missk803 Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 Not really looking for advice, just feel like venting to someone who will listen. I met this guy a while back from an video chat app and we immediately seemed to hit it off. It was to the point where we were texting every single day, pretty much all day while both of us were working after getting off. We had so much in common and wanted the same things as far as a relationship. While getting to know each other, he did tell me he had a ten yr old daughter and I was totally fine with that despite the fact that I don't have any kids of my own and have never seriously dated anyone with kids. Things were going so well that he suggested we meet and I was absolutely all for it (that never happens). Well, we finally went on our date and during our talk, I happened to ask where his daughter lived and he told me she lived here but then he quickly adds that his son lived in another state. I stopped him and said "You have a son? You never told me that." He said he thought he did and explained that yes he does have a son also and then slowly added that the son and daughter have different mothers. I was immediately disappointed there but then to make matters worse, I made the mistake of asking how old his son was and his response was "5 months old". It felt like someone stabbed me in the heart with a dagger and twisted it. After I had time to process it all, I let him know that I didn't really feel comfortable getting involved in that type of situation and there were too many questions. He doesn't seem to understand why it's a big deal for me or just doesn't want to understand. Now, I'm starting to think I should keep my options open and just continue to meet other people or just put dating on hold all together. I do still think he's a nice guy and am not against us just being friends but I highly doubt he'd be willing to consider that on the account that he made it very clear that he was interested in pursing a serious relationship with me. Why does this have to happen to me? Why couldn't he have just made it clear that he had the son when we first spoke??? So frustrating..
preraph Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 Yeah, the fact that he doesn't understand why it's a big deal says it all. He doesn't take his fatherhood very seriously, and that means he's irresponsible. 1
lovexocoach Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 Huge red flag here. This guy sounds like bad news. Guess what he's looking for - and it's not a long term relationship. NEXT!
Popsicle Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 Not really looking for advice, just feel like venting to someone who will listen. I met this guy a while back from an video chat app and we immediately seemed to hit it off. It was to the point where we were texting every single day, pretty much all day while both of us were working after getting off. We had so much in common and wanted the same things as far as a relationship. While getting to know each other, he did tell me he had a ten yr old daughter and I was totally fine with that despite the fact that I don't have any kids of my own and have never seriously dated anyone with kids. Things were going so well that he suggested we meet and I was absolutely all for it (that never happens). Well, we finally went on our date and during our talk, I happened to ask where his daughter lived and he told me she lived here but then he quickly adds that his son lived in another state. I stopped him and said "You have a son? You never told me that." He said he thought he did and explained that yes he does have a son also and then slowly added that the son and daughter have different mothers. I was immediately disappointed there but then to make matters worse, I made the mistake of asking how old his son was and his response was "5 months old". It felt like someone stabbed me in the heart with a dagger and twisted it. After I had time to process it all, I let him know that I didn't really feel comfortable getting involved in that type of situation and there were too many questions. He doesn't seem to understand why it's a big deal for me or just doesn't want to understand. Now, I'm starting to think I should keep my options open and just continue to meet other people or just put dating on hold all together. I do still think he's a nice guy and am not against us just being friends but I highly doubt he'd be willing to consider that on the account that he made it very clear that he was interested in pursing a serious relationship with me. Why does this have to happen to me? Why couldn't he have just made it clear that he had the son when we first spoke??? So frustrating.. Keep your options open and start dating other men. Do NOT put dating on old (especially if you continue to talk with this guy as a "friend" -sounds like you are). I recommend stopping all contact with him to make things clean and simple for you both.
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