I'm new in a tough job and constantly paranoid

[HansonGirl]

I am in this job that is HARD. The boss is tough. The hours are way more than people supervised by other bosses. And I'm told our workload is particularly backed up.

But I feel like I'm drowning. And I'm so scared about them rethinking their hiring decision. However my position is a term. It'll end a year from now anyways. So part of me feels ok. My boss has told me she knows how hard I am trying but I am not sure that's good or bad. Maybe she takes it as a sign I am hopeless. And whenever my coworkers whisper I'm scared they are talking about how much they hate me. I feel like I have no one to talk to about this.

Today I saw a welcome letter for the new person who will be replacing the other guy whose term is up in a couple months. I noticed I'm not mentioned on the letter where it says the others in our office will answer any questions for him. But then again I haven't met him at all whereas the others have. They interviewed him and chatted with him before I even started. So could that be why? Every time I think about this I get nauseous.

What can I do??? I'm not good at office politics stuff. I just want to make sure I keep this job til the end of my term. I need your advice and Help!!!! I also want to do a GOOD job not the bare minimum. Is it good that my boss knows i am working hard ? I am so filled with anxiety that sometimes I can't concentrate.

 

Also how can I stop worrying about my coworkers talking bad about me? or SHOULD I be worried?

[HansonGirl]

Oh btw. She rarely gives positive feedback. All I am hearing is what I'm doing wrong.

[kenmore]

Hey HansonGirl, that sounds like Hell. It's difficult to give you advice not knowing what industry you are in but generally speaking I'd say they hired you and others like the other guy you mention because they want someone to take on the BS and not have any obligation to keep you on.

 

What i'm saying is it's a test. They want to test people and they found out that regular testing didn't give them the answers they needed. What that most likely means is that your job is very out of the ordinary and there are no solid criterion to judge whether or not you know your stuff.

 

What that most likely means is they are throwing things at you that are out of the norm to see how you handle them. If your boss told you she thinks you are working hard, that means just that. She is watching you. That's good if you are keeping your mind on your work and not good if you're not.

 

I suspect that if you keep working hard and keep concentrating on your job and don't allow yourself to be mentally screwed with by worrying about what your co-workers think, you'll be just fine. you may even be hired permanently. Off the top of my head, I think what your boss said was positive so take it as such.

 

So much of this is a mind game. I am in a mind game job now too. Our best bet is to not let our minds get the best of us and to just keep our heads where they should be, and that's in our work. I wish you the best!!!

 

Ken

[loveweary11]

Just keep doing what you're doing. Try not to worry too much about if people are judging you.

 

However, there is one secret to winning at the office, I found in my days as an employee.

 

Carefully and tactfully sell yourself to everyone around you.

 

To your bosses, to fellow employees, to the gossiping receptionist. To everyone.

 

Make sure everyone knows the effort you put in and the big challenges/problems you are solving. Your successes.

 

Be a self promoter.

 

This is what got me VERY far along back in my days as an employee. I was always that superstar in the office not everyone likes because I made them look bad in comparison.

 

But, when the CEO calls you up on stage at like 25 years old to include you in his company wide address, praising your work, you know you have won everyone over with self promotion.

[Fugu]

I am in this job that is HARD. The boss is tough. The hours are way more than people supervised by other bosses. And I'm told our workload is particularly backed up.

 

Hmmm, why is it backed up? Is it because the department you're in is somehow falling behind? Is it inefficient? Are they taking on too much? These are not questions you should ask openly, but they're something to think about.

 

But I feel like I'm drowning. And I'm so scared about them rethinking their hiring decision. However my position is a term. It'll end a year from now anyways. So part of me feels ok. My boss has told me she knows how hard I am trying but I am not sure that's good or bad. Maybe she takes it as a sign I am hopeless. And whenever my coworkers whisper I'm scared they are talking about how much they hate me. I feel like I have no one to talk to about this.

 

They don't know you, so how could they "hate" you? They might be talking about you, or they might not? Who knows? Maybe the thing to do is to start introducing yourself to people? If this is hard to do, maybe Google self-help stuff that will show you some techniques you can use in the office.

 

Today I saw a welcome letter for the new person who will be replacing the other guy whose term is up in a couple months. I noticed I'm not mentioned on the letter where it says the others in our office will answer any questions for him. But then again I haven't met him at all whereas the others have. They interviewed him and chatted with him before I even started. So could that be why? Every time I think about this I get nauseous.

 

Seriously, what kinds of questions would you be able to answer? You're new, right? You said yourself that you're learning the ropes, so why would you expect to be a resource? It's probably not intended to be an affront. You need to try to re-frame your thoughts.

 

What can I do??? I'm not good at office politics stuff. I just want to make sure I keep this job til the end of my term. I need your advice and Help!!!! I also want to do a GOOD job not the bare minimum. Is it good that my boss knows i am working hard ? I am so filled with anxiety that sometimes I can't concentrate.

 

Is this a job that you really want? Do you really think you can do a good job, or are you just holding on? Sorry if I sound blunt, but sometimes it just pays to think about these things.

 

Also how can I stop worrying about my coworkers talking bad about me? or SHOULD I be worried?

 

The thing that works for me is to approach people and acknowledge them. Sometimes this takes effort, but if you can talk to them and get them to open up about themselves, they might take an interest in you. It's easy to talk negatively of someone you don't know. If you don't know someone, you tend to care less about their well-being. Doesn't always guarantee that things will improve but you wouldn't want to work in a toxic environment anyway. Contrary to popular belief, there are always other jobs out there. Just a matter of whether or not the jobs currently available are the ones that best suit you, but I think people need to stop fearing getting fired. People recover, and often sooner than we might think.

[HansonGirl]

Hmmm, why is it backed up? Is it because the department you're in is somehow falling behind? Is it inefficient? Are they taking on too much? These are not questions you should ask openly, but they're something to think about.

 

 

 

They don't know you, so how could they "hate" you? They might be talking about you, or they might not? Who knows? Maybe the thing to do is to start introducing yourself to people? If this is hard to do, maybe Google self-help stuff that will show you some techniques you can use in the office.

 

 

 

Seriously, what kinds of questions would you be able to answer? You're new, right? You said yourself that you're learning the ropes, so why would you expect to be a resource? It's probably not intended to be an affront. You need to try to re-frame your thoughts.

 

 

 

Is this a job that you really want? Do you really think you can do a good job, or are you just holding on? Sorry if I sound blunt, but sometimes it just pays to think about these things.

 

 

 

The thing that works for me is to approach people and acknowledge them. Sometimes this takes effort, but if you can talk to them and get them to open up about themselves, they might take an interest in you. It's easy to talk negatively of someone you don't know. If you don't know someone, you tend to care less about their well-being. Doesn't always guarantee that things will improve but you wouldn't want to work in a toxic environment anyway. Contrary to popular belief, there are always other jobs out there. Just a matter of whether or not the jobs currently available are the ones that best suit you, but I think people need to stop fearing getting fired. People recover, and often sooner than we might think.

 

Thanks everyone so much for your responses thus far

 

just wanted to address a couple things - my coworkers DO know me, and we are actually a tight bunch. (even though i haven't been there long at all).

anyways, so basically it was a good thing that my boss said she knows i am "trying" hard? I want to try hard and do well. I mean sometimes ones enthusiasm can outweigh perhaps if there is someone more qualified. And i am willing to work really hard if necessary. I also will want a recommendation from my boss...

[runredlights]

Are you a temp hire?

 

I had an old employer who never gave positive feedback, only negative.

[HansonGirl]

Are you a temp hire?

 

I had an old employer who never gave positive feedback, only negative.

 

can you share your experience with that employer who only gave the negative feedback?

[preraph]

Worrying is not productive. Half of this is in your imagination. If that job is that challenging, then they know that job is challenging and have been through this before. It's up to them to hire or train enough to make the job manageable, not you.

 

My advice is two points, and I am serious about them both.

First, all you can do is the best you can do. Do that and don't waste energy worrying.

Second, do NOT try to fix all their problems. Do not go outside your assigned job responsibilities OR work later than the hours they gave you to try to fix the problems THEY created by either not hiring enough people or not training adequately. Do not be the one who sticks their neck out being the troubleshooter and whistle-blower. If there's a problem that's not directly under your responsibility, let someone else catch it. Companies do this all the time to try to cut their overhead. They know they're doing it. They will never fix it unless it is THEM instead of you who has to deal with the consequences. So don't try to cover up their pile of poop. Do what you're told and that's it. Go home on time and forget about it.

Edited June 14, 2015 by preraph

[HansonGirl]

Worrying is not productive. Half of this is in your imagination. If that job is that challenging, then they know that job is challenging and have been through this before. It's up to them to hire or train enough to make the job manageable, not you.

 

My advice is two points, and I am serious about them both.

First, all you can do is the best you can do. Do that and don't waste energy worrying.

Second, do NOT try to fix all their problems. Do not go outside your assigned job responsibilities OR work later than the hours they gave you to try to fix the problems THEY created by either not hiring enough people or not training adequately. Do not be the one who sticks their neck out being the troubleshooter and whistle-blower. If there's a problem that's not directly under your responsibility, let someone else catch it. Companies do this all the time to try to cut their overhead. They know they're doing it. They will never fix it unless it is THEM instead of you who has to deal with the consequences. So don't try to cover up their pile of poop. Do what you're told and that's it. Go home on time and forget about it.

 

thank you for the advice!

[newmoon]

did you lie to get the job or exaggerate your skills? it's normal to be worried in a new job and about the impression you're making, but perhaps you don't actually have the skills to handle the job you were given?? i don't think anyone who is qualified would worry so much (because they will eventually get it), and a job is only tough initially when learning, because you know the basics and will catch on. just wondering if you oversold yourself and that is why you're worried?

[HansonGirl]

did you lie to get the job or exaggerate your skills? it's normal to be worried in a new job and about the impression you're making, but perhaps you don't actually have the skills to handle the job you were given?? i don't think anyone who is qualified would worry so much (because they will eventually get it), and a job is only tough initially when learning, because you know the basics and will catch on. just wondering if you oversold yourself and that is why you're worried?

No I definitely did not oversell myself. I think my fear is due to the fact that the last person before me lasted about four months. And they constantly trash talk my predessecor (sp?). So that is the situation I am walking into. I have also always been lacking in confidence to begin with.

[newmoon]

No I definitely did not oversell myself. I think my fear is due to the fact that the last person before me lasted about four months. And they constantly trash talk my predessecor (sp?). So that is the situation I am walking into. I have also always been lacking in confidence to begin with.

 

ok, well, then i would second the other post that indicated it could be your own paranoia and imagination making things worse for you. it's that whole self-fulfilling prophecy idea. since it's only 1 year (and the last person only lasted 4 months) I would concentrate more on the job than the people working there. it'd be nice to make a friend, but since you're short-term and want a recommendation do not stress about anyone else in the office or what they are (possibly) saying. office workers always gossip - think of it like this: if they are talking about you, that makes you popular :-) and today, for example, a day off? - don't be thinking about the job, that'll also help relieve worries. make sure you have a rich life after work and on days off to take your mind off it. and since you know it's short-term and that the other person didn't last, continue to keep looking for job opportunities so if you are let go you won't feel completely lost and anxious.