pjm123 Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 I dont cfeel comfortable adding her or giving her mine wr just met last night i like her but dont want to reveal too much advise?
TheFinalWord Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 Best option is to delete FB. Next best is to tell her just what you said to us, that you do not like to add people unless you get to know them first.
joseb Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 Best option is to delete FB. Next best is to tell her just what you said to us, that you do not like to add people unless you get to know them first. Yeah FB is a scourge, but I find myself needing to keep it to stay in touch with multiple family and friends overseas. An option is to make a FB group (of your friends) and call it, say, 'just met' or 'acquaintances' and then set up your prefs so that people in this group only see limited info. Alternatively, put most people in a 'close friends' group and let only them see all, and hide most stuff from everyone else. Or a bit of both. 1
Jame22 Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 I dont cfeel comfortable adding her or giving her mine wr just met last night i like her but dont want to reveal too much advise? I'm not a big fan of adding dates on facebook. But if that's what she wants I'd go along with it. I think it's always better to accept someone's friend request than to ignore them or give a lame excuse.
Jame22 Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 Next best is to tell her just what you said to us, that you do not like to add people unless you get to know them first. I don't really agree with this. It's kind of like a slap in the face and she'll feel guilty for even asking. You should never reach out to a potential partner on facebook too soon but if someone is reaching out to you..just accept it, don't make a big deal about it and move on.
stillafool Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 I dont cfeel comfortable adding her or giving her mine wr just met last night i like her but dont want to reveal too much advise? Then don't! You don't have to check out her FB either.
TheFinalWord Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 I don't really agree with this. It's kind of like a slap in the face. You should never reach out to a potential partner on facebook too soon but if someone is reaching out to you..just accept it, don't make a big deal about it and move on. I do not think you have to feel obligated to add someone out of guilt. I would not add someone I just met. I also would not spend a bunch of time customizing the way they view my profile. Why create all that work for yourself? Just tell them, can we talk about adding after a few dates? That doesn't seem that offensive to me. If they get hurt that easily, I would see that as a better filter than FB.
Art_Critic Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 Don't let people you haven't known you very long on your FB, it will save having to remove them if it goes south in a couple of weeks.. You need to tell her that you haven't known her long enough to add her to FB and if you don't want to do that you add her and restrict her, don't give her access to your friends list for sure. You could also just not say anything and don;t add her till she pushes it She wants to check you out... she can do that without you adding her to FB... A couple of or a few weeks go by then add her. Remember that FB is yours and your privacy is yours to control, would you let someone you just met rummage thru your file drawers at home in your desk ?.. No... 1
Jame22 Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 I dont cfeel comfortable adding her or giving her mine wr just met last night i like her but dont want to reveal too much advise? Why don't you feel comfortable? It's not a marriage proposal, it's a click of a button. Tell her that she can send you a request if she wants 1
Jame22 Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 (edited) Don't let people you haven't known you very long on your FB, it will save having to remove them if it goes south in a couple of weeks.. What's the point of removing them? I have a couple girls on there that sent me requests after a first date. I never delete them, there's no point in burning bridges for no reason. If you're posting things on Facebook that you don't want acquaintances to see you shouldn't be on facebook in the first place. Accept her, attempt to date her, if it doesn't work out move on with your life and most importantly don't worry about it. Edited June 13, 2015 by Jame22
Art_Critic Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 What's the point of removing them? I'll answer that with a question.. what's the point of giving up your private life to people you don't know, you don't communicate with and have no intention of talking to again.. burning bridges.. lol.. it's FB... By the way... employers today use FB as a way of looking into who they are hiring and who they are hiring hangs out with.. the more people that someone doesn't know posting who knows what can be traced many times to their friends list and can adversely affect you.. You are tied to your friends list.. and having your security settings tight doesn't mean your friends do.. Think I'm wrong.. I'm older.. I get it.. Only friend your friends and if you want to network for work use linkedin.
Jame22 Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 (edited) I'll answer that with a question.. what's the point of giving up your private life to people you don't know, you don't communicate with and have no intention of talking to again.. burning bridges.. lol.. it's FB... By the way... employers today use FB as a way of looking into who they are hiring and who they are hiring hangs out with.. the more people that someone doesn't know posting who knows what can be traced many times to their friends list and can adversely affect you.. You are tied to your friends list.. and having your security settings tight doesn't mean your friends do.. Think I'm wrong.. I'm older.. I get it.. Only friend your friends and if you want to network for work use linkedin. Private life? You only give up as much information as you put out. That's on you, not facebook. I'm sure hiring managers like to see friendly, well adjusted people with plenty of social connections. And If you're hanging out with the wrong people it's going to come back to hurt you in real life eventually anyway..why does it even matter? I'd much rather hire someone with 800 facebook friends than 20. And lastly, not everyone (probably no one) is out to get you. So a person you talked to once in HS now knows that you took a vacation last week and that your friend's name is "John Murphy." Who cares? Just be a nice person and accept the damn request. Any attempt to dodge a facebook request is just going to come across as cold and over dramatic. Edited June 13, 2015 by Jame22
Jame22 Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 have no intention of talking to again.. burning bridges.. lol.. it's FB... I'm from the Midwest, currently in Texas and moving to LA this summer. I have an old football friend from HS that's out there. I moved away a few years ago and I and figured i'd never see anyone from my hometown again. You could count that as "no intention of talking to again." I would of never have known he was out there if it wasn't for facebook. You never know, things change. There's no point in deleting anyone you're on good terms with.
loverboy69 Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 Ahh the Facebook thing? This is a touchy subject only those of us involved in social media would ever understand. I had an issue one time where I was dating a guy and he sent me a Friend Request immediately after our first date. The thing is that I only share my photos and friends list with my Family so when I accepted his Friend request he became really hurt and questioned why I didn't want him seeing my photos and friends list? He put me on the spot on our 2nd date when he sidelined me with that question and it made for an awkward evening. Needless to say I never got to the 3rd date and frankly I was fine was that. If we were dating steadily then yeah I would have shared everything but we had just met.
Clarence_Boddicker Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 I thought real players have at least 2 fb accounts, their real one & "safe" ones for work, family, dating, etc
TheBathWater Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 I dont cfeel comfortable adding her or giving her mine wr just met last night i like her but dont want to reveal too much advise? I feel you. I once had a friend who I though had a good way of responding to these sort of requests. He would say, "friending each other on facebook is like introducing each other to our families. Would you introduce a guy you were interested in to your family so early before you were seriously involved?". I have never had this issue since I'm not much of a facebook guy, but I think he has a point.
TunaCat Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 I don't add people I'm dating to my FB until I am in a committed monogamous relationship with them. You just met the woman. Tell her that you aren't comfortable with that considering the fact you two just met.
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