xpaperxcutx Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 I guess the question says it all. At what point in your relationship did you find yourself fully realizing you love your SO? Did it take you as little as 3 months or less, or were there challenges that set you back until 6 or more months later to realize that you fully trully, love this person you are with? What changes in your relationship hat really allowed you to come to this realization? Who said "I love you" first, you or them?
Qboro90 Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 There is no "normal time" to fall in love with someone. If you are dating someone or know someone well and you have those feelings of love then it doesn't matter how long you should wait to say I love you. From my own experience I dated my current fiancé and was madly in love with her but didn't want to say it first in fear that I might come on too strong too fast. She ended up saying it to me 3 months into our relationship and things have been great. I caution people who want to say or say "I love you" to someone within a month or 2 months of dating. I feel like you need to get past that "honeymoon" stage of a relationship and settle in before you make it that serious. You should also know your SO well enough to gauge if they have the same feelings. If you are unsure and don't want to put yourself out there then wait, no big deal. Another cute trick you can do is while you're laying on the couch or bed together, spell the letters "I love you" out on his arm or leg. Then ask if he can figure it out. Odds are he won't but at the very least he will be intrigued. Key is not to tell him if he can't guess. Otherwise the excercise is useless. Each person is different so only you can know when it's right. 3
Emilia Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 I know within a couple of weeks if I'm going in that direction, reach point of no return within a month. IME for men it's faster than that. They usually say those words first, partly because I would wait longer to avoid pressure on the new relationship. It seems I pick trigger happy men.
Dallers Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 Careful not to mix up love with infatuation. They are easily confused especially during the honeymoon stage. I thought I was in love with someone before and when it suddenly ended I managed to get over them far too quickly! I was shocked....how could I when I was in love with them?... clearly I wasn't. There is a feeling then there is a certain type of feeling. I think I may have felt it once, and I know I realised it another time when I lost someone but it's more about waiting to find out what the feeling means rather than rushing into it too quickly. "I love you" are just three words, what is important is realising it rather than saying it before it is too late. 2
d0nnivain Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 It varied with the relationship & my age / frame of mind. When I was younger I was a huge commitment phob. The minute feelings entered into the picture I ran. Of my most serious relationships as an adult the time in which I was comfortable saying it changed. One was about 3-4 months. One was over 2 years but we'd been FWB basically before that. One was only a couple of days but we'd known each other for 20 years. With DH it was 3-4 months & it slipped out accidently; I was throwing the word around casually in a stressful situation but he repeated it back to me seriously.
Ellejay Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 I felt in love with boyfriend when I knew that I accepted him despite the flaws I saw in him. I knew his insecurities yet I didn't want to use it against but help him get over them. I fell in love with him knowing it was reciprocated. I think I fell in love with him at 3 months.
guest569 Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 It took 8 months for me to realise, but looking back, I think i was in love all along but denied my feelings. We never exchange "i love yous" he never loved me back.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted June 14, 2015 Author Posted June 14, 2015 So many varied responses. I remember when I was with my ex, I fell in love with him after a month and that love grew into an obsession. Of course, I was 22 at the time and still very immature. Nowadays, I know the difference between lust/infatuation and love. I am with someone I like, but I also realize I'm reserved about my feelings for him. Things are not stalled but I wouldn't say it's moving on either. He is more open about his feelings. Last night he texted me "good night love". Was that simply a word of endearment or something else entirely?
Qboro90 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 So many varied responses. I remember when I was with my ex, I fell in love with him after a month and that love grew into an obsession. Of course, I was 22 at the time and still very immature. Nowadays, I know the difference between lust/infatuation and love. I am with someone I like, but I also realize I'm reserved about my feelings for him. Things are not stalled but I wouldn't say it's moving on either. He is more open about his feelings. Last night he texted me "good night love". Was that simply a word of endearment or something else entirely? Don't read too much into his goodnight text to you. Even if it says the word "love" in it, that could just be him trying to be cute/flirtatious. Plus any guy who chooses to say "I love you" for the first time via text isn't a very mature person and you shouldn't take those feelins seriously if the case. Don't think too much or wonder the meaning of single words in texts, it'll drive you crazy.
candie13 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 words are easy. look at facts. I fall for a guy fast - first 2-3 months. Generally, the ILY is blurbed out then. If it's not said after month 3, there usually is a problem, as I'm quite expressive and outgoing.
Timshel Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 I think there is a difference between being in love and love. In love for me is a mix of lust, infatuation and love. The potential for deep lasting love is there but is 'cooking' or developing. This is the Greek Eros love. Deep lasting love would be Agape, unconditional and forever. Even if the relationship did end for some reason, the respect and warmth would remain. That person will always be a part of your heart and life. Eros is the easy, fun part of a relationship but Agape is the hope and goal.
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