Would it be weird to contact a girl I dated a few months ago and asked to be friends?

[johndoe2]

Last year I went out with this girl for a few months, making it the closest thing to a relationship I've ever had. She broke it off several months ago for I guess what she perceived to be a lack of 'chemistry' or something. In retrospect, given my dearth of friends (particularly of the female variety), I think perhaps I should have asked if she wanted to just be friends then. She was nice and we got along alright. I think she, like me, did not have a very avid social life (I partly deduce this from how we met in the first place) and didn't have many friends outside of work. At the time though I was kind of saddened by her decision to end things so I just didn't bother.

 

How weird would it be to, after several months, just out of the blue, contact her and asked if she wanted to just be friends or something? Or should I just leave this as a passed opportunity?

[LoveMachine67]

Well it really depends on whether you are truly interested in being a "friend" or if your intention is to rekindle a romantic relationship with her.

 

Since she ended things with you once already, I'd say that if you still have romantic feelings for her, you are setting yourself up for additional

 

heartache by pursuing a friendship with her. Worst of all, this may prevent you from moving forward and meeting someone that actually feels the same way about you.

 

So unless you can really see her as a "friend" only, then I would not even bother asking her. Just move on and find someone that is into you.

[johndoe2]

I was not proposing this as a veiled attempt to rekindle a romantic relationship with her. My intentions are as a I stated them.

 

Would she likely assume that I was just trying to 'get her back?' I just feel like I need more friends and maybe she was a good candidate.

[TaraMaiden2]

Why not invite her to a movie, or some kind of event? And if she says "I'm not sure..." tell her that you get she doesn't want to date. You're fine with that. But *such-and-such* is happening, and you just wondered if she might like to go along... this is purely friendship. No strings attached, no conditions, no building up to something or pretence. Honest, just a *whatever the occasion is*.

 

'Think about it, let me know. I'm not bothered either way, I just thought you might like to go see..... *whatever*....'

[J21]

It would be weird af bro.

 

1) You'd look like like you couldn't get over her, and some how trying to find a way to crawl back into her life.

 

2) You look like have no friends and need her

 

I'd just move along man. Imagine hanging out with her and there's just that weird awkwardness between you too. Ugh cringe worthy.

 

Rejections happen, and you shouldn't take it personally. Sometimes two people are compatible, sometimes they're not.

 

Just the way it is sometimes, no need to look into it further.

 

Plenty of people out there, keep on trying.

[aloneinaz]

I could go either way here. Personally, my 1st choice would be to mine new friends or even better, find a new girl who wants a relationship. To revisit someone who said she didn't want to date you anymore and you haven't heard from since? IDK, I think you're risking getting blown off and your feeling hurt by her a 2nd time.

[Omei]

Weird, she dumped you with no suggestion of friendship at the time so leave her alone.

 

-woman

 

(p.s no lie a guy I dumped a year ago but didnt keep as a friend sent me a msg yesterday on fb saying "omg hi" and I deleted it why? Because had I wanted to be his friend I would have I did feel creeped out.)

Edited June 14, 2015 by Omei