Fitgirl2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 I work at a gym, he's a member who everyone thinks likes me. He's bought me chocolate 3 times, always talks to me, flirts, stares, acts nervous, fidgets, shows off and asks the other staff specifically for me. He ALWAYS initiates any interaction with me. I sometimes initiate but 99% of the time it's him who finds me. He's come close to me, would brush up against me, one time he put his hand around my waist and guided me, we were both smiling at eschother but then he acted all nervous and quiet. One time I was on the phone in my office & he was trying to get my attention by jumping up & down, kicking waving his arms ect. I didn't see him but a front desk girl did and another member. They said he was at it for awhile & was determined to get me. One of the recoetionists who him and I are friendly with told him Her and myself wanted to take him out for drinks for his bday. He loved the idea, got excited, but changed it into going to a nice fancy expensive restaurant for dinner where he would be paying to take us out. He was super excited & wanted to wear a suit cause he said he looked good in one. We had set it all up but then his uncle died and he had to fly out to california for 2 weeks. When he returned he kept asking me if I missed him,, if the gym was boring without him ect, he even said he couldnt wait to come back bc certain girls were missing him ( he meant it in a funny way, not condescending) As he was leaving that day he kept joking and asked how the gym was without him here, if it sucked, how the vibe was different no one to bug me lol I laughed & joked with him but he was acting super nervous like he wanted to tell me something. I found out from the trainer who trains him that he wont be in for a week cause he hurt himself. He friended me on facebook 2 months ago, I was wondering if it would sound too creepy/too forward/look too weird if I sent him a message saying "No superman = no fun lol" Superman is an on going inside joke between me and him. He loves it when I call him that. But women aren't supposed to make the first move and I don't want to do anything to turn him off from me but at the same time I want him to know I'm interested too.
Toodaloo Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Do it. Its complimentary, fun and will cheer him up. Sometimes you just have to be blunt and say something along the lines of "Are you ever going to ask me out?" Don't forget that chaps face a hack of a lot of rejection ALL the time from women so it is really hard for them to just come out with it and say it sometimes... Its good to give them a very unsubtle hint that basically says "If you ask me out you will not be rejected"... Makes it easier for them... 1
PegNosePete Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 In general, absolutely nothing wrong with a woman making the first move. But... I work at a gym, he's a member ... if you value your job I would recommend applying brakes ASAP. Does your employer have a policy regarding dating customers?
Toodaloo Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 In general, absolutely nothing wrong with a woman making the first move. But... ... if you value your job I would recommend applying brakes ASAP. Does your employer have a policy regarding dating customers? Devil is always in the detail... If you are already organising stuff out of work though it should be fine... Just check first.
mystikmind2005 Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 ... if you value your job I would recommend applying brakes ASAP. Does your employer have a policy regarding dating customers? In a modern world it is easy to forget there are still a few archaic attitudes that seem to have burrowed in like ticks and no one bothers challenging them.
PegNosePete Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 In a modern world it is easy to forget there are still a few archaic attitudes that seem to have burrowed in like ticks and no one bothers challenging them. I'm sure the knowledge that she is challenging an attitude, will be a great consolation to the OP, as she is waiting in line at the job centre, having been fired for inappropriate fraternization with customers.
Lokin4AReason Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 you should, it would be nice for a change =0)
ExpatInItaly Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Normally, I would say go for it. But if this is the same guy from your previous thread, I wouldn't bother. He seems a bit off and coupled his previous comments about being done with all women (or whatever the wording was, exactly) would have turned me off. Also, in your other thread you said the reason he re-arranged the dinner was because he scheduled back surgery. In this thread, you state that it was because his uncle died. Did he change his story, or did I miss something? 2
Toodaloo Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Normally, I would say go for it. But if this is the same guy from your previous thread, I wouldn't bother. He seems a bit off and coupled his previous comments about being done with all women (or whatever the wording was, exactly) would have turned me off. Also, in your other thread you said the reason he re-arranged the dinner was because he scheduled back surgery. In this thread, you state that it was because his uncle died. Did he change his story, or did I miss something? Seems like the rest of us may have???!!!
normal person Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 A woman making the first move is totally fine in my book, even necessary. In today's society there's a lot of stigma assigned to men who give the least bit of unwanted attention. I only go out with women who make the first move or make it obvious that they want me to.
fitnessfan365 Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Normally, I would say go for it. But if this is the same guy from your previous thread, I wouldn't bother. He seems a bit off and coupled his previous comments about being done with all women (or whatever the wording was, exactly) would have turned me off. Also, in your other thread you said the reason he re-arranged the dinner was because he scheduled back surgery. In this thread, you state that it was because his uncle died. Did he change his story, or did I miss something? Good post and I agree. If this was a guy who seemed relatively normal and just a bit shy to fully make a move, I'd say go for it too. However, based on what you've said about this guy in the other thread, he seems REALLY off. My advice? Avoid this guy all together as he seems like trouble.
Gary S Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 While it's true that guys ask out more often, who the heck told you women were never supposed to make the first move? As long as you know the guy is interested and won't reject you, what have you got to loose? The guy bought you three gifts, how much more of a clue do you need?! Do you smell the coffee?! Yup, it's a coffee date!
Clarence_Boddicker Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 It's 2015, not 1915 or before. Who says you're not supposed to initiate contact with guys?
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 Well the fact that this guy has been initiating conversations with you, I'm sure he would appreciate some more forward reciprocation, he was forward with you first so why not you be forward with him next?
LookAtThisPOst Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 No offense, I just get a kick out of posts from women wondering if they text first that it's considered "desperate" lol. It's almost always the men that have a MAJOR concern about their texting/contacting frequencies/methods with women...as it's the women always doing the blowing off and choosing to respond to a man. Men will likely lunge at the phone when the phone call comes from a woman they've interacted with. LOL (Just being facetious, but you know what I mean I work at a gym, he's a member who everyone thinks likes me. He's bought me chocolate 3 times, always talks to me, flirts, stares, acts nervous, fidgets, shows off and asks the other staff specifically for me. He ALWAYS initiates any interaction with me. I sometimes initiate but 99% of the time it's him who finds me. He's come close to me, would brush up against me, one time he put his hand around my waist and guided me, we were both smiling at eschother but then he acted all nervous and quiet. One time I was on the phone in my office & he was trying to get my attention by jumping up & down, kicking waving his arms ect. I didn't see him but a front desk girl did and another member. They said he was at it for awhile & was determined to get me. One of the recoetionists who him and I are friendly with told him Her and myself wanted to take him out for drinks for his bday. He loved the idea, got excited, but changed it into going to a nice fancy expensive restaurant for dinner where he would be paying to take us out. He was super excited & wanted to wear a suit cause he said he looked good in one. We had set it all up but then his uncle died and he had to fly out to california for 2 weeks. When he returned he kept asking me if I missed him,, if the gym was boring without him ect, he even said he couldnt wait to come back bc certain girls were missing him ( he meant it in a funny way, not condescending) As he was leaving that day he kept joking and asked how the gym was without him here, if it sucked, how the vibe was different no one to bug me lol I laughed & joked with him but he was acting super nervous like he wanted to tell me something. I found out from the trainer who trains him that he wont be in for a week cause he hurt himself. He friended me on facebook 2 months ago, I was wondering if it would sound too creepy/too forward/look too weird if I sent him a message saying "No superman = no fun lol" Superman is an on going inside joke between me and him. He loves it when I call him that. But women aren't supposed to make the first move and I don't want to do anything to turn him off from me but at the same time I want him to know I'm interested too.
LookAtThisPOst Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 A woman making the first move is totally fine in my book, even necessary. In today's society there's a lot of stigma assigned to men who give the least bit of unwanted attention. I only go out with women who make the first move or make it obvious that they want me to. I remember talking to a married male friend of mine when I was frustrated with dating and said something like, "That's it, from now on, I'll let them make the first move" His response, "Then expect to wait forever!"
Recommended Posts