smackie9 Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Most, but not all male cheaters cheat because men in general like variety....some just use porn to have an outlet instead of going for irl. So yes lust could be a reason, but women can do the same. Most, not all, female cheaters cheat because yes attention, to feel special mostly because of low self esteem, or feeling neglected in their relationship. The common denominator is that cheating is an escape. What they are escaping from varies. It can be from boredom, crappy sex, neglect, abuse, loneliness, etc.
carhill Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Lots of married/coupled people find other people attractive, meaning emotionally and sexually stimulating. That's part of being human. The 'cheater' part comes in when they pursue those attractions through a conscious choice to deceive. That's an affirmative act. It doesn't just happen. Think about the last time your penis 'just fell' into a vagina. It simply doesn't work that way. Neither does emotional 'sex'. It's a whole bunch of choices, each made voluntarily, to end up at cheaterville. All a person needs to do is change one or a few of those choices and nothing happens. Infidelity avoided. The folks who consistently state they'd 'never cheat' already have a firm grasp on which choices to make and do so consistently, each day, building on a pattern of choice-making where it becomes entrenched. Can a cheater do the same? IMO, yes they can. Want to? Different kettle of fish.
Author deadelvis Posted June 10, 2015 Author Posted June 10, 2015 I think I am actually understanding the psychological reasoning behind why my GF cheated on her ex. He didn't want to have sex with her, ever, and she gorgeous (I suspect he is gay). And although I'm sure getting laid played a part in it, I would guess it was more about feeling wanted and sexually desired. While of course a woman doesn't need to sleep with someone to feel desired, (she gets hit on by men constantly) there is probably something in the act of having sex that fulfills that sense of being desired much more deeply than just flirting.
Author deadelvis Posted June 10, 2015 Author Posted June 10, 2015 ...Think about the last time your penis 'just fell' into a vagina. It simply doesn't work that way... But I will say, even as a man there have been some times when my virtue was really put to the test. When a beautiful woman throws herself at you it's really difficult not to "fall in" her vagina. And being a beautiful woman means you have guys doing everything in their power to "fall in" your vagina, so all it takes is a moments lapse of judgement. I think male cheating is probably more premeditated or opportunistic, while female cheating is probably more a moment of ethical weakness combined with wanting to feel desired/wanted/attention.
jen1447 Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 ...you are a little too late to get involved in this... if you find out that he is cheating on her, or it even looks like he is doing something wrong... you will punch his lights outagreed. the last part goes without saying. Word of caution to the punch backers - just bc your position is 'righteous' doesn't mean you'll win the fight. There's nothing that looks worse than a man standing up for a woman's dignity by getting his ass thoroughly kicked, or a philanderer beating the ass of their fling's bereaved spouse. Been there done that lol, just trust me. If you're not the right person for that job, don't attempt it based solely on your motivation.
Author deadelvis Posted June 10, 2015 Author Posted June 10, 2015 I was just kidding with that post, but it does help deter potential dudes when you're big and look like an ex-convict. at least I have that going
jen1447 Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 At least until the little mousey guy is revealed to be an MMA fighter.
Author deadelvis Posted June 10, 2015 Author Posted June 10, 2015 I'm not worried about anything yet. It's down the road that I worry about. But thats another problem for another day.
Spectre Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 I cheated once. Then I got cheated on. I'll never cheat again. Just curious..if you'd never been cheated on, wouldn't you still have your "I will never cheat again" stance? Or was it the act of being cheated on that made you decide that?
sandylee1 Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 I wouldn't want a serial cheater dating my close friend. The sex was important to him, so he should have ended it with his GF or asked for an open relationship. Cheating on that level is a character flaw . All it takes is his next partner having a non sexual period and he'll be at it again He should tell a new GF about his cheating and see if she'd still be interested .
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