Jersey1985 Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 I dated this girl for 3 months.. Then just ignored me and wouldn't answer my texts for whatever reason. Didn't hear from her at all, till yesterday.. She msg me and said she bailed on me because she felt i deserved better, that she really miss me. Had to do what she had to do… Would you take her back? Should I just let her msg me and setup a date again? or just try to work things out and be myself and do whatever i feel, contact her if i want and don't play the game of wait for her, to msg me, etc...
Jame22 Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 I dated this girl for 3 months.. Then just ignored me and wouldn't answer my texts for whatever reason. Didn't hear from her at all, till yesterday.. She msg me and said she bailed on me because she felt i deserved better, that she really miss me. Had to do what she had to do… Would you take her back? Should I just let her msg me and setup a date again? or just try to work things out and be myself and do whatever i feel, contact her if i want and don't play the game of wait for her, to msg me, etc... You're obviously her 2nd choice. I wouldn't take her back for anything other than a FWB relationship. I would either ignore her or invite her over for drinks at your place. 4
CarrieT Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Then just ignored me and wouldn't answer my texts for whatever reason. Didn't hear from her at all, till yesterday.. . She found someone else in the interim and didn't have the guts to tell you the truth. Would you take her back? Nope. She was rude and inconsiderate. Why would you invite that back into your life? 1
minime13 Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 I dated this girl for 3 months.. Then just ignored me and wouldn't answer my texts for whatever reason. Didn't hear from her at all, till yesterday.. She msg me and said she bailed on me because she felt i deserved better, that she really miss me. Had to do what she had to do… Would you take her back? Should I just let her msg me and setup a date again? or just try to work things out and be myself and do whatever i feel, contact her if i want and don't play the game of wait for her, to msg me, etc... The line she gave you - she felt you deserved better - means that she was playing you while dating. Or cheating on you. Or something that made her feel guilty. You want to go back for seconds? Go for it, I guess. She should probably fess up to what that line means, though, and actually do more than just saying she misses you to get that privilege. 3
Popsicle Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 I dated this girl for 3 months.. Then just ignored me and wouldn't answer my texts for whatever reason. Didn't hear from her at all, till yesterday.. She msg me and said she bailed on me because she felt i deserved better, that she really miss me. Had to do what she had to do… Would you take her back? Should I just let her msg me and setup a date again? or just try to work things out and be myself and do whatever i feel, contact her if i want and don't play the game of wait for her, to msg me, etc... No way. Ignore her. 3
aloneinaz Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 At only 3 months of dating, you can't be too emotionally invested in her. Clearly, you were her second choice and will probably always be. I wouldn't take her back either. What you could do is see her again while you're continuing to find someone who wants to be your 1st choice. Use her as a "fill gap" like she's trying to do to you. I've done that in my dating life. A girl I dated for a short while vanished on me for probably someone else. Then reappeared when it didn't work out w/whoever. I was dating anyone serious at the time so I went out with her again and enjoyed the sex while continuing to find someone else. I think we both knew we were just using each other as a fill gap. We both went on to other relationships.
Author Jersey1985 Posted June 10, 2015 Author Posted June 10, 2015 I don't think she was dating anyone when she was seeing me, besides me. After she left, i saw her on a plenty of fish, which is weird.
minime13 Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 I don't think she was dating anyone when she was seeing me, besides me. After she left, i saw her on a plenty of fish, which is weird. Then why did she feel you deserved better?
minime13 Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Im not sure i don't get that Well, I would suggest you have her explain that before anything else. Then she needs to tell you why she wants to try again, instead of just "I miss you." To me, she felt you deserved better because she was doing something she felt some guilt over. I don't know what, but that's just not something someone says without reason.
MovingOnIsHard Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Im not sure i don't get that She's saying that as an excuse so you won't see her in a negative light.. Ultimately wanting you to be her backup
Jame22 Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 (edited) I don't think she was dating anyone when she was seeing me, besides me. After she left, i saw her on a plenty of fish, which is weird. Doesn't matter, the bottom line is that she was blowing you off. Not only that but she gave you a BS excuse to try to keep you on the string. You don't necessarily need to burn any bridges, and I think you should at least respond to her but do not take this girl on any more dates, at least not anytime soon. Edited June 10, 2015 by Jame22
PegNosePete Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 she felt i deserved better In my experience, when someone says this, they are right. You should listen to her. You deserve better. Move on. 1
Novo Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 You shouldn't. You're her second best/she's been playing you and a relationship only 3 months old where this is happening really isn't worth pursuing.
Redhead14 Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 I dated this girl for 3 months.. Then just ignored me and wouldn't answer my texts for whatever reason. Didn't hear from her at all, till yesterday.. She msg me and said she bailed on me because she felt i deserved better, that she really miss me. Had to do what she had to do… Would you take her back? Should I just let her msg me and setup a date again? or just try to work things out and be myself and do whatever i feel, contact her if i want and don't play the game of wait for her, to msg me, etc... What was the relationship status when she went silent? What other stressors were there in her life surrounding the relationship? Were things good between you up to the point where she went silent and how long was the silence? If you still have strong interest in her and YOU want to see if it can work, simply hit the reset button and start from the beginning. Date her casually, don't become intimate with her for some time and observe whether her investment in you is stronger now. If it's not, end it once and for all. But, let her contact you for now. It's the only way you'll know she is invested enough and more serious. She "ended" it with you, she needs to do the "work" of rebuilding it. You don't know the details as to why she went silent. Her saying she isn't good enough for you was just a cover up, unless she's demonstrated to you in the past that she is insecure in general, doesn't have her life together or some other thing that causes her to be unhappy with herself in general. Something in her life distracted her from your relationship. It could have been a life event, another person she was interested in. But you don't know. Until you talk to her and get specifics, I'd just be careful.
Author Jersey1985 Posted June 11, 2015 Author Posted June 11, 2015 We had a good relationship when we were dating. Before she bailed she actually planned the date we were suppose to go on, but she bailed that day.. I don't hate her, i just wanted to know why she just plain out ignored me. I want to date her again, but do i just let her do all the texting or setting stuff up? Don't ask just let her ask the questions.
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