FistOfTheNorthStar Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 Hello friends. Today I am accepting that I truly want nothing to do with my ex. It's strictly NC for me, however deep down inside I know that the hope lives on. Is this because I'm still in love with her? I'm not putting up a face or muse by saying that I don't want anything. I truly don't. I tell everyone to avoid mentioning her at all. At the same time I'm the one talking out loud how my thoughts linger. This sucks. -F
ravfour4 Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 Sounds like you're making solid progress. I too feel like I'm making progress but a small tiny piece of me still thinks - hey it'd be great if she randomly came back, made it all up to me in an extraordinary way and was the perfect gf for eternity. Another part of me thinks it would be great if I was a billionaire so eh, whatever I guess haha If you were with her for a while and it ended somewhat well or if you really felt like you had a deep connection or friendship, of course you'll feel a bit of this. But those feelings will fade as your mind and emotions progress. 1
Satu Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 "Projective identification is a term introduced by Melanie Klein to describe the process whereby in a close relationship, as between mother and child, lovers, or therapist and patient, parts of the self may in unconscious fantasy be thought of as being forced into the other person. While based on Freud's concept of psychological projection, projective identification represents a step beyond. In R.D. Laing's words, “The one person does not use the other merely as a hook to hang projections on. He/she strives to find in the other, or to induce the other to become, the very embodiment of projection”. Feelings which can not be consciously accessed are defensively projected into another person in order to evoke the thoughts or feelings projected." Emphasis mine. Source here.
Author FistOfTheNorthStar Posted June 11, 2015 Author Posted June 11, 2015 "Projective identification is a term introduced by Melanie Klein to describe the process whereby in a close relationship, as between mother and child, lovers, or therapist and patient, parts of the self may in unconscious fantasy be thought of as being forced into the other person. While based on Freud's concept of psychological projection, projective identification represents a step beyond. In R.D. Laing's words, “The one person does not use the other merely as a hook to hang projections on. He/she strives to find in the other, or to induce the other to become, the very embodiment of projection”. Feelings which can not be consciously accessed are defensively projected into another person in order to evoke the thoughts or feelings projected." Emphasis mine. Source here. I'm projecting the hope? 1
Satu Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 I'm projecting the hope? I think so. *I also think that you are projecting the love that you should feel for yourself onto her.*
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