Krieger Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 I am not taking about money all thought it does help define in one being successful. Lets face it because not too many woman want a guy that has no goals in life and no ambition and so on. He just goes to work and does nothing to better himself or has any passions or hobbies. I do not see how woman date guy that are satisfied working a dead end job and play PS4 on his days off trying to be the madden king. Man I wish I could be satisfied working a dead end job with no upward mobility. My job defines I know it should not I have more to offer but I need more than a paycheck. I wouldn't enter retail management for any amount of money, after seeing what my bosses over the years go through. Ever see a dog that has been kicked too much, and now flinches the minute you move towards it? That's most retail managers. You have to sell your soul to the company, to be one of those...and the payout isn't worth the cost. On top off that you have to kiss butt , get on your knees or lay on your back with your feet in the air to get a head in retail. My point is I have to much self worth to kiss a grown mans butt . For me I do not want to be 70 years old still working because I have too. Even if I finish college get a career and a woman and some kids. I am still going to look for ways to make money or do things to bring in extra money. I cant function with out goals and responsibility . A career that works with my strengths and lets me uses them. For example often characterized as being “in their own heads,” introverts tend to note subtleties that their more extroverted counterparts might not pick up on right away. I tend to spend more time analyzing a situation before making decisions. I found something I am passionate about and going to go get it. The only person stopping me is me and I am going to beat the odds like Ike beat on his first wife. 25 Signs you are already successful and you’re Simply Unaware. I would say this is a good way to know if your successful in life. 25 Signs You are Already Successful and You're Simply Unaware
acrosstheuniverse Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 It's just part of the picture. I class myself as successful, I earn a good wage but most importantly I earn it doing something I love, and hold a hard earned professional registration which means I should in theory never really be out of work even if I get made redundant. I wouldn't be happy with a partner who had no drive or ambition but, again, I don't expect a partner to earn lots. If they're earning enough to live on, and doing something they love that they're passionate about and invested in, then that's all I really ask. I'm the higher earner in my current relationship and it doesn't bother me, although if I had a partner who was going to be on absolute minimum wage the rest of our lives I'd consider whether we really could build a life together, support a family and so forth. Never understood those girls who want their guy to be so successful he's on six figures and spoiling her with jewellery or trips. Once someone is financially secure enough to live a normal life without too many struggles, other factors such as emotional satisfaction, goal compatibility, having fun together, trustworthiness are all way, way more important than any extra £s. PS just reading the link and number one is kinda what I'm talking about. If you're not living hand to mouth and running down to 0 or in debt every month, you've already become a hell of a lot more successful than many people who'll never make above minimum wage. I only just got away from minimum wage and doubled my income last year after qualifying in my field and I feel pretty damn successful now that my income covers my expenditure and I can save a little for car emergencies too. Perhaps that's a lowly goal but after a decade of minimum wage jobs, it feels like finally being a real, self sufficient adult. And I'm late twenties haha. 1
autumnnight Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 If a man can't hold down a job, that's a problem. If he consistently cannot/will not pay his bills, that is a problem. I would think the same thing about a woman. 3
Arieswoman Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 I think it's important for both men and women to be successful. That doesn't mean lots of $$$s or £££s but have some skill, talent or aptitude that they can be proud of. That could mean playing a musical instrument, baking great muffins, growing prize roses, taking in homeless cats, running a marathon for charity. It doesn't matter what it is, because everyone has unique skills and talents that they can use if they choose to develop them. My definition of successful is to be the best that you can be in whatever arena you can. 3
Phoe Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 Success is a very vague term for me, and to me it's not about reaching a certain standard level where everyone at or above that level is successful, and everyone below that level is not successful, but it's about feeling a personal fulfillment, a level of personal satisfaction that someone is where they want to be.... and who would I be to say that whatever it is that makes that person happy, is not enough to be considered successful? That being said, when it comes to a relationship, I do need a man to be able to take care of himself. My ex struggled to hold a job down, and did go stretches of time with no job, but when he DID have a job, he was making twice as much as me... and yet I was sometimes paying his bills and putting gas in his car. I struggled with understanding how he could fail to take care of himself while making twice what I was making. Not to mention the utter irritation I felt when for the 3rd time in a month I'd get a text from him saying "Called out of work. Didn't feel like going." What the HELL? You didn't go to work cause you just didn't feel like it. My god, I can be sick as a dog and I will drag my half-dead body into work and still get **** done... seeing him have such a flippant attitude about going to work just irked me so badly. I'm more interested in someone being responsible for themselves, than a certain level of "success"... 4
acrosstheuniverse Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 Not to mention the utter irritation I felt when for the 3rd time in a month I'd get a text from him saying "Called out of work. Didn't feel like going." What the HELL? You didn't go to work cause you just didn't feel like it. My god, I can be sick as a dog and I will drag my half-dead body into work and still get **** done... seeing him have such a flippant attitude about going to work just irked me so badly. I'm more interested in someone being responsible for themselves, than a certain level of "success"... Man, that would really irritate me too! Calling in sick because you can't be bothered is what teenagers do, not adults. I'm an advocate of not going in if you really are truly sick, but if you just can't be bothered to go and don't go, that's a major issue indicative of an inability to manage stress and live up to your commitments! 2
MissBee Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 (edited) It's just part of the picture. I class myself as successful, I earn a good wage but most importantly I earn it doing something I love, and hold a hard earned professional registration which means I should in theory never really be out of work even if I get made redundant. I wouldn't be happy with a partner who had no drive or ambition but, again, I don't expect a partner to earn lots. If they're earning enough to live on, and doing something they love that they're passionate about and invested in, then that's all I really ask. I'm the higher earner in my current relationship and it doesn't bother me, although if I had a partner who was going to be on absolute minimum wage the rest of our lives I'd consider whether we really could build a life together, support a family and so forth. Ditto. I need someone who has higher ambitions, goals, and drive in life and not just go to work, make a check, clock out. That wage-worker mentality isn't for me. It has nothing to with actual income earned. If a man was earning over six figures blindly punching the clock, I wouldn't be a match for such a guy either. My career is important to me and it's not just about making money and for the career I'll have, I cant be with someone who doesn't respect and appreciate that about me. I'm a much better match for a man who also has a career that he loves and is more to him than just a way to make money. But even outside of career, even if you just do a random job to make money, you then need to have other ambitions and goals and things you want to contribute to the world. That's my ideal. One of my better relationships, the guy understood and supported my work, he had a career that he was good at but it wasn't his passion, and he opened a small business based on his passion. Outside of that he cares a lot about his community and headed a community youth organization that had events for community kids, he was on the exec board of our alumni association, he volunteered often, he was always doing self-development work shops and just overall was someone who was stimulating and challenging because his mind worked in many different ways and he was multi-dimensional, had dreams, goals, things he valued outside of just making a check, etc. THAT kind of person is the type that I'm most suited for. Not everyone is like that and not every woman cares about ambitions....but what is likely is that if a woman is ambitious herself she'll unlikely be happy with a man who isn't. Edited June 11, 2015 by MissBee
jen1447 Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 A guy's got to have his sh*t together, that's pretty much all. 3
toscaroscura Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 Ambition does nothing much for me either way. I'm not too ambitious either, so why would I demand he bring to the table what I lack? My preference is a man that pays his bills, takes care of himself, and lives a life he is comfortable and happy with. Like me. 1
Author Krieger Posted June 11, 2015 Author Posted June 11, 2015 I need to feel challenged at my job or i get board I need a job that on the go and can not sit at a desk all day 8 hours a day. I have gifts that I need to share or I feel like I am not living to my full potential. For example I have a way in dealing with people and talking to people that most do not have the skills I have. I understand where people are coming from by listening and reading body language and non verbal commutation. I tend to know what people are thinking or what there going to say way before they are going to say it.
autumnnight Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 I need to feel challenged at my job or i get board I need a job that on the go and can not sit at a desk all day 8 hours a day. I have gifts that I need to share or I feel like I am not living to my full potential. For example I have a way in dealing with people and talking to people that most do not have the skills I have. I understand where people are coming from by listening and reading body language and non verbal commutation. I tend to know what people are thinking or what there going to say way before they are going to say it. All this is great, and I say this as gently as possible... It has been my experience that this is code for "I don't want to have to do anything I don't want to, my boss doesn't understand me, and when it gets hard I'll quit." In our society, there are mores that responsible people follow. There is a game responsible adults must learn to "play" in order to eat and pay the power bill. Find a way to be challenged that does not involve quitting jobs every two months or telling your boss to shove it so you can dream. My ex had that same laziness cloaked as special philosophy, and it is part of what ruined our marriage. I didn't really care that his job wasn't a constant source of "fun and passion" when we got an eviction notice or the water stopped working.
Author Krieger Posted June 11, 2015 Author Posted June 11, 2015 Ambition does nothing much for me either way. I'm not too ambitious either, so why would I demand he bring to the table what I lack? My preference is a man that pays his bills, takes care of himself, and lives a life he is comfortable and happy with. Like me. Well working retail is sucking the will to live right out of me. Even as a young boy I took in animals took care of kittens and bottle fed them because the mother got hit by a car. I remember crying when a few of them did not make it the kittens were very young. I think she the cat just had them that day or a few days ago. BTW the cat was a feral cat. Taking care of sick people , animals and children are things I am good at.
autumnnight Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 Well working retail is sucking the will to live right out of me. Even as a young boy I took in animals took care of kittens and bottle fed them because the mother got hit by a car. I remember crying when a few of them did not make it the kittens were very young. I think she the cat just had them that day or a few days ago. BTW the cat was a feral cat. Taking care of sick people , animals and children are things I am good at. Then while you are working retail, go to school for this, and when you graduate, you can take care of animals and/or sick people. In fact, you can go online right now and find out about schools, certifications, and financial aid.
todreaminblue Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 you can be driven and do volunteer work....or study.........so i think drive and passion is far more important......if you have drive and passion no matter what you do,you will follow it through.... and that will always add up to personal success...might not have financial gain...but it is success.deb 2
Author Krieger Posted June 11, 2015 Author Posted June 11, 2015 All this is great, and I say this as gently as possible... It has been my experience that this is code for "I don't want to have to do anything I don't want to, my boss doesn't understand me, and when it gets hard I'll quit." In our society, there are mores that responsible people follow. There is a game responsible adults must learn to "play" in order to eat and pay the power bill. Find a way to be challenged that does not involve quitting jobs every two months or telling your boss to shove it so you can dream. My ex had that same laziness cloaked as special philosophy, and it is part of what ruined our marriage. I didn't really care that his job wasn't a constant source of "fun and passion" when we got an eviction notice or the water stopped working. Oh I can hold down a job that not the issue . I just know the retail game and they give you enough money to keep you on the treadmill and keep you running on the treadmill until you cant run they fire you. I know people first hand the did not get promoted in retail because they took a vacation with there family . Yep they got told straight up well you doing great but you took a vacation three years ago and well we need you not to take a vacation so we cant give you the promotion. Work to me is a reward not a punishment that is just me. I worked retail far to long and quite the first time even having the job for 5 years almost 6 years. I just go sick of working 7 days a week 12 hour days for months on end . On top of that I would get called a POS and your not doing enough we need more. Too be fair I was going to get fired anyway because I got mad at my boss because I could not get a day off to take a girl out on a date . I just got sick of them F in with me and call out my integrity so I told my boss I tell you what you get on your kness and give me fellatio I will not ask for a day off from work. It did not go over too well but I was 23 yeas old so i was young and stupid.
Author Krieger Posted June 11, 2015 Author Posted June 11, 2015 Then while you are working retail, go to school for this, and when you graduate, you can take care of animals and/or sick people. In fact, you can go online right now and find out about schools, certifications, and financial aid. Well I am currently all ready in school and taking my prerequisites to getting to nursing school. I want to get my bsn nursing and been working my butt off taking 3 classes and putting in 40+ hours a week. I will admit once i went back to college for the 2nd time I kinda fell into my old habits of studying but I broke that bad study habits .I just told myself look if I can do thing 1/2 way and get c and b- if I put the time in getting A will be a cake walk.
Author Krieger Posted June 11, 2015 Author Posted June 11, 2015 It's just part of the picture. I class myself as successful, I earn a good wage but most importantly I earn it doing something I love, and hold a hard earned professional registration which means I should in theory never really be out of work even if I get made redundant. I wouldn't be happy with a partner who had no drive or ambition but, again, I don't expect a partner to earn lots. If they're earning enough to live on, and doing something they love that they're passionate about and invested in, then that's all I really ask. I'm the higher earner in my current relationship and it doesn't bother me, although if I had a partner who was going to be on absolute minimum wage the rest of our lives I'd consider whether we really could build a life together, support a family and so forth. Never understood those girls who want their guy to be so successful he's on six figures and spoiling her with jewellery or trips. Once someone is financially secure enough to live a normal life without too many struggles, other factors such as emotional satisfaction, goal compatibility, having fun together, trustworthiness are all way, way more important than any extra £s. PS just reading the link and number one is kinda what I'm talking about. If you're not living hand to mouth and running down to 0 or in debt every month, you've already become a hell of a lot more successful than many people who'll never make above minimum wage. I only just got away from minimum wage and doubled my income last year after qualifying in my field and I feel pretty damn successful now that my income covers my expenditure and I can save a little for car emergencies too. Perhaps that's a lowly goal but after a decade of minimum wage jobs, it feels like finally being a real, self sufficient adult. And I'm late twenties haha. I did not want to bring up the topic of money but I only make $2,300 a month take home and 1/2 goes to rent . The city I live in the median income for a household for the city was $88,073, and the median income for a family was $104,839.
autumnnight Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 Well I am currently all ready in school and taking my prerequisites to getting to nursing school. I want to get my bsn nursing and been working my butt off taking 3 classes and putting in 40+ hours a week. I will admit once i went back to college for the 2nd time I kinda fell into my old habits of studying but I broke that bad study habits .I just told myself look if I can do thing 1/2 way and get c and b- if I put the time in getting A will be a cake walk. The above sounds like ambition and a path to success to me! It probably SEEMS like it will take forever, but a few years from now you will no longer be behind a retail counter, and people/animal's lives will be better because of you. Eye on the prize
Author Krieger Posted June 11, 2015 Author Posted June 11, 2015 The above sounds like ambition and a path to success to me! It probably SEEMS like it will take forever, but a few years from now you will no longer be behind a retail counter, and people/animal's lives will be better because of you. Eye on the prize Thanks it seem s like it taking forever but I know once i get accepted it will be the best day of my life. My dream job would to be a pediatric nurse practitioner or work in the Psychiatry and Behavioral Medicine Unit (PBMU) they treat children from ages 3 to 18.Also the NICU neonatal intensive care unit.
TunaCat Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 Due to my health issues I can't work full time and in fact I've been out of work for 2 years. However, I've spent the time writing a book and volunteering at an animal shelter. Success means different things to everyone. As long as my significant other is happy, and has his crap together & is responsible, that's all I care about. 1
acrosstheuniverse Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 I did not want to bring up the topic of money but I only make $2,300 a month take home and 1/2 goes to rent . The city I live in the median income for a household for the city was $88,073, and the median income for a family was $104,839. We have pretty much the same income give or take a little. I am shocked half goes to rent though, wow! Only 1/7 of mine goes to rent (I share with a partner), plus half the bills too and whatnot but as far as pure rent goes, it's only a tiny proportion of my income. If I had to spend half of my income on rent then my remaining money would leave me just as worse off as when I made minimum wage. It's none of my business I guess but do you rent your own place alone? When I was on a lower wage I had no choice but to house share at a place where I paid for a room and all bills included.
Author Krieger Posted June 12, 2015 Author Posted June 12, 2015 We have pretty much the same income give or take a little. I am shocked half goes to rent though, wow! Only 1/7 of mine goes to rent (I share with a partner), plus half the bills too and whatnot but as far as pure rent goes, it's only a tiny proportion of my income. If I had to spend half of my income on rent then my remaining money would leave me just as worse off as when I made minimum wage. It's none of my business I guess but do you rent your own place alone? When I was on a lower wage I had no choice but to house share at a place where I paid for a room and all bills included. Yep a one bedroom runs about $1,200 a month and a two bedroom close to $2,000. That is in the city for a small apartment. Outside the city a one bedroom will run $750 to $850. A two bedroom runs $1400 to $1600. I rather live alone having a roommate sucks and I am too old for a roommate.
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 I wonder if financial stability matters a lot to women even when it comes to casual dating?
carhill Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 Perception of success is individual so 'be successful' has a few billion definitions. Men in my demographic generally define their pecking order by the size of their wallet and the social power they and their wives exhibit. Of course, everything is polite and genteel, at least publicly. Do business with them, OTOH, and see exactly where that success comes from, without filters provided for the fairer gender. I see this as normal. The women see one side; fellow males get another. That's how men are, at least IME with 56 on this rock. Society loves success. .
Recommended Posts