palmbreeze Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 I've been dating a guy for over two years now. We've broken up twice during that time and maybe third time is a charm. Some things are simply amazing between us. He's my biggest fan, we have fun together, he's supportive, we have great chemistry....I mean the list goes on. However the negative is starting to outweigh the bad. My last post involved his ex-wife having a key to his house - his promise to get it back from her - and the result of him changing his locks so he doesn't make her feel weird. Just in one day: he wanted to have dinner with my son and I and doesn't show up until 7:00pm, 30 minutes late (I mean he had to feed his dogs and then pick up a pizza when he called me at 6:00), yelled at my son for touching his pizza box b/c he wasn't listening, rolled his eyes at me when I stopped the car in the parking lot to show my son a wedding that was going on (oh he was thinking of a conversation earlier....he wasn't rolling his eyes at me), after letting him know that him coming over to hang out with my son an hour before bed time seems disrespectful he told me that I shouldn't have let him stay at the park so long (after he wanted to go to the park with us) then told me my family treats me like **** (after we started arguing about our relationship and that darn key), and then he told me my three year old was bad, had no discipline, and was out of control...."even your dad and family think he's bad". I asked him to leave. Oh but he didn't mean that my son was bad, it was just the heat of the moment argument he claims. OMG That was only one day, but that one day really pushed my buttons. Now he just wants to come over to hang out like nothing happened, no he doesn't want to talk. Oh, but we can if I want to. It's like he just doesn't get it! He poked the bear.
Fleur de cactus Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 If he does not respect you why do you want this relationship. Having fun is not enough to have a good relationship, there is respect and mutual trust. He wants to control you and your son. I mean I think he can correct your son if he sees that he needs to be redirected but if you think it is too much and your son does not deserve it, talk to the bf. Your son should have priority, the bf does not tell you what to do or change the normal relationship you have with your son. 1
Author palmbreeze Posted June 12, 2015 Author Posted June 12, 2015 My son does come first. I'd do anything for that little boy. That's what makes me so mad! Who tells someone their child is bad and yells at them? The boyfriend has got to go.
TaraMaiden2 Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 You mean your EX-boyfriend. You just need to tell him where he's at.... "Hi, just need to tell you you're my ex- now, because we're done. Feel free to change the locks again. Have a great life. Bye!"
aloneinaz Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 Two things really STAND OUT to me here. 1) You've already broken up twice and reconciled? Are you really surprised this third time hasn't worked either? 2) After reading what you said, most would say "you haven't kicked his butt to the curb, why?" You need to let him know his future has been freed up to explore other relationship options as you're done with him for good. 1
TaraMaiden2 Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 To add: I've been dating a guy for over two years now. We've broken up twice during that time and maybe third time is a charm. Some things are simply amazing between us. He's my biggest fan, we have fun together, he's supportive, we have great chemistry....I mean the list goes on. ..Or then again, it doesn't. However the negative is starting to outweigh the bad....And this is why. You can have a list as long as BOTH arms put together of the good points, but if the bad points even equalise it, you have problems... My last post involved his ex-wife having a key to his house - his promise to get it back from her - and the result of him changing his locks so he doesn't make her feel weird. Just in one day: he wanted to have dinner with my son and I and doesn't show up until 7:00pm, 30 minutes late (I mean he had to feed his dogs and then pick up a pizza when he called me at 6:00), yelled at my son for touching his pizza box b/c he wasn't listening, rolled his eyes at me when I stopped the car in the parking lot to show my son a wedding that was going on (oh he was thinking of a conversation earlier....he wasn't rolling his eyes at me), after letting him know that him coming over to hang out with my son an hour before bed time seems disrespectful he told me that I shouldn't have let him stay at the park so long (after he wanted to go to the park with us) then told me my family treats me like **** (after we started arguing about our relationship and that darn key), and then he told me my three year old was bad, had no discipline, and was out of control...."even your dad and family think he's bad". I asked him to leave. Oh but he didn't mean that my son was bad, it was just the heat of the moment argument he claims. OMG That was only one day, but that one day really pushed my buttons. Now he just wants to come over to hang out like nothing happened, no he doesn't want to talk. Oh, but we can if I want to. It's like he just doesn't get it! He poked the bear.Passive-aggressive cowardly liar.... looks down on you but claims it ain't so.... won't talk, acts like nothing's happened, yet leaves you feeling like crap.... End it, end it for good, and don't be so needy, desperate and compliant that you settle for this, rather than wait for someone better....
Author palmbreeze Posted June 12, 2015 Author Posted June 12, 2015 Thanks guys! I need a kick in the booty and some motivational words to get me going. Sometimes you get too involved in your own drama you don't know which way is up....aka need to make sure I'm doing the right thing by dumping him and that I'm not just being in-mature or overreacting.
torturedartist Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 I've been dating a guy for over two years now. We've broken up twice during that time and maybe third time is a charm. Some things are simply amazing between us. He's my biggest fan, we have fun together, he's supportive, we have great chemistry....I mean the list goes on. However the negative is starting to outweigh the bad. My last post involved his ex-wife having a key to his house - his promise to get it back from her - and the result of him changing his locks so he doesn't make her feel weird. Just in one day: he wanted to have dinner with my son and I and doesn't show up until 7:00pm, 30 minutes late (I mean he had to feed his dogs and then pick up a pizza when he called me at 6:00), yelled at my son for touching his pizza box b/c he wasn't listening, rolled his eyes at me when I stopped the car in the parking lot to show my son a wedding that was going on (oh he was thinking of a conversation earlier....he wasn't rolling his eyes at me), after letting him know that him coming over to hang out with my son an hour before bed time seems disrespectful he told me that I shouldn't have let him stay at the park so long (after he wanted to go to the park with us) then told me my family treats me like **** (after we started arguing about our relationship and that darn key), and then he told me my three year old was bad, had no discipline, and was out of control...."even your dad and family think he's bad". I asked him to leave. Oh but he didn't mean that my son was bad, it was just the heat of the moment argument he claims. OMG That was only one day, but that one day really pushed my buttons. Now he just wants to come over to hang out like nothing happened, no he doesn't want to talk. Oh, but we can if I want to. It's like he just doesn't get it! He poked the bear. And after he poked the bear, the bear's response was to come to loveshack.org and tell a bunch of strangers about its ordeal with him? Is that what bears do when they're upset? They tell a bunch of other bears about how upset they are? A real bear would have torn his head off and dragged his corpse back to its cave, where the bear and its young would have feasted on it. Maybe we should just skip the bear analogy? We're talking about humans here. Humans like to dance around the truth. The particular human you're talking about is really put off by your son. He'll always be. He'll never grow to love him. It's not in him. Hey may tell you otherwise, and he may very well believe otherwise. But he'll only be fooling himself and you. How important is your son to you, on a scale of 1 to 10? If he's above the 5 mark what you need to do is get rid of this guy and look for a genuine nice guy. He probably won't ride a motorcycle. He'll probably have a gut, and maybe some man-boobs. But he'll make as good as effort as anyone can to love your son, and your son will recognize his effort and grow up no more messed up than most kids are these days. Hope that helps. 1
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