends, and this had only hurt her and made her upset at me. She decided it was best for us to go on a break and that I needed to give her space. I realized that I had screwed things up big time, but it was also really hard to give her space. I constantly sent her text messages for over the course of one month. I couldn't help it. I love Ashley with all of my heart and soul, and not making any contact with her was just killing me. And me being me, I made things even worse by telling people my personal business with her, and that made it seem like she was the bad guy in all of this. I was only trying to get some good advice on how to make things better, but my friends implanted ideas of her having affairs with other guys in my head. They were my friends, and I thought they would always tell me the truth about anything. I contacted Ashley about this when I was to leave her alone, and this just made things even worse. She grew even more mad at me for just telling people about me and her and was even more stressed out. ..I didn't know what the hell I was doing. It was like I didn't know how to just stop and leave her be. I just wanted to make things better between me and her. I stopped contacting her for like 4 days and she texted me saying, "I love you, hun." This was an indication that she was giving me another chance, but..guess what? Yep, that's right. I freaking screwed everything up again. There were times when she wouldn't talk to me at all, and she would claim to be really busy with school. This was one of those times. I spammed her because I was worried about her not talking to me. I couldn't help it. I am very insecure and overprotective about our connection. But spamming her made her break us apart again. She just decided to block my phone number and discard anything else of us making contact with each other. I was close to just losing it. I didn't know what to do, I put myself in this predicament, and it seemed like there really was no way of getting her back. Well, I got one of my closest friends to talk to her for me since I couldn't do it without her getting mad at me. He talked her into talking to me again, and I don't know how. He had magical powers, I swear. She promised him that she'd start talking to me again on the day that she had finished school, and she kept that promise. Me and her started talking and stuff, but she complained to my friend about me being distant. I didn't want to rush into things and mess anything else up, ya know? But, I assumed we were dating again since me and her had talked to each other for a good while in such a peaceful manner. The next day, she started ignoring me, and this went on for the next day and the day after that. So.. what's up? I spammed her with Skype messages yet again until I got her to talk to me, and she didn't seem like she was in the mood to talk to me at all. But before that, I had told a couple of guys that she was my girlfriend. Boy..do I wish I hadn't done that. Those guys all burst out laughing and were saying, "BRO, SHE'S CHEATING ON YOU." And I became worried instantly. One of those guys had said that she was asked out by one of her closest friends. Of course I asked Ashley if she was dating someone else, but she said she only had a crush on him. But she then also figured out that I told people that she was my gf, and she freaked out. I was confused and asked what was the matter. She told me that she had only started talking to me again just to give me one final chance for me to prove myself that me and her would be able to date again. But, she didn't tell me that on the day she swore to talk to me again. How was I supposed to know? But about her liking another guy? She told me she had a crush on him and that it really wasn't anything serious. I was just..hurt and angry and just felt like I would snap out at her, but I became overwhelmed with sadness that it felt like I literally was broken. She said to me, "You kept pushing me away. You liked Angelina." See that? She still thinks I have feelings for the other girl when I don't. I swear I don't. See, from her view, since I've hurt her a lot, she wants to get back together with me, but then there's the sudden trigger of that pain i caused being brought back to her which sends her to the point of just not wanting to deal with it. Ashley goes through a lot with her family and.. I just had to be an a** and put even more stress on her. Ugh. I talked to the guy that she seemingly liked, but he ran off and told her that I was talking to him and this got her really furious at me. She told me to stop talking to her people. She was so mad that she said she was going to cut contact between us again but didn't.. isn't that strange? I'm not sure. I got my friend to talk to her again, and she told him that she was asked out by another guy but she ignored him. I didn't know this. I stopped talking to her, and was hurting for the next few days that came. I was deeply depressed to the point where I couldn't do anything, not even go through with my college courses. I couldn't do anything without being so sad. I talked to one of Ash's closest friends (who is a girl), and she asked what happened between me and Ash. I was going to but she seemed to know ever single detail, so it saved me the trouble of going through that. She asked if I wanted her to fix things between me and Ash, and I quickly responsed with, "Yes.. Please." And whaddaya know, she then said that Ash was lying about liking someone else because she's afraid that I might hurt her again. But this kind of relieved me, like, I was not worrying all that much. 5 days had passed ever since Ash's friend said she'd talk to her for me. I was never told anything until I messaged the friend, she told me that Ash said I'm on her mind 24/7. But that's it. Nothing else was told to me.. just, Idk what to do. She says to leave her alone for a while but its hard because I love her so much. You might think this is me being obsessed, but I am entitled to my belief that it isn't. Trust me. But yeah, I know this is all my fault and its hard to not contact her..I don't even know if I have any more chances with her. I'm so deeply hurt. She is all I think about, and I would really appreciate any good advice on what to do.
ravfour4 Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 Wait, so Angelina cheated on you and made you miserable then sabotaged your next relationship? If Ashley is supposedly thinking about you all the time and wants space, give it to her. In the meantime, focus on how you can be the best person you can be. Start working out or gain a new hobby and start going to class again. Just force yourself to do it.
AIJ Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 This is a good example of why we completely remove an ex from the equation.
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