JamesDraper Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Hello everybody, this is my 1st post here... Here's the deal - I was dating this very nice, beautiful, interesting girl, been seeing her for 4 months and we were going steady... I could say she was my girlfriend already... But the problem is that she seemed a little indifferent and distant since the beginning of the relationship, she was always busy, working hard and she didn't seem very eager to go out with me all the time, she did not use to text me at all, I used to do all the texting and calling, she NEVER initiated conversation with me, but apart from that our conversations were fine and things were fun when we used to go out together. However I was getting tired of her lack of interest so I started dating another girl. Things started getting more serious with girl #2 so I talked to girl #1 and told her I had met someone else and that although I wanted to still be friends with her, I had met someone interesting and I had moved on. Then she simply smiled and said "Wow I'm really happy you found a nice person. That's a very good thing! I wish you the best and good luck in your life!" Then after that we asked for the check and she kissed me on the cheek and left . The thing is... 2 days have passed by, she didn't say anything... I'm not someone looking for attention, I didn't do this to test her but now I wonder - has she ever cared about me? because her reaction just shows me she didn't give a **** about me at all... or maybe she's just a very mature person? Really, she didn't seem pissed, not a little bit... she's either: 1. not giving a **** about me 2. really mature 3. a very good actress What do you think?
ZiggyZoo Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 She's a mature woman, who wasn't as into the relationship as you were, so wasn't too hurt when it ended. She's respecting your wishes to be with this other woman, so isn't a part of your life any more. And as such, she has no need for further contact. 3
Torii Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 Hello everybody, this is my 1st post here... Here's the deal - I was dating this very nice, beautiful, interesting girl, been seeing her for 4 months and we were going steady... I could say she was my girlfriend already... But the problem is that she seemed a little indifferent and distant since the beginning of the relationship, she was always busy, working hard and she didn't seem very eager to go out with me all the time, she did not use to text me at all, I used to do all the texting and calling, she NEVER initiated conversation with me, but apart from that our conversations were fine and things were fun when we used to go out together. However I was getting tired of her lack of interest so I started dating another girl. Things started getting more serious with girl #2 so I talked to girl #1 and told her I had met someone else and that although I wanted to still be friends with her, I had met someone interesting and I had moved on. Then she simply smiled and said "Wow I'm really happy you found a nice person. That's a very good thing! I wish you the best and good luck in your life!" Then after that we asked for the check and she kissed me on the cheek and left . The thing is... 2 days have passed by, she didn't say anything... I'm not someone looking for attention, I didn't do this to test her but now I wonder - has she ever cared about me? because her reaction just shows me she didn't give a **** about me at all... or maybe she's just a very mature person? Really, she didn't seem pissed, not a little bit... she's either: 1. not giving a **** about me 2. really mature 3. a very good actress What do you think? Woman #1 is very mature. Even though she might have been interested in you a little bit, she did what any good woman with a good heart would do. She let you be with woman #2 that showed and expressed more romantic interest towards you than woman #1 did. A good woman wants you to be happy. A good woman will want you to take care of you first, and seek a relationship that is both secure and confidential. Woman #1 simply did what any person with an understanding mind would do, she allowed you to make a choice to better your lifestyle by choosing to be with woman #2 - happily. This was never about woman #1. This was about you, and what would make the most impact in your life. She knows this. 2
dumbass2 Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 Sounds like she handled it maturely. I'm sure she enjoyed dating you and her time with you, but it does appear that she may not have seen a future with you and therefore the reason for her "lack" of initiating. Your gut told you that she wasn't all the into you and it appears your gut was right. If you had done nothing, it probably was just a matter of time before she found someone and broke up with you. It sounds like you two never got to the point of any serious conversations about where the relationship was going. 1
jen1447 Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 There's a difference between not being too hung up on things and "not giving a sh*t." I think you're being unfair throwing her into the latter category. It sounds like she wasn't too into you, no, but you didn't tell us anything to make us think she was utterly careless and insensitive. It sounds like she handled it well.
GoBlue Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 There is a possibility that all three of your choices are present in one degree or another. In the end, the way she handled it was very mature and commendable. More romantic relationships that have no real chance of lasting should end this way. There is the possibility that she was hurt but she just didn't want to show it in front of you. Maybe she went home and had a cry but to do so in front of you would have surrendered any power she had left in the relationship. It's possible that she saw the inevitable end coming because anyone who is truly happy together has no need to look elsewhere to find attachment ( that is a reference to you dating girl #2). Why do you think that you are fixated on finding an answer to this question? Clearly you were not happy and moved on. You are the one who pursued someone else and then ended it with Girl #1. Does it just bother you that she didn't show any brokenness? You mentioned that you looked to Girl #2 because of a lack of attention from girl #1 in the first place. For that reason, her response couldn't have been that big of a surprise. This seems to be a mutual parting of ways done amicably and without drama. Hope all goes well with your new GF.
aloneinaz Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 There where major signs you were not paying attention to in girl one despite recognizing her lack of attention. If she never initiated and conversations with you, that was a biggie. Clearly she's wasn't emotionally invested in that relationship and was probably dating others on the side as well. You just beat her to the punch. Good for you to realize girl 1 wasn't going anywhere and moving onto girl 2. More people should do this when they KNOW the relationship isn't going anywhere and there significant other is doing the slow fade..
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