nzguy1982 Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 Hi, So I've not been in contact with my ex now for 2 days and I'm really struggling with the urge to contact her. Especially because it's the weekend coming up and I get lonely I think of her and want to talk and see her to hang out. I cheated this morning and looked at her Instagram account because its public and saw pics of her and her ex who she went back to. Reading her comments about how cute he is hurt. I keep struggling with these thoughts about if she thinks of me or misses me. Part of me wants her back so bad. but the other part knows she's done me wrong so many times and that in the long run she will hurt me again. But I'm blinded by my love for this girl. The reason I'm posting on here is so I don't email her at work and see how she is. I know I need to continue NC and hope I don't crack on the weekend when I'm alone. Someone needs to invent something for people that are going through break ups to fast forward time or numb me from my feelings.
aloneinaz Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 Ask yourself what contacting someone who kicked you out of their lives is going to accomplish? Will it get her back? No.. Will you feel terrible and further rejected? Yes.. 1
mossycup Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 One thing that is hard about NC for me is that I can pretend that maybe the person misses me, and then I realized they aren't contacting me, and they don't care even a fraction of what I do. Then I cry and feel so sad. How does it happen, that two people can feel so different? Why do we even have relationships when this can happen it seems so easily?
Author nzguy1982 Posted June 12, 2015 Author Posted June 12, 2015 Ask yourself what contacting someone who kicked you out of their lives is going to accomplish? Will it get her back? No.. Will you feel terrible and further rejected? Yes.. I know you're right. I guess it's the gamble and risk that I may get a response from her or her from her. But more than likely I would get rejected as you say and feel terrible.
Author nzguy1982 Posted June 12, 2015 Author Posted June 12, 2015 I think that too mossycup... its been a few days and I haven't heard from her so thinking she doesn't care too much about me. Sometimes I feel like crying but I can't seem to let these emotions out.
aloneinaz Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 I know you're right. I guess it's the gamble and risk that I may get a response from her or her from her. But more than likely I would get rejected as you say and feel terrible. Just keep reading on this site, especially in breaks and breaking up. There's so many posts about people breaking NC and feeling horrible, rejected further and then feeling like it's day 1 of the break up again. Also, when you contact someone who's asked you to go away and leave me alone, you look pathetic, weak, like a door mat, have no pride or self respect and it turns them off further. Dumpers will respect someone they dumped and then the dumped vanishes from their lives. It actually messes w/their minds that the person doesn't keep contacting them, begging and pleading for another chance. They tend to think "hell, maybe he's glad he's not with me anymore".. It's very psychological in nature and knocks the chip of their shoulders. Keep your pride and dignity. She's gone. That chapters of your life is over. Focus on NC and heal and learn from it. When you're ready, you'll start dating and find someone else.
Plaster Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 Breaking NC seems a good idea at the time but you soon regret it. You will see. You will do it regardless of everyone telling you. Then you will learn. I'm saying this from experience. Good luck mate keep using the forum and stay strong! 1
foolinlove79 Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 Dont think of it as you will never contact them again. Just think het through the day. And as more time passes it does get easier. You also think about them a lot less too. It is hard at first but it does get easier. I am 5 weeks and i have never contacted them. They contacted me once. I will never contact them again. Wouldnt give them the satisfaction
kasop Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 If you havent yet.. read this as many times as you need http://Www.breakuprecoveryguide.com
Starks Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 2 days... oh boy do you have a rough patch ahead of you. It feels pointless replying cause you are at a point where you have to fail over and over to get it. By the time you get it you'll be giving the same advice to some other poor schmuck. People on here told me months ago to go NC and unfriend/Block, I refused to believe any of this **** applied to me and everytime I broke NC I just made her hate me more I eventually got it though, I'm out living my life and meeting other girls and now she probably hates me even more which I could care less about by now. I've forgiven myself for my behavior towards her a long time ago. If you contact her; she'll show her friends your pathetic messages, they will laugh at you for being needy go NC and pretend she is dead: she will feel horrible and probably make a thread on here asking people why you got over her so easy (even if you didn't) Which sounds better in the long run? 2
kasop Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 2 days... oh boy do you have a rough patch ahead of you. It feels pointless replying cause you are at a point where you have to fail over and over to get it. By the time you get it you'll be giving the same advice to some other poor schmuck. People on here told me months ago to go NC and unfriend/Block, I refused to believe any of this **** applied to me and everytime I broke NC I just made her hate me more I eventually got it though, I'm out living my life and meeting other girls and now she probably hates me even more which I could care less about by now. I've forgiven myself for my behavior towards her a long time ago. If you contact her; she'll show her friends your pathetic messages, they will laugh at you for being needy go NC and pretend she is dead: she will feel horrible and probably make a thread on here asking people why you got over her so easy (even if you didn't) Which sounds better in the long run? Take it from starks or take it from me. Dont be one of us lol unless you like doing things the hard way. The connection you two had is dead and will never be the same. So therefore have no connection at all. Complete nc. The grief will eventually set in and she might try to reach out and make you feel bad for it still.. complete nc. Good luck
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