desertsessions Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 (edited) Hey guys, long story short. I dated this awesome girl. She broke up with me and we didn't talk for 3 years. At the start of 2013 she started talking to me again, and we talked all the way til summer 2014. I've always had feelings for this girl. We hungout once and she was pretty flirty, but i held off because i still had feelings for her even after 3 years and didn't want it to just be some silly fling. Second time hanging out, we went to a festival together and she ditched me the whole time, and hung out with some guy she met there... This absolutely crushed me inside... just the fact that she made excuses every time i asked to hangout at the festival. So after I asked twice and she made an excuse the second time, I was done. I didn't even go back with her in her car.. I found someone else to drive me back. She felt super bad about it and apologized and said she loves being friends, and wants to remain friends. I told her I wasn't interested in friends and i felt she kind of lead me on... I was nice about it all and said if she wasn't interested, I'm walking away. So i stopped talking to her completely. She started dating the guy she met at the festival about a month later... She sent some silly message months later saying "You're really not going to say anything to me anymore :(" to which i replied no. fast forward a few more months, i got some drunk message from her, which i got kind of angry about, but I remained nice about it. It ended with her saying I hope we can get past this. I said it's all good. After that I think she got the point I don't wanna talk to her, that last message was February of this year. Since then she's done weird things like talking to my best friend saying things like he should come hangout and meet her friends. (Him and her always got along when we were dating) I know this isn't a guy she'd be interested in because he's like 5'3 tall, and not her type at all... but she always liked him the best out of all my friends.. I only found out because he told me she talked to him randomly on facebook. This kind of bugged me, but i let it go. I found out she's going to the same festival this year and its a small one so I'll probably run into her. I personally feel like i hate her after what happened, but at the same time I know it's cause i still have feelings for her and was hurt about what happened, and how she acted. I'm really confused about what i even feel. All I know is, after what happened, I try to stay as far away as possible since I got burned when she came back into my life again. How do i act when I see her? I don't want to talk to her at all... but feel like she might come up with her "New" boyfriend and say hi. God, that would be so awkward for me... Edited June 13, 2015 by desertsessions
La.Primavera Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 She clearly has not respect for your wishes or your feelings and wants everything her own way. Don't bother responding to her messages in future and if you bump into her, say nothing and walk away. It doesn't matter what she wants. You have to put your feelings first. Do what is best for you. Remember you owe her nothing. She has done nothing but mess with your head to feed her own ego. She sounds like the type that enjoys drama and being the centre of attention. Don't let her interfere with your fun at the festival. Ignore her and have a great time! 3
Author desertsessions Posted June 13, 2015 Author Posted June 13, 2015 (edited) She clearly has not respect for your wishes or your feelings and wants everything her own way. Don't bother responding to her messages in future and if you bump into her, say nothing and walk away. It doesn't matter what she wants. You have to put your feelings first. Do what is best for you. Remember you owe her nothing. She has done nothing but mess with your head to feed her own ego. She sounds like the type that enjoys drama and being the centre of attention. Don't let her interfere with your fun at the festival. Ignore her and have a great time! Yeah I definitely won't go up to her and say anything. If anything, she might come up to me and just start talking to me... she's that type of person. Most people would probably say act civil for a minute, or two, then say I gotta go. I'm still pretty hurt by what she did though, and i don't even want to be put in this situation. I feel like If I act cold towards her that I'm being the loser. Edited June 13, 2015 by desertsessions
NomiMalone Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 I agree that being cold would seem loserly. Being civil for a few minutes then saying you gotta go sounds like the best plan. I agree with la primavera that your ex has zero regard for your feelings and wishes. If she ever texts you again, do not respond. You don't need people like that in your life. I really hope you enjoy the festival!
La.Primavera Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Yeah I definitely won't go up to her and say anything. If anything, she might come up to me and just start talking to me... she's that type of person. Most people would probably say act civil for a minute, or two, then say I gotta go. I'm still pretty hurt by what she did though, and i don't even want to be put in this situation. I feel like If I act cold towards her that I'm being the loser. From what you have described she sounds pretty narcissistic so she will likely take any civil interaction as encouragement. The result being you will never get rid of her. She will keep pushing you till she gets what she wants. Ignoring her does not make you a loser. It makes you smart by not allowing toxic people who hurt you in your life. In general manners are a good thing, but not in this case. Not by someone who continues to hurt you. As I said, it depends how much you want her out of your life. I’m just warning you that even talking to her politely for a minute might be a mistake. I have seen it so many times before. Good luck.
Author desertsessions Posted June 15, 2015 Author Posted June 15, 2015 From what you have described she sounds pretty narcissistic so she will likely take any civil interaction as encouragement. The result being you will never get rid of her. She will keep pushing you till she gets what she wants. Ignoring her does not make you a loser. It makes you smart by not allowing toxic people who hurt you in your life. In general manners are a good thing, but not in this case. Not by someone who continues to hurt you. As I said, it depends how much you want her out of your life. I’m just warning you that even talking to her politely for a minute might be a mistake. I have seen it so many times before. Good luck. Well that's the thing, I really started to like her again.. I didn't want her out of my life. She had been asking to hangout with me, that's why i felt kind of lead on after what happened at the festival last year. I was completely open with her that I liked her again, but she was leaning towards that guy she met at the festival so I opted out and made sure to be quite blunt about not friends. I know for a fact she feels really bad, and i genuinely believe her. I'm sure she misses talking to me somewhat, and I miss talking to her in all honesty because it was really nice during the time we reconnected. It was better than it ever was before while we were dating. I guess that's why she wanted to remain friends. But I know what I want, and I'm not the type to settle for a friend card if i want someone. I just hope I've given off enough of a point by not contacting her once since the festival last year that she'll keep to herself if she see's me. I guess you could say it's a hate/love relation with this person haha. Kind of a weird situation to be in.
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