ashley.lucas Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 I just wanted to start by saying I'm 21 years old and me and my boyfriend broke up about a month ago. He broke up with me because of financial situations and because he wanted his freedom with friends and see hat life experiences are out there. He doesn't want to be with anyone right now just focus on himself. He still wants me to be his best friend but how is that possible when I'm hurting. He told me not to wait on him and be happy and move on but he tells me there's a chance we can get back together I asked him how much of a percentage and he said 25 right now but it can go up or down over time. But I guess I'm confused because he hasn't cut the cord yet he still texts me and checks on my Facebook asks who I hang with to make sure its not other guys and stinn hangs out with me he tells me he loves me all the time and misses me he says he's doing the right thing for him right now but then Its like he's second guessing himself and he came and sat by me 2 days ago when we were talking after he said all those things and was like God why am I losing the perfect girlfriend. We always talked about being together forever and having a family and growing old together he thinks the grass is greener on the other side right now but that gets old really fast. Keep in mind he lives right around the corner from me. I mean I am moving on in a sense to not sulk and stuff and I don't necessarily think of it as waiting around but I do love him with all my heart and if he comes back I will go back but we will have to talk. I was just wondering what y'all think of this and with all the evidence does it sound like he will come back I mean it does to me or am I just crazy? Thank you please don't be harsh on me.
Clarence_Boddicker Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Not to be mean, but you're a fool to stay in contact with him. Go full NC until you heal from the break up. He's a selfish douche. You deserve better. 2
ZiggyZoo Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 He's using you to ease his own transition to another relationship, and it's one of the sh*ttiest, most selfish things a dumper can do. He's hanging out to ease his own guilt at hurting you, and all its doing is prolonging your recovery. Any time someone says "Oh, in the future anything can happen. Maybe we'll be together..." it's just to blow smoke up the dumpee's ass and make them feel a little better, and make the dumper feel a lot better by not being *such* a bad guy. When in fact, false hope like that is the meanest thing to do to someone else. He'd actually show you more care and respect by being completely honest and saying that it isn't working for him, and he wants to see what else is out there. And then leaving you the hell alone to grieve in peace without him turning up and making everything confusing again. The bottom line is, if he wanted to be with you, he would be. And there's no way you should put your life on hold waiting for him. You said he won't cut the cord, and still texts and FB messages you. The truth is, he cut the cord when he broke it off, and it's now your job to block him. The only way you're going to recover and heal your broken heart is to cut him off and go NC. Look around on here, and see how damaging it is to try and be friends with someone you still love, but doesn't want more than friendship. You can't do it, it won't work out. Too bad that he still wants to be friends. It isn't about him anymore, this is about you. He's not looking out for your best interests anymore, so you're going to have to. I know this is NOT what you want to hear, and believe me, it sucks to say it. But I've been where you are, lots of us on here have. We want to help, and you WILL get through this.
Pastmen Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 You don't owe him anything. Don't feel like you're doing a bad thing but block him to be able to heal for yourself. You can't move on when he keeps contacting you and you keep thinking about him. I know it's hard because you're still hoping there is a chance but that chance is gone. And staying in contact with him won't help you nor will the chance that you will come back together any bigger.
mystikmind2005 Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 It is not good to cling to false hope, but; What happen with my friend years ago, he told his girlfriend almost exactly the same things word for word. He went of and dated a few girls but could not find what he was looking for and went back to her, they got married, have a family now. Possibly in this situation it might be nice for you to explore a rebound relationship (telling them this is so of course). This might give you the mental separation you need without actually having to completely break off contact.
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