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how often do you text/call your significant other


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Posted

I'm just curious

 

I see my girlfriend 4-6 days a week. We don't live together but we just see each other alot. Usually the days I dont see her I dont text her.

 

I hardly ever text her to be honest. AT the start we texted alot but we were in the getting to know each other stage.

 

Now we've advanced and see each other more.

 

If I don't see her on say a tuesday I usually wont text her unless it's something important/urgent.

 

I just see no need to. I don't want our relationship to just die down from all the texting and communictaing

 

now if i go 3-4 days in a row without seeing her i'll tell her i miss her or cant wait to see her again or hope shes doing well

 

but im not gonna do that every day i dont see her. i think thats to much

 

 

so hows your texting/calling wit your significant other

Posted

Daily.

 

How can a relationship die from too much communication? I would say the opposite.

  • Like 2
Posted
I'm just curious

 

I see my girlfriend 4-6 days a week. We don't live together but we just see each other alot. Usually the days I dont see her I dont text her.

 

I hardly ever text her to be honest. AT the start we texted alot but we were in the getting to know each other stage.

 

Now we've advanced and see each other more.

 

If I don't see her on say a tuesday I usually wont text her unless it's something important/urgent.

 

I just see no need to. I don't want our relationship to just die down from all the texting and communictaing

 

now if i go 3-4 days in a row without seeing her i'll tell her i miss her or cant wait to see her again or hope shes doing well

 

but im not gonna do that every day i dont see her. i think thats to much

 

 

so hows your texting/calling wit your significant other

 

If you're seeing each other that often, there's not a lot to say in between especially if when you are together you're having good/quality conversation/communication.

 

Personally, I don't need a call or text if day goes by without seeing each other. I might send a good night text occassionally, but not all the time. Sometimes my SO will call me on the off days just because.

 

If someone gets their panties in a bunch because their SO doesn't call or text every single day and they see each other often, there's something wrong. Either one or the other isn't doing enough to make their partners feel secure or the one who has to have that has their own set of issues.

Posted

I like to be in touch every day and I mean In touch not constant communication. I am a routine person and my ex-bf was too so I felt completely fulfilled with just his 10 am text have a nice day babe and I'd reply you too gorgeous. Nothing more, that's all I needed to feel connected. At night he'd give me a 2 minute call from soccer field or something.

 

This is what I need to feel loved and appreciated. Someone else may need more or less.

 

If I met a man that only contacted me on Thursdays to plan weekend dates it wouldn't work.

 

If you're happy with how things are and she is happy with how things are then leave it as it is. Don't try to fix something that is not broken.

Posted

Usually daily, but nothing extreme. If we miss a day it doesn't bother me.

 

 

We dont' get to see each other more than a few times a week because of our work scheduled, so keeping in touch is kind of important. Text briefly daily and talk on the phone most evenings.

Posted

Daily communication is overkill IMO. I mean think about it honestly. Most people have pretty similar routines/experiences day to day. So nothing is worse than checking in to have the same mundane "how was your day" conversations.

Posted

^ Truly connected people don't have mundane conversations, even about the weather. :p

 

I text all my people daily, and they all get a phone call too. One I see at work most days. :)

  • Like 1
Posted

In the previous rs we did have almost daily contact. And it was an overkill. Then again it was long distance.

 

Current rs it's still daily but far less intense. Sometimes it's just "how's your day going? "

Posted

I live w/my GF. Often my GF leaves before I'm up. One of us will text in the am to say good morning and have a great day. Then, in mid-afternoon we will check in with a how's your day. These are usually short exchanges. There a simple "thinking about you" text.

 

 

She'll then text when she's on her way home so I have an idea of when she'll arrive.

 

 

I personally think this kind of just checking in or thinking about youvtexting is appropriate. Now, if she was wanting to have conversations or vs versa, yea. That would be too much.

 

 

If we didn't live together and didn't see each other everyday, I would expect and want a text of phone call on the days we had off. I'd think it's odd if I didn't hear from my GF for 24 hours.

Posted

We text almost daily. Usually just a brief check in text, or he'll want to know if I'm planning to come over for the night. Otherwise, we're with each other from Thursday to Monday-ish. Sometimes a day will go by with no communication.

 

We call each other rarely, unless we need to hash out some logistical thing.

Posted

I only text or call my husband if I need him to pick something up from the store or if he needs me to grab deodorant or shampoo, etc when I'm at the store lol This is what it's all about when you have been married forever lol.

 

If I was newly dating a daily text or two is OK just to let me know they are still alive or get some flirting in.

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Posted

like i said at the start we texted alot but we have seen each other more so the texting has pretty much gone to the wayside since we spend so much time in person talking

  • Like 1
Posted
like i said at the start we texted alot but we have seen each other more so the texting has pretty much gone to the wayside since we spend so much time in person talking

 

It's not so much about how much or how often you talk, it's about the quality of the communication that counts.

  • Like 1
Posted

We live together so we don't text / call often unless there is a reason. Yesterday DH needed some info. If we are meeting after work some place other than home, we'll text a few hours before to confirm. If I drove him to the train station in the morning he'll text me when I need to pick him up but we don't just send each other random lovely dovey messages for no reason. Those are better in person.

Posted

Wow, the posters on this forum don't like a lot of contact do they...!

 

When I'm with somebody or on the road to a relationship with someone I like daily contact, on average a few texts across the day or a handful of texts is pretty much the least I'd expect unless a guy had the kind of job where he couldn't use his phone, had hobbies that meant he was totally outta range or whatever.

 

I'm far from clingy and wouldn't question not hearing from a partner all day as long as we spoke during the evening, but if someone was happy to go an entire day or more without speaking to me I would wonder how into me they were. When I like or start seriously dating a guy, I would only get with him if I was so excited by him and interested in him it was a struggle not to be in contact! When I like someone I can't wait to hear from them and vice versa.

 

If the conversation gets monotonous then you're really gonna struggle with somebody long term when you're living together. I live with my partner and we still text throughout the day, we hardly message properly but love sending each other snapchats. When one of us is off out without the other we might check in once or twice but on the whole just go have fun with friends. It's not about being clingy, it's about being interested. If a guy went a whole day without contacting me more than once or twice I'd move on. All couples I know are in contact daily, it wouldn't feel like much of a relationship to have days go by without even a text. Especially when most people are glued to their smartphones, and it takes so little effort to send a text.

  • Like 4
Posted

I need some form of communication daily but if we are in contact all day long, I feel stiffled. Just a "thinking about you" text will do. If a couple of days go by with no communication, I start to lose interest.

  • Like 1
Posted

It's funny because my husband and I text more now than when we were dating. We don't go crazy with it, but it's always daily, sometimes just crazy stuff to make each other laugh. When we were dating we would go a day or two without texting it wasn't a problem.

 

If what you're doing doesn't bother the person you're seeing and you guys have a good thing going I wouldn't worry about it. Just do what you're doing.

Posted

we used to text over 100 times a day. no joke. now we're down to a few dozen. if more than a few hours passes without a text one of us checks in...

Posted
Wow, the posters on this forum don't like a lot of contact do they...!

 

When I'm with somebody or on the road to a relationship with someone I like daily contact, on average a few texts across the day or a handful of texts is pretty much the least I'd expect unless a guy had the kind of job where he couldn't use his phone, had hobbies that meant he was totally outta range or whatever.

 

I'm far from clingy and wouldn't question not hearing from a partner all day as long as we spoke during the evening, but if someone was happy to go an entire day or more without speaking to me I would wonder how into me they were. When I like or start seriously dating a guy, I would only get with him if I was so excited by him and interested in him it was a struggle not to be in contact! When I like someone I can't wait to hear from them and vice versa.

 

If the conversation gets monotonous then you're really gonna struggle with somebody long term when you're living together. I live with my partner and we still text throughout the day, we hardly message properly but love sending each other snapchats. When one of us is off out without the other we might check in once or twice but on the whole just go have fun with friends. It's not about being clingy, it's about being interested. If a guy went a whole day without contacting me more than once or twice I'd move on. All couples I know are in contact daily, it wouldn't feel like much of a relationship to have days go by without even a text. Especially when most people are glued to their smartphones, and it takes so little effort to send a text.

 

If a partner is clearly demonstrating his love for you and making you feel secure in the relationship and a day goes by without talking, it's no big deal. If the partner isn't doing a good job of that, that's when missing a day becomes an issue for some people. And, so what if they don't call you and you are secure enough. You can call them. After a relationship is established, playing the game of "let them call me first" so I know they're still interested is almost disrespectful of the love and support they are demonstrating, if they are demonstrating it.

 

In the very beginning of a relationship more frequent contact is needed to help bolster the feeling of security between them until they get to know and understand each other on a deep enough level so as to make it less important to have that much frequency in contact.

Posted

I live with my boyfriend, so we don't communicate via text messages like we did before. We don't really feel the urge to text each other when we're out separately doing daily errands either. We trust each other. We know when each other will be back, and we don't need constantly texts to feel confident in the relationship we have.

 

 

A lot of people need verification of their romantic status, so they'll do all they can to feel appreciated by their partner. Even to the point of being very sappy via texts towards each other, and I also believe that this hints at some insecurities in the relationship. I mean, it's great to express feelings - but when you do it every single day, every chance you get, it sometimes screams LOVE ME, I'm desperate (IMO).

  • Like 1
Posted

All sounds pretty healthy to me OP! :)

 

My last ex turned out to be a constant texter. He would text me everyday, all day from 5.30am until midnight when he went to bed and on top of that expected an hour or two on the phone each night.

It was long distance but even so it was just impossible to keep up with.

He also never did calm down as time went on so number of texts never dwindled to a reasonable amount.

No amount of negotiation for a happy medium helped either.

 

 

LD is different but I still don't think daily texts are required.

 

I'd love to meet a guy my age who had a relaxed approach to texts

Posted
If a partner is clearly demonstrating his love for you and making you feel secure in the relationship and a day goes by without talking, it's no big deal. If the partner isn't doing a good job of that, that's when missing a day becomes an issue for some people. And, so what if they don't call you and you are secure enough. You can call them. After a relationship is established, playing the game of "let them call me first" so I know they're still interested is almost disrespectful of the love and support they are demonstrating, if they are demonstrating it.

 

In the very beginning of a relationship more frequent contact is needed to help bolster the feeling of security between them until they get to know and understand each other on a deep enough level so as to make it less important to have that much frequency in contact.

 

Oh I'm not talking about the guy having to always contact me, sorry if it came across that way. It doesn't matter who contacts who first, although ideally it's balanced. I know what you mean about being secure, in relationships where the guy has made me feel really off kilter and unsure of his affection then time going by without a message would make me increasingly anxious. But in a relationship that's great, it can get to the end of the workday and I realise that I haven't heard from him or gotten in touch and it's no big deal.

 

Either way though, if a guy was regularly going a day without contact that in itself would make me feel less secure and I'd lose interest. As I take an equal part in contacting my partners I guess the only way I'd realise it would be if I was suddenly the only person initiating each day, stopped initiating and noticed they didn't pick it up but I've honestly never had that happen. In a relationship where it's going well, both still into one another, it would be totally weird for me to not hear from or contact them in a whole day and night.

 

Weirdly before we moved in together we'd only have a few texts during the day for the most part, but since moving in together the contact has got much more. In the beginning it was me who liked texting most and was the initiator the majority of the time, but now it's my boyfriend. He is usually the initiator during the day but that's just because he has constant access to his phone and I don't. Like I say, not huge long conversations about life and the future, just funny or cute snapchats usually. I love snapchat for keeping in touch with someone while you're apart, but without the pressure of long texts and it takes seconds.

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