RA31411 Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 My wife and I have been together six years total and married for over two. We have a beautiful, funny, energetic baby girl, make good money and live in a vacation spot. We have many issues but most is my extremely demanding and overbearing mother in law. She controls all of her kids and her husband. • After our daughter was born, my wife started talking to my MIL constantly. They would keep me out of the loop on things with my daughter and she went to her mom for decisions on our daughter. • My MIL has always insisted that we spend every holiday at her home and on her time frame. She has gone as far to manipulate the times to try and mess up us spending time with my family on holidays. • My mother died on Thanksgiving. After Christmas, my wife told me that I wasn’t the usual considerate gift giver I was and it showed I didn’t care about her. (I gave her two gifts and $500 cash) • I have been told that my MIL said I was “jealous of my daughter and didn’t want her” • My wife went so far to tell me that the reason we were having problems is because my mother died and I wished it had been hers. (Three weeks after my mom’s death) • I gave my brother in law over $2,000 of furniture for his college apartment. The parents refused to thank me for it and the brother ended up selling some of it. • My wife insisted that I get my brother in law a job at my friend’s restaurant. Reluctantly, I did. He did an ok job but could be lazy at times. However, he would brag about how much money he made. During this time, he was telling his parents that my friend was giving him bad tables, hours, etc. and that he was broke. So the parents were forking over money to this kid every week. When tax time came, he had not saved any money and his parents had to pay his tax bill. They had an attorney send a letter to my friend threatening legal action and to turn him over to the Dept. of Labor if he didn’t change the W2. They then lied to me and said they never authorized the attorney to do that. The attorney just took it upon themselves after the conversation. (I should note that the BIL blew through $6,000 of inheritance in two months.) His parents premise was that my BIL was too responsible not to save money for taxes and if he was always telling them he was broke…then my friend, restaurant owner, was stealing from him. (He is 22 years old and they say he is a kid.) • Through the attorney ordeal my wife has backed her parents and her brother. I have made it clear that I would not stand in the way of them seeing my wife or daughter but I wanted nothing to do with them. My wife claimed I was overreacting. • Last week, I got to take my first vacation with my daughter since she was born in January 2014. My MIL called to see what my wife was doing and my wife told her we had rented a house at the beach. So two hours later, my in laws show up. After my MIL tried to get my daughter away from me while I was playing with her. I finally told my MIL off. My wife became angry with me and told me I was disrespectful to my MIL. My in laws trued to get my wife to take my child and leave with them. My wife considered it. Vacation ruined. So here I am. My wife refuses to stand up to her parents and tells me I am ridiculous for letting it get to me. Any advice?
Tayla Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 sincerely sorry about the loss of your mother. It impacts people and re aligns what is of value. you sound like a good husband and father. Limit the family time. This lady may be creating a wedge. Its up to you to be direct with her. Create a united front with your wife. and welcome to the Ls community.
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