lostgirl179 Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 Hey, Please help me! I have worked at a job that I loved and fought so hard for for over 6 years. A year ago I started dating a colleague who I was friends with before, but he had a girlfriend (she also worked there) a year after she dumped him he started going out with me (he persued me to begin with, I didn't want to go out with him as I didn't want to be a rebound, so he dated another girl for a few months. When they split, he tried again with me and we became an item.) We went on holidays together, did loads of fun things together and were very happy. All the while, I would see his ex at work she would stomp around give me dirty looks and generally try and intimidate me. She would text him at times when she new we were together and remained in contact with his family. At the work Christmas party last year I went into a toilet cubicle. I heard her walk in with one of her friends and her friend said to her "you look nice" the ex then said "better then (my name) have you seen the state of her?" I walked out of the cubicle, said nothing and then she left. To cut a long story short, at the end of the night she punched me in the face. I hit out to defend myself and accidentally cut her face, it was a small cut that DID NOT scar (there was a glass in my hand, I know how it looks but I didn't mean to do it) she then tried to push me over a balcony with a 30ft drop to the floor below. When the witnesses came along all they saw was her, with a cut on her face trying to push me over a balcony. We were both suspended from work pending an investigation. When we received the witness statements no one had seen her hit me, or how her face was cut. So she then pressed charges. I didn't press charges, because I thought it would upset my employer. I was sacked from my job (because of the police charges) and she was kept on a final written warning despite the fact I have been sacked, she is still taking me to court. My boyfriend lives at my old work and I was told I was not allowed to go to his house. He has to work duty nights, two weekends a month and he does not have a car. He helped me get another job which I really struggled to do because I was so depressed at the injustice I suffered. I wasn't ready to go back to work but I went for him and my parents. We tried so hard to make it work, we would speak on the phone everyday he would come to my house (I live with my parents) we would go to parks and museums, I became close with his mum (she wrote to his ex, asked her to drop the charges. The ex wrote back and said I deserved to get sacked and now the court will decide what happens to me.) On Sunday he met me from work, we went for dinner as we walked back to my car, he told me he didn't want to be with me anymore. He said he still wants to be close and support me but doesn't want the relationship. He said he tried so hard to make it work. He got quite horrible. He said he thought I didn't want to be with him and that I just didn't want to be on my own. We have been through so much together and he has become my best friend. I don't want to lose him, but I'm worried too much has happened. I love him and I want him with me. He is really indecisive about what he wants to do with his life. One minute he wants to live and work in Vietnam, the next he wants to work near his parents. He wants to leave were he is now, but then sometimes he says he doesn't. Has he ended it because he doesn't love me anymore, or because of the trauma we have been through because of his ex? Or is it just that he has no idea what he wants to do with his life? I'm in such a mess....please help!
ZiggyZoo Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 It doesn't really sound to me that what happened with you and his ex had anything to do with breaking you two up. It sounds like he just doesn't want to be with you anymore. Yes, it could be related to his overall not knowing exactly what he wants to do with his life, but it sounds like he's pretty certain about this at least. Unless there's more to what happened with you and his ex (that's a long story to cut short, from dirty looks to her punching you) that's my take on it.
Trishern Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 If I were you. I'd concentrate on the court case to avoid getting a criminal record. Get a good lawyer for your defence, that would be my biggest worry right now. I think too much drama has been caused by his Ex. It's a shame, but jealousy really got the better of her. Much as I love being a woman, they can be ever so bitchy. She clearly wanted to split you guys up. There's nothing you can do, just be you and look after yourself. Mrs. Trishern
JewelD Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 Never date anyone you work with, I'm telling you, it's always going to be messy and you don't want to mess up your money for some guy. There's definitely more to this story than you're letting on. It takes two to tango, you had the guy, no need to engage with her in any way. Although it's possible he may have been giving her reason to text him. If he wanted, he could have blocked her number or made it clear to her that he didn't want to communicate with her. Either way, she's not the cause of the breakup, he is. If you're with a guy, it's his job to keep his ex's in line and let them know he's taken and that they have no business harassing him or you. He did not do that. He may have even gotten a thrill out of two women fighting over him. You lost your job essentially because of him. I'd just let it go. The reasons why aren't nearly as important as they seem to be right now.
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