FistOfTheNorthStar Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 I guess I should be posting on here more because I am coping now, well after the breakup hahaha. Today was a rough day for me after my whole crying thing last night on my way home from work. My mind just decided to bring back something that did bother me about my ex, something that hurt me but my drug set it aside. I remember one time she let me go through her phone and she was talking to this guy whom she had gotten intimate with once, long story short, he was trying to get back in her pants and she was saying no no. A short time later this same guy was kicked out of his apartment and needed a place to stay for him and his pregnant gf. So my ex decided to be generous and let them stay. Boy was I uncomfortable. A lot of things made me uncomfortable, I disliked her line of work, but it's how she made money and it boosted her self esteem. When she left me, it felt like she gathered the whole time and just threw it all out. I lifted her out of a bad area and got her in a prospering side, I wanted to help her find a job, go back to school, learn all life skills and raise her child. He felt like he was my own, he even called me his own superhero. I left so much behind so it would remind her of what I did for her. Selfish of me I know. Why do we let so much pain in when we are in love? I let it happen for so freaking long. In the end, I ended up VERY disappointed. I had my hopes high in the sky that this was the one, she would be the one to hold my heart and never let it shatter. She promised me that she would never let me go. However, some promises are just broken. This is my pain. Will she ever come to realize all the good I did for her? All the pain I went through? Will she ever cry for me? The most painful thought is no. But why should I care? She left me in the dirt. As one of my favorite songs go "Every time they pushed us aside, We got back up again, Yeah we made it through the rain, Just to live another day without them." -F
DexterLS Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Listen mate, here's the harsh truth. She might realise it or not. Even though she may realise how much you did for her, that doesn't mean she is coming back. I understand completely what you are going through. I am in the same boat but the only thing we can do right now is fully let go of them and stick with NC. This is how we are going to heal. I am positive someone better will come along for you. Please don't break NC and be strong! Good luck buddy!
Author FistOfTheNorthStar Posted June 10, 2015 Author Posted June 10, 2015 Thanks man. Yeah I'm not exactly hoping for her to come back. I feel this way but deep inside I don't want her back. I'm just hurt because I feel like I'm the only one suffering from the loss. If so, it doesn't matter. I'm still moving forward in life and doing me. She lost it all, I just lost some time and money. Again thanks Dex.
DexterLS Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Thanks man. Yeah I'm not exactly hoping for her to come back. I feel this way but deep inside I don't want her back. I'm just hurt because I feel like I'm the only one suffering from the loss. If so, it doesn't matter. I'm still moving forward in life and doing me. She lost it all, I just lost some time and money. Again thanks Dex. You are hurt because you love her deeply. It's perfectly normal to feel this way. However, you have to realise this is just a temporary phase. You will get better. Just have some faith and be patient
Recommended Posts