ascendotum Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 So, IMO, certain heavier woman prefer certain skinner guys cuz they figure he's desperate and will settle for them (relationship security blanket). lol that's a bit harsh G but true in many cases. I don't necessarily think that majority of the bigger women will think the skinny guys are lousy catches though as I feel they are less judgmental but I don't think they are going to be their dream guys. As a guy who was skinny for many yrs, I found the bigger women definitely were friendlier, and the least friendly were the petite women. I definitely think its a matter of options, with both the skinny guy and the overweight woman having less...broadly speaking. Of course you can't apply that to all such couples, as there are good looking outgoing ones that do okay when it comes to dating or are genuinely attracted to their physical opposite. There are plenty of small build women who want bigger build guys as it makes them feel more feminine or girly or better protected or have someone they can count on. I can only see that feeling being stronger in average size women and stronger again for big women (tho maybe less on the safety aspect).
Grewd Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 I'm a comparatively skinny guy, not some of the skinniest but I neither have a lot of fat or muscles. I've noticed this as well and I'm from Norway, same happens here. I've been picked up by, dated and had sex with several obviously overweight women. I don't really feel attracted to it, except for this one particular woman because there's so many other good qualities about her. They usually have a go at me as if I'm somehow an easy target, I used to be back when I was really insecure. The exception is someone I met recently, I had a go at her but she just turns out to be too insecure which is weird because she's got no reason to IMO. I think there is indeed a connection between body weight and insecurity, of course with exceptions though. I recently saw a stereotypical couple and I could barely believe my eyes. The chick was huge with a decent amount of social confidence, the guy relatively normal although skinny in comparison. He also seemed insecure, quiet and in pressured situations defensive. I saw them arguing (in front of a party I was at), that was just a horrible sight. She seemed to have no respect for the guy, standing there and yelling up in his face. He was clearly on the defense just taking the (unwarranted) hits, as if he had no self-respect. It looked like the typical crazy "I do what I want" type of woman (including snack a lot), he looked like "I'll take whatever I can get" type of guy. I bet those types of arguments happen frequently in their relationship. I can relate to this as I used to be that desperate type of guy myself, today I see how crazy many of the women who tried getting me really are so I feel like I've dodged bullets. If I was the guy in the situation above I would probably have given it to her straight and walked away. I think a level of desperation drives these things. If I was to go for an overweight woman there would have to be something about her to compensate for it. Like awesome personality, but usually their personalities are a bundle of issues. However I wouldn't take someone with a bad personality regardless if they were super models, which is surprisingly common. The last point to make is that bodyweight is a general indicator of lifestyle, which is why I do judge. People with a body size in the average range indicates a healthy and balanced lifestyle to me, shows me they can regulate themselves autonomously as I can. Think of it like extremes, anorexic people show way too much constraint and fat people show way too little in regards to food. We all know eating too much or too little is unhealthy, so what weight really tells me is how much they care for themselves. This doesn't look like a straight line on a graph, like more weight equals better health or vice versa. It looks like a bell curve, starting from skinny which is unhealthy more weight indicates better health up to a certain point where the health indication dips down again. I could illustrate the same graph with medicine, ranging from unhealthy to not ever use medicine despite severe illness, to healthy to use when sick to unhealthy again by using when not sick (drug abuse).
loveweary11 Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 I've always been really attracted to women that are size 10-12. They're not big enough to be obese, but are carrying just a bit of extra weight in the right places and look healthy. I've never been attracted to women that had asses and hips meeting in a straight line or that were so skinny you could see their ribs protruding. You'd be my perfect wingman!!! The girls you describe not being attracted to are *exactly* what I find most attractive. Funny you should mention that ass/hip ratio too. Not a lot of people give that a second thought, but to me, it's literally the most important thing. It turns me on to no end when that ratio is approaching 1:1 on a thin girl, but the butt is still really round. This is more important to me than pretty much any feature. Don't mind a few ribs either, or those pelvic bones showing, so long as it's in a healthy way... not emaciated, but muscular and fit with these features. (also like little short ones) I can't go anywhere near the sizes you like and be aroused. That would make us perfect wingmen. ha ha ha 1
torturedartist Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 What does the big girl like about a skinny guy? Do we remind them of what they want to look like?Is it usually because really skinny guys and fat women feel ugly in there eyes. so they "settle" for each other, or look past the weight issue all together because they themselves don't feel like they deserve better. Most realize that better doesn't come with a scale, but some don't. I've heard men getting flack for caring too much about women's bodies, but I I don't think it's fair singling them out. Women can be the same way. I'll admit that I'm not physically attracted to overweight woman , but I don't look for an underweight woman and date them. Thick woman on the other hand a different ball game . I think woman to have shape and curves but not be overweight . One woman comes to mind Rachael Ray her body type is perfect for me . For me I will not date a girl bigger than me or a girl too skinny it is gross . To get straight to the answer...I'm not so sure that big girls like skinny guys so much. What kind of scientific method did you use to determine that they do. You did use some kind of scientific method, didn't you? Or is your question based on an unfounded generalization you made, because it somehow benefited you to believe it? I'm also not sure how ascertaining an answer to this conundrum of yours will help you in the future. I'd like to posit that it won't, and that your motive for posting here wasn't to acquire knowledge. It was to rant, because you're sexually frustrated. Just my opinion, for what it's worth... 3
loveweary11 Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 There can also be other things "going on" that an observer doesn't know about. To see me and my husband together, some could wonder why he "chose" a heavy woman when he is a skinny guy. But the facts in play are these: I was at a very good weight (about 125) when we met and married, and in fact he was overweight by a bit which didn't matter at all to me because I really loved him as a person. Move ahead 4 years and I was diagnosed with a thyroid disease, put on intensive medication and gained about 40 lbs in 5 months, another 20 over the next year. Move ahead yet another 4 years, and he was diagnosed with cancer, underwent successful surgery, but lost 150 lbs in 6 months and has never gained back much (they had to take part of his stomach). You can choose a person with the body type you really are drawn to, but if you last as a couple, the circumstances of life can change that body type in any one of a number of drastic ways. True diagnosed thyroid conditions are a whole different ball game. I've seen these first hand, but the other way around. I hooked up with and then became friends with a girl with a thyroid problem. She's like 5'4"and 100lbs. Very, very pretty. Maybe a touch too skinny for her height. As I watched her eat 4 meals a day, some McDonald's, others whatever high calorie, plus candy, plus ice cream, I was stunned. I'm a guy with a pretty good appetite. This girl out ate me 2:1 probably in calories. Later, she got on meds for her thyroid issue and it barely helped her gain just a few extra pounds.
johndoe2 Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 When I see certain skinny guy/heavy woman couples - IMO, the guy is either scrawny skinny and/or has other issues going on (insecurities) and figures that a heavier woman is going to be grateful that he gave her the time of day...so, he develops a "preference" for heavier women... This is how I developed a preference for Asian women. Not due to any innate preference, but because they're the only ones who ever seem interested in me. Though I have been told by some Chinese people that I have a somewhat 'Asian' personality. Much weight as we may be inclined to give to the ethereal and subjective factors, the fact of life is, the most determining factor in how a person does in any realm of life, including attractiveness of their partners, is how well they can do. Sure, occasionally there are people like Warren Buffett who are billionaires but live in little houses and live modestly, but generally I think people have what they can afford, and take what they can get. 1
ZA Dater Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 Highly amusing topic for me because on OLD and Tinder I only seem to attract the large females. (am an athletic guy)
frogs88 Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 I definitely think its a matter of options, with both the skinny guy and the overweight woman having less...broadly speaking. Of course you can't apply that to all such couples, as there are good looking outgoing ones that do okay when it comes to dating or are genuinely attracted to their physical opposite. I agree with this - ofcourse it isn't all that black and white but it's going to play a significant role in general. Sucks for the skinny guys and overweight galls/guys But that's life. It's no different than for the short/tall conundrum or the socially inclined, or the unsuccessful etc. There's these aspects that generally decrease or increase your potential depending on how they manifest in a person.
LookAtThisPOst Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 I always thought that bigger women weren't into skinny guys because...just like with height...it makes the woman feel less protected. It doesn't look manly enough to said woman for her to appear bigger even HORIZONTALLY than the man. Apparently , this seems goes both direction, horizontal and vertical. Just a theory though. What does the big girl like about a skinny guy? Do we remind them of what they want to look like?Is it usually because really skinny guys and fat women feel ugly in there eyes. so they "settle" for each other, or look past the weight issue all together because they themselves don't feel like they deserve better. Most realize that better doesn't come with a scale, but some don't. I've heard men getting flack for caring too much about women's bodies, but I I don't think it's fair singling them out. Women can be the same way. I'll admit that I'm not physically attracted to overweight woman , but I don't look for an underweight woman and date them. Thick woman on the other hand a different ball game . I think woman to have shape and curves but not be overweight . One woman comes to mind Rachael Ray her body type is perfect for me . For me I will not date a girl bigger than me or a girl too skinny it is gross .
jen1447 Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 Funny you should mention that ass/hip ratio too. Not a lot of people give that a second thought, but to me, it's literally the most important thing. It turns me on to no end when that ratio is approaching 1:1 on a thin girl, but the butt is still really round. This is more important to me than pretty much any feature. Don't mind a few ribs either, or those pelvic bones showing, so long as it's in a healthy way... not emaciated, but muscular and fit with these features. (also like little short ones) Do you literally mean an equal sized waist and ass? That would be like complete and utter little boy dimensions lol. No grown women are built like that. btw, everyone considers hip-waist ratios, at least subconsciously. There have been 'attraction' studies done that show that's what men evaluate most, like the one where scientists studied Jessica Alba and concluded she was hot. (Because she apparently has the perfect hip-waist ratio, lol ) 1
stillafool Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 Could sex be part of the reason? I always wondered how two 300+ pound people have sex. All of that huffing, puffing and sweating. Is anybody really being satisfied? I imagine if you had one big person and one skinny person, the chances of both being satisfied are enhanced tremendously. Just a thought. I don't know .... This is always what I think when I see this combination.
Rejected Rosebud Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 Maybe the people are together because they like each other???:confused: Just a thought! 3
fitnessfan365 Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 (edited) Do you literally mean an equal sized waist and ass? That would be like complete and utter little boy dimensions lol. No grown women are built like that. btw, everyone considers hip-waist ratios, at least subconsciously. There have been 'attraction' studies done that show that's what men evaluate most, like the one where scientists studied Jessica Alba and concluded she was hot. (Because she apparently has the perfect hip-waist ratio, lol ) Exactly. When I see a woman with ass/hips that meet in a straight line, it looks "boyish" to me. What's really feminine to me is curves and a bit of healthy extra size. But as we've covered in other threads, "curvy" is never used properly when describing body type online. When I hear the term curvy, I think size 10-12 hourglass/50's pin up model. Not a size 24. But what I've also noticed is that there are some women online who look relatively fit and are actually curvy or at most "a few extra lbs". But they think that they're fat and say "full figured". Mainly because they've always been told that anything over a size 8 is considered "fat". You'd be my perfect wingman!!! The girls you describe not being attracted to are *exactly* what I find most attractive. Funny you should mention that ass/hip ratio too. Not a lot of people give that a second thought, but to me, it's literally the most important thing. It turns me on to no end when that ratio is approaching 1:1 on a thin girl, but the butt is still really round. This is more important to me than pretty much any feature. Don't mind a few ribs either, or those pelvic bones showing, so long as it's in a healthy way... not emaciated, but muscular and fit with these features. (also like little short ones) I can't go anywhere near the sizes you like and be aroused. That would make us perfect wingmen. ha ha ha Haha.. Totally dude. You feel free to keep all the tooth pics to yourself. I'll take the women with actual hips to grab and asses to smack any day. It's funny though. Before a good buddy of mine met his GF, we'd always be attracted to the exact same type of women. Any time one would walk by, or being doing a workout where we train outdoors, we'd both check the same women out at the same time. So it actually does work out better when buddies are attracted to different types of women. There is never any c**k blocking or conflict of interest. Haha Edited June 12, 2015 by fitnessfan365 1
mike_89 Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 Dunno... bigger women seem to like big guys like some of my friends and me (all around 190 cm, 6'2 6'3 ish and 90kg+) just as much as normal girls do. I think bigger women don't have a preference for skinny guys. I just think that skinny guys are not preferred by the general dating market so they end up with bigger women because they have a disadvantage in dating the girls society deems "the most attractive".
JJCaliGirl Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 I'm a girl with a little extra, and while I don't mind looking at men whose bodies rival Michaelangelo's David, I am most attracted to men who have a "dad bod" or someone who is built like a defensive lineman in American football. I don't want a super skinny guy, someone who is athletic, or toned. Why? Just like what most of the men said, I want there to be a little something to grab onto. I don't want to see his bones protruding out of his body. I want to feel secured in his arms or when we are walking hand in hand, and a skinny guy just cannot do this for me.
empresario Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 Oh sure! I have dated a couple muscular guys. Perhaps it was a hold-over from my awkward nerdy days but in the past I usually didn't go after/flirt with muscly guys. I thought they'd probably prefer a fit woman with muscle tone. I viewed them like nice art, lovely to look at! Over the past year or so I have broadened my horizons and found that lots of types of men like me. Also I am tall (5'7"), not extraordinarily so but being dainty enough to be thrown around just wasn't a thought I ever had! How cute, you think 5'7'' is tall. On topic, everyone is allowed to have preferences. I wish I could control my preferences, but I can't. That goes for everyone. Skinny guys aren't necessarily attractive to normal women (I was 6'2'' 150 lbs at one point...trust me I know). Attraction variance is universal. If a skinny, lanky guy is predominantly not attractive, then they may line up well with a girl a few pounds overweight. I don't know, just spit-balling. Normally when I see a skinny guy with a big woman...the guy is not white.
elaine567 Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 Skinny guys aren't necessarily attractive to normal women (I was 6'2'' 150 lbs at one point...trust me I know). Attraction variance is universal. If a skinny, lanky guy is predominantly not attractive, then they may line up well with a girl a few pounds overweight. That is my perception too, a matching up of desirablity. Both Men And Women Were Asked To Describe A Woman's Ideal Man. The Results Are Telling.
123321 Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 What does the big girl like about a skinny guy? Can you imagine two obese people trying to have sex?
toscaroscura Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 How cute, you think 5'7'' is tall. I tower over the women in my family and I'm always the tallest friend among my girlfriends! Perhaps I'm just surrounded by tiny women. 1
123321 Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 I tower over the women in my family and I'm always the tallest friend among my girlfriends! Perhaps I'm just surrounded by tiny women. 5' 7 is 4" over the average in America, more than that in some places like Asia. It's roughly the same (compared to USA average) as a 6' 1 or 6' 2 man.
alphamale Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 Can you imagine two obese people trying to have sex? indeed, it would probably take them hours to find their genitals 1
empresario Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 5' 7 is 4" over the average in America, more than that in some places like Asia. It's roughly the same (compared to USA average) as a 6' 1 or 6' 2 man. I think it's important to realize I grew up in Indiana. It's a basketball state. I graduated at 6' flat and was about average height (if not below average). Different demographics definitely produce different averages. My dad is from an area where people aren't that tall and was the tallest person in his family/area. He was 5'11". My mom was the same height. Picking a tall mother for me was the only thing my dad ever did nice for my life .
123321 Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 I think it's important to realize I grew up in Indiana. It's a basketball state. Without actual data this is just sort of close to useless. I spent a long time in Southeast Asia, and I like spicy food. We can swap pointless anecdotes I guess. 1
empresario Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 Without actual data this is just sort of close to useless. I spent a long time in Southeast Asia, and I like spicy food. We can swap pointless anecdotes I guess. Alright, let's skip the personal stories, then. Your math was wrong but I was trying to be nice and provide personal experience to have a conversation. According to the US census, average, white, US female height is 5'5''. Standard sociological male/female divergence would put her at 6' flat, or perhaps a little under. I am a big data scientist. Numbers are my game.
123321 Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 (edited) According to the US census, average, white, US female height is 5'5'' Is she white? I never saw her say so but I admit I didn't scour every post. In any case, she's certainly taller than average. EDIT: MY Math was this: (67"/63.8")*69.7", where the part in the parens becomes a unitless factor, and is then multiplied to become 73.2" (roughly) Edited June 12, 2015 by 123321
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