meanie_monday Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 (edited) Alright, so my boyfriend and I have been very busy lately working two jobs that it's cut into our time spent together. We talked and agreed to both cut down on work to make time for one another because I expressed my concern and need to see him more often. Compromise. But then he later tells me that he can't quit his job because he needs the money. I want to be understanding of his financial situation, but it's very difficult. He says that we can still make time to see each other, yet it will literally be a month that I haven't seen him. Our relationship means a lot to me because we've been best friends since we were 13 and now we're in our early twenties with 9 mo of dating. I love him very much and don't want to give up on our relationship. A wise and older friend of mine said that at this age, we will run into a lot things that may make it difficult to be together but willing to get through it will make our relationship stronger in the end as we get older. I want to think that this is true, but I'm unsure of what else to do to meet my emotional needs. I've been the only one willing to offer solutions because he vented that he honestly has no idea what to do. However, everything has been shot down outside of cutting down on work. I suggested sleep overs amd moving in together and he shot them down. He doesn't want to move in because he believes in marriage first. And he just avoids the sleepover question. The only thing I've had some luck in is matching our schedules, but even then he says he has to bring work home often or has family obligations. I feel like I've been nagging, but I just want a solution to this! Also I want to add that he says he doesn't want to break up and that he's not intentionally avoiding me, but finding time is really hard Edited June 12, 2015 by meanie_monday
blackcat777 Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 My boyfriend and I have crazy schedules. This summer I'm in school, in addition to working full-time. He's working overtime, six days a week, with a 1.5 hour commute one way (until he moves at the end of this month). We were accustomed to spending a lot of time together before these circumstances. We both blacked out Monday on our schedules to be together. It's seriously a huge priority to keep one day a sacred day for each other. We both really value our relationship. Only one day a week also REALLY SUCKS. Last weekend I had a total meltdown from being so busy and I cried in his arms about it. This was the first time in our relationship we were literally both too tired to have sex at points. We can't go out dancing all the time like we used to. We haven't done partner yoga or yoga classes for months... which we both loved to do. Some nights it's just passing out in each other's arms and that's it. But we know it's temporary. We're both super happy to have each other through crazy times in our lives. We've gone through so much, we know we'll go through more, things are always changing... we're each other's constants in the ever-changing tides of craziness around us. I do get scared of falling into a rut, just because I've been in relationships that became complacent in the past. I was lucky enough to switch some hours at work this week to make space for a dinner/dancing date (WOOHOO!). A big key to this working, I feel like, is BOTH of us willing to make that block of time for each other. We're equally committed. Is it possible to carve out a little blip of sacred time WITH your boyfriend that work can't touch?
mandymor Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 My husband and I had the same problem when we were dating. We literally had to schedule time to see each other. But the time we did spend together when we had the chance was super special and we made the most of it. We're married now and we still both lead busy lives, but at least we're under the same roof. But there are times where we're just too tired to mess around and we just sleep. Hang in there kids it totally worth it once you make it out the other end. Just keep trying to set some time up to spend together.
Recommended Posts