Redemption04 Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Just wanted to share my most recent tinder date with you guys. I'd messaged this guy a little, never exchanged phone numbers, and he asked when he could take me out to coffee. We set a day. Then he changed it to frozen yogurt. I get there, and he's waiting in an out of sight part of the store. I decide to do the equality thing, and pay for my own yogurt first before meeting him. So I get my yogurt and go meet him around the corner. What greets me is (of course) NOT what I was expecting. After about 2 minutes of awkwardness and silence, I tell him, "You should probably go get yogurt." He looks at me, "I would, but I forgot my wallet." There's no way he forgot his wallet--in an early message he had told me how he was planning to buy something at a shop and we could meet there, too. I decided again to do the stupid but nice thing, and bought his yogurt. I'm already plotting my escape. While we're waiting in line, he asks me, "So, when was your last relationship?" Umm..Excuse me? I feel like that is a SUPER out of line question for just meeting someone. He then proceeds to tell me his "Relationships never last very long." I reply, (I have very dry humor and can often make fun without someone noticing), "Oh? I wonder why?" He then continues, "Well the last one was crazy. Just absolute crazy." NOTE TO MEN: If I hear ONE MORE of you tell me how your ex was "just crazy" I'm going to vomit. Maybe your ex wasn't the problem. Ever think it was you? There seems to be a disproportionately high number of "crazy women". We go to eat our yogurt, and after hearing how he dropped out of college, hates levis, etc, I say "I am so sorry but I have to run an errand for someone (in reality, it's my best friend texting me)." I get up to go. He's like "Oh I'll have to hit you up again on tinder sometime. He hits the clicker on his car to get in: He drives a brand new, convertible sports car. Yeah. He definitely didn't have his wallet. So that was an appalling one. I had another guy recently text me for like a week, wasting my time..Only to be swiping one night and find him on the "swipeable" screen. Meaning he had deleted the match. I texted him a screenshot. He told me, "Oh my tinder got completely deleted. I had to make a new one." Item #1: I don't care if you unmatch me. I found it kind of funny. What I now care about is you blatantly lied to me and think you can get away with it. Because Item#2: To delete your tinder matches, you would have to completely delete your tinder account, which is tough to do on purpose, and near impossible to do by accident. I think it's time to delete the app. I'm done with tinder. I think I'm just done with dating. 2
Popsicle Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 I think it may be time for you to take a break too.
Toodaloo Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 I think the yougert guy didn't fancy you and wanted to get out of there... What on earth do you expect from tinder? Yeah take a break... These incidences are not that funny just cringe worthy! 1
chicaboom Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 That did make me laugh. Thanks for sharing! I dont think it's necessarily Tinder that is a problem. I have honestly had great dates from tinder. It's hit or miss sometimes, but I can honestly say every date I have gone on from Tinder has been great to some degree. Definitely some awkward ones, but not overall bad. You just have to weed the weirdos out. Talk for a bit longer on Tinder. Dont give up! And don't take the deleting match thing to heart. It's just the way things go no biggie:) 1
Author Redemption04 Posted June 10, 2015 Author Posted June 10, 2015 I think the yougert guy didn't fancy you and wanted to get out of there... What on earth do you expect from tinder? Yeah take a break... These incidences are not that funny just cringe worthy! I would definitely agree, except he was already sitting upstairs (this store has like a loft), before he ever saw me, amping up for his "no wallet routhine". They are cringe worthy. And I don't feel like I've really changed--I met a really great guy on tinder at the beginning of the year. It's hard for me to believe--yet I'm starting to believe this is so--that he was one of the only good ones on there. I'm not dating differently, so the ****tier men I don't think are really my fault? I think it's just time to give up
toscaroscura Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 People bag on Tinder a lot, but I actually had WAY better luck than on POF and even a bit more luck than OKC. It's really what you make of it, who you are, how you conduct yourself, and what you allow. The site being used is of little consequence. Better luck next time, though! I too took a break from OLD; I get where you're coming from.
organizedchaos Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 People bag on Tinder a lot, but I actually had WAY better luck than on POF and even a bit more luck than OKC. It's really what you make of it, who you are, how you conduct yourself, and what you allow. The site being used is of little consequence. Better luck next time, though! I too took a break from OLD; I get where you're coming from. It's not Tinder, just dating in general. She could have had the same experience from any number of dating sites. I'm coming up on the one year anniversary with my gf I met on Tinder. 1
toscaroscura Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 It's not Tinder, just dating in general. She could have had the same experience from any number of dating sites. I'm coming up on the one year anniversary with my gf I met on Tinder. I liked Tinder because with the other sites, there's SO much information that I would overthink like CRAZY. But Tinder is more like seeing an interesting stranger in real life. You have a picture and a brief blurb and that's it, just like if you made small talk with someone at a party that caught your eye. You aren't privy to all of his stats and how he answers 1,500 personal questions. 3
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 OP I'm going to play the devils advocate here and say that you sabotaged things before they even began. You should have GREETED Him first before getting your yogurt. What you did was awkward (And somewhat rude), and he was probably planning his escape too! Don't get so hungup over the whole "equality" thing on a first date... Any guy worth his salt will offer to pay. If you REALLY want to pay, you can always offer, but for gods sake meet the guy first and then go get the yogurt TOGETHER. 2
maysj18 Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 I have had my Tinder profile deleted numerous times over being logged out of Facebook and then the SMS messaging thing not working. The only way to try again is to completely delete your account and start over. It's happened twice. It's a glitchy app. But yeah, I've been on some bad Tinder dates, but then some really good ones too. It's a hit or miss. Your story made me cringe tho!
aloneinaz Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 I think so many people get frustrated on OLD due to simply NOT having a phone conversation before ever wasting their time to get dressed and drive to meet them. To the OP, I guarantee you he would of displayed those same negative traits on the phone call that would of turned you off. You then wouldn't of wasted the time (and money for yogurt) meeting this guy. I learned quickly with OLD to NEVER meet anyone without have a nice, enjoyable phone conversation with them where I felt some chemistry. I agree that is a major turnoff when you meet someone and all they do is bitch about their crazy exes.. However, I've ran across several women who do the same (on the first phone call) and never met them.
Author Redemption04 Posted June 10, 2015 Author Posted June 10, 2015 Barcode--I would like to believe you, but I know with certain just based on several other cues during the 20 minutes I wasted with him, that had I gone up to meet him pre-buying my own yogurt the outcome would have been the exact same. AZ--My problem with that is, there is the other end of the spectrum: I've exchanged phone numbers, and then it becomes this "oh here, let me text you every day for 3 weeks before ever bothering to try to schedule a date". Yeah, that's awesome. To have a male pen pal I've never met. I'm not on any of the OLD sites. Just tinder. Maybe part of the issue is I live in a small town: There's not much to choose from. The last time I went to the big city I decided to open the app and see, and I couldn't believe the variety of men there.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 Barcode--I would like to believe you, but I know with certain just based on several other cues during the 20 minutes I wasted with him, that had I gone up to meet him pre-buying my own yogurt the outcome would have been the exact same. AZ--My problem with that is, there is the other end of the spectrum: I've exchanged phone numbers, and then it becomes this "oh here, let me text you every day for 3 weeks before ever bothering to try to schedule a date". Yeah, that's awesome. To have a male pen pal I've never met. I'm not on any of the OLD sites. Just tinder. Maybe part of the issue is I live in a small town: There's not much to choose from. The last time I went to the big city I decided to open the app and see, and I couldn't believe the variety of men there. Just because it wouldn't work out anyway doesn't excuse what you did though It's more polite to meet him first before getting your yogurt/drinks whatever... The way you acted made it look like you were snubbing him. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 My favorite line of the story - "What greets me is obviously not what I was expecting" :laugh::laugh: Like you're describing a thing and not a person. So you should definitely expand and explain what was different than what you were expecting about the guy. But yeah, that's pretty funny he'd claim not to have his wallet to skate on a $5 frozen yogurt and then get into a sports car. I wonder if he's using the car to over compensate? 1
Gaeta Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 I think the polite thing to do when you meet someone is to wait for them than order together. The very few times I got to the coffee shop and the guy had already ordered it gave me a bad impression. I always ask when was your last relationship lol, it's a date for a potential romance so yes those questions are allowed as early as you wish. Yes it's possible for someone to forget their wallet. If I can forget my phone for sure some people can forget their wallet. It's like you went there already annoyed at him. 1
cessna Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 Am I the only one who didn't find this hilariously funny? I agree with Gaeta, ordering before even greeting him is kind of rude and disrespectful and his question about your last relationship was perfectly justified. You're on a date to find a potential partner, nothing wrong in asking these sorts of things. On the flip side you have every right to not answer any question for whatever reason. The wallet thing too... Could be true. I've forgotten my wallet on occasions. No idea what him driving a nice car has to do with it either... I have a fairly nice car and it starts and drives perfectly without my wallet. I normally use the key... I get the impression you went into this date with a bad attitude from the start and it went downhill from there. 3
SoftViolin Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 Well, yeah - maybe it is plausible he forgot his wallet. But c'mon - that's a long shot. You are heading out on a date - things that you check you have with you are the (sports ) car keys and the wallet. Even as a woman I am always paranoid that I will forget my wallet and check that I have it. So I will agree it would have been a polite thing to go up to him and order together. Then, if he indeed forgot his wallet, they could have done something else. I agree with Gaeta, a couple times it happened to me that on a first date in a coffee shop my date ordered without me, it turned me off as well. Then it feels like an interview. But let's give OP a break - first dates are awkward, maybe there was something in their prior exchange to make her feel uneasy - in any case, a polite thing on his part would have been to offer to go for a walk instead (she can eat her yogurt as they walk), and not to allow her to buy him yogurt, especially with the good old wallet line. Relationship question - yes, not that strange for a first date, but while you are standing in line asking your date to buy you yogurt, because you forgot your wallet? Whatever his deal was, he is definitely not a class act and OP deserves better. It's ok, plenty of fish in the sea, even if it looks dry at times... 1
SunnySide0418 Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 I would definitely agree, except he was already sitting upstairs (this store has like a loft), before he ever saw me, amping up for his "no wallet routhine". They are cringe worthy. And I don't feel like I've really changed--I met a really great guy on tinder at the beginning of the year. It's hard for me to believe--yet I'm starting to believe this is so--that he was one of the only good ones on there. I'm not dating differently, so the ****tier men I don't think are really my fault? I think it's just time to give up Why would you agree to meet someone without talking on the phone first? You can weed out a lot of mismatches that way imo.
guest569 Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 Hmm i once arrived to meet a guy who was already drinking without me and did the same "aren't you going to get a drink?" I found it rude. You should meet, greet, then get your yoghurt. He sounds like a right dud anyway.
green_tea Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 Why would you agree to meet someone without talking on the phone first? You can weed out a lot of mismatches that way imo. I almost always meet without talking on the phone...I hate talking to a complete stranger on the phone. It's much easier to talk over a coffee or drink. I usually meet them during my work day for a quick coffee so it's not a huge inconvenience anyway. 3
candie13 Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 well, sometimes men do that - delete on purpose their tinder account to have brand new access to the woman they may have refused in the past. If the guy is on Tinder since a long time, he may feel he doesn't have enough fresh "meat". don't take it personally. As for the yogurt - great lesson. to YOU. Next time, you will look him deep in the eyes, smile and say "well, raincheck until you get your wallet?". learn learn learn !!! 1
joseb Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 Arrived in work today and guess what I forgot for like the first time ever? My wallet! It happens. 1
Gaeta Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 Was it that bad that she paid his yogurt? I pay on first dates sometimes. Especially if the man drove all the way to my suburb to meet me. It did happen once the man I was meeting forgot his wallet, I laughed it off and gladly paid his coffee. I don't think a man would set up something like forgetting his wallet just to save spending $1.80 on a large coffee.
SoftViolin Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 Was it that bad that she paid his yogurt? I pay on first dates sometimes. Especially if the man drove all the way to my suburb to meet me. It did happen once the man I was meeting forgot his wallet, I laughed it off and gladly paid his coffee. I don't think a man would set up something like forgetting his wallet just to save spending $1.80 on a large coffee. I don't think it's a big deal she paid, nor that it is bad to pay on first dates, especially if someone makes a long drive. Just in this particular situation sounds like neither one of them was into the other, so there are a lot of should've/could've scenarios. I don't think that, as a polite person, she had any choice but to cover him once he said he forgot wallet. IMO it's no big deal too, not like it's that much. Just from the OP's perspective leaves you with a bit of sour taste - not a great date, she didn't even have a good time chatting with him, and it ended on a low note.
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