GirlyGurl Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 I have been online dating for a while. Lots of dates but no connections until just recently. Went out with this guy and I was smitten and we were firing on all cylinders. but a couple of things weren't adding up. And I always trust my gut. Anyway, I did some digging and found out he is married. Don't people know EVERYTHING is on the Internet? He doesn't know I know and I want to have some fun with him. I am not going to tell his wife or anything like that because they have two young kids and it would just hurt her but that doesn't mean I can't play with him.....mess with his mind and when I am done let him know I know. Just a little harmless fun. Thoughts? Ideas on some fun things I can do to mess with him? 2
neowulf Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 Thoughts? Ideas on some fun things I can do to mess with him? Want some advice? Don't play games with people. You don't know this guy and you don't know what he's capable of. You already know he hasn't blinded at striking up an affair behind his wife's back. So clearly he's not huge on the empathy front. Why the need to "play games" with him anyway? You've caught him out. Great. How about you act like the responsible adult and just walk away? 13
joseb Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 How do you know for sure he is still happily married? Anyway, no playing these kind of games is not a good idea regardless. 2
Author GirlyGurl Posted June 13, 2015 Author Posted June 13, 2015 Ok...neo...I will be responsible and forgo my fun but it will be hard. Your point about what he is capable of is well taken. Jos, who cares whether he is happily or unhappily married. His profile says he is single. At dinner I asked him howlong he was divorced and he gave me this fake backstory. I do a little digging and find the family vacation on FB. He needs to stop this **** or he is going to really hurt someone. 2
aloneinaz Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 Why the need to "play games" with him anyway? You've caught him out. Great. How about you act like the responsible adult and just walk away?[/QUOTE] ^^^^ This is right on point.. 2
TunaCat Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 Why in the world would you want to mess with him? Stop being immature. He's married, that means he's off limits. Respect yourself by walking away from this guy with your head held high. 6
Clarence_Boddicker Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 Have a hot male friend play the role of your fake husband. Make a date with your MM date & have your "husband" accidentally run into you & say hi. FH: Hey GG what are you doing here? GG: This is my date I told you about. FH: Nice to meet you, treat her right. FH gives GG a peck & leaves. MM: Who was that? GG: Oh, that's my husband... 1
Popsicle Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 I have been online dating for a while. Lots of dates but no connections until just recently. Went out with this guy and I was smitten and we were firing on all cylinders. but a couple of things weren't adding up. And I always trust my gut. Anyway, I did some digging and found out he is married. Don't people know EVERYTHING is on the Internet? He doesn't know I know and I want to have some fun with him. I am not going to tell his wife or anything like that because they have two young kids and it would just hurt her but that doesn't mean I can't play with him.....mess with his mind and when I am done let him know I know. Just a little harmless fun. Thoughts? Ideas on some fun things I can do to mess with him? Yeah go for it, but have a plan of exactly how you're going to screw him over and then exit (nothing illegal though). He deserves it.
h0000 Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 you must have lots of time on hand to be wasted on this guy... i would rather invest such time on someone else, who can at least give me some hot sex.
jen1447 Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 Tell him you just got out of a relationship with his wife. 2
Art_Critic Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 He needs to stop this **** or he is going to really hurt someone. First off... he won't stop.. you think you are the only person he has or is dating on his wife.. nah... there are many more future OW in line for him. Stop messing with the guy.. man can be creeps online at times and this is one of those. It reminds me of a time many years ago when I was single I created a fake female account (I'm male) on match to look at the competition so I could tweak my profile to be different and what I got instead was tons of married guys hitting on me. I remember one guy who sent me a link (back then match allowed you to read the emails and not reply to them) and it was pictures of himself naked on a couch in a lakehouse with his hotrod car and boat, more naked pictures than I cared to look at.. I hit the link about 6 months later while cleaning up my bookmarks and it was his family's page showing him and his 3 kids with his wife in the same lakehouse and their life there and it wasn't a new life.. he was married or separated and cheating, what a chump.
Jessie1231 Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 I would let it go. You already know he's a liar. Once he finds out you know he is married, you have no idea what he's capable of to make sure you don't tell his wife. I had the same thing happen once. I went on one date with a guy and he seemed sketchy so I did some digging and found out he was married. I blocked his number and didn't even explain why. I'm not getting involved with his mess. If he wants to cheat he can find someone else. 1
Dallers Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 Walk. Away. Games are weak. Losing someone is the real punishment. 1
toscaroscura Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 Yeah, you're not going to be able to reform him or "make him see" his wrongdoing. Don't waste your energy! All you can control is YOU. Walking away and blocking his number is the only way to go. I would probably send a text like, "Nice try, married dude. Google is a thing" before blocking, though. 1
jen1447 Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 Yeah, you're not going to be able to reform him or "make him see" his wrongdoing. Don't waste your energy! All you can control is YOU. Walking away and blocking his number is the only way to go. I would probably send a text like, "Nice try, married dude. Google is a thing" before blocking, though. That would actually probably turn him on.
sandylee1 Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 You know what?.................I don't blame you for thinking that way . Maybe after you do this he'll think twice before he does it again . 1
kendahke Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 Ok...neo...I will be responsible and forgo my fun but it will be hard. Your point about what he is capable of is well taken. Jos, who cares whether he is happily or unhappily married. His profile says he is single. At dinner I asked him howlong he was divorced and he gave me this fake backstory. I do a little digging and find the family vacation on FB. He needs to stop this **** or he is going to really hurt someone. do he and his wife have an agreement to allow each other leeway to do whatever, but not break up the marriage? Some couples do that. Right now, you're trying to hatch a plan that could end up hurting you with absolutely no information going in. Would be a good idea, instead of trying to mess with his head, to just tell him that you don't deal with married men. That is if you choose to still deal with him. It's enough that you know and you leave him alone. If his information is that easy to find on FB, then whoever else he gets with will find the same thing, too.
sandylee1 Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 (edited) Why in the world would you want to mess with him? . Because he's messed with her . Sometimes, when you mess people around you should expect payback. OP - is looking for a single guy and it looks like he's a blatant liar . She could have gotten to really like him . You could anonymously send his dating profile to his wife. She deserves to know who she's married to. Although I say this , I recall years ago , finding out by BF had a GF. A friend told me to set him up and shame him at an upcoming party, but I just couldn't do it . He would have deserved it as well. Instead , I said a few choice words and told him never to contact me again . BTW - the person who said he and his wife might have an open arrangement, that's fine , but he should be honest with the OP. He should go on Ashley Maddison and say 'married and looking for an AP'. Then everyone knows where they stand. Edited June 13, 2015 by sandylee1 typo
Author GirlyGurl Posted June 13, 2015 Author Posted June 13, 2015 (edited) I am a naturally suspicious person given my professional background. I am not sure the average person would have picked up on this as quickly. He needs to stop before he hurts someone. He may have an arrangement with the wife, he may be separated, etc but a very specific question was asked and and was dishonest with the answer. And my research tells me I am correct. I don't want to hurt his wife...she did nothing here...I don't want to hurt his kids...I just want to put the fear of God into him so he won't do something like this to another person. Or at least think twice. This isn't about revenge. It is about scareing the crap out of him. I have nothing invested in this guy but a little time but I still feel guilty that I was a part of him sneaking around on his wife. Edited June 13, 2015 by GirlyGurl 1
ExpatInItaly Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 I am a naturally suspicious person given my professional background. I am not sure the average person would have picked up on this as quickly. He needs to stop before he hurts someone. He may have an arrangement with the wife, he may be separated, etc but a very specific question was asked and and was dishonest with the answer. And my research tells me I am correct. I don't want to hurt his wife...she did nothing here...I don't want to hurt his kids...I just want to put the fear of God into him so he won't do something like this to another person. Or at least think twice. This isn't about revenge. It is about scareing the crap out of him. I have nothing invested in this guy but a little time but I still feel guilty that I was a part of him sneaking around on his wife. Meh. it probably won't have the effect you want it to. Clearly he's not that bothered or concerned about hiding his status, or he wouldn't portray himself as single in the first place. This likely also isn't the first time he's done it, and maybe not the first time he's been caught out either.
lino Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 I vote you sleep with him. He's married so that's social proof right there
hashbrown Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 I have been online dating for a while. Lots of dates but no connections until just recently. Went out with this guy and I was smitten and we were firing on all cylinders. but a couple of things weren't adding up. And I always trust my gut. Anyway, I did some digging and found out he is married. Don't people know EVERYTHING is on the Internet? He doesn't know I know and I want to have some fun with him. I am not going to tell his wife or anything like that because they have two young kids and it would just hurt her but that doesn't mean I can't play with him.....mess with his mind and when I am done let him know I know. Just a little harmless fun. Thoughts? Ideas on some fun things I can do to mess with him? Maybe should have given some of the other guys more of a chance. Never mind. Girls want soaks within the first 30 seconds. What lino too. Social proof is a top priority for girls.
Lois_Griffin Posted June 14, 2015 Posted June 14, 2015 He needs to stop this **** or he is going to really hurt someone. A*ssholes like this CONTINUE to get away with the crap they pull on innocent women exactly for the reason you stated - "I'm not going to tell his wife because she'll be hurt." Of course she'll be hurt. She married a scumbag who preys on innocent women who are just looking to meet nice men on a dating site. Your silence will just continue to let the con man go on conning women. He conned you, lied to you, and played you. He's not deserving of respect. At all. I'd print out this dirt bag's profile on the dating site in full color - every single word and picture - and send it to his wife certified mail. That's how you stop these jerks. Not by keeping their secrets FOR them. 1
Recommended Posts