Magnet Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Hi guys- I'm back! 6 months out and what a 6 months. The last time I was on these forums, I was in a pretty dark place. But now, I feel so much better. I managed to turn it around. Here's what I did. First of all, I got a new job and left for another city. I quit smoking and doing drugs. I took up running. I ran a marathon abroad in Barcelona. I went to Milan and visited new places. I started dating other girls- and got some pretty good sex I bought a ton of useful and interesting books and started reading and learning new things. I started setting goals and putting myself in new situations. I improved my relationships with people around me. I did 100 Happy Days on Instagram and it worked. I learnt what made me happy and kept doing it. My summer is now fully planned with exciting and fun things to do. I am happier, stronger and more content. I value my life so much. I'm making the most of it now. I'll admit- during this time, I still thought of my ex many times. I started REALLY hating her back in January- I got really mad when she and her new BF gatecrashed a good friend of mine's birthday party. It turned very ugly and I had no choice to leave. After, f*ck that, that's it, this is not the person I loved. And I went forward. And did the things above. But still, I wondered how she was doing- where she was, if she was okay. I wondered, was she really going to last with this new dude? Was she going to marry him? Would I be cool with that....Eventually, I heard from the grapevine about her, that she'd broken up with the dude that she went into a rebound relationship. And after that, I felt a second wave of grief. It was as if I'd stopped the grieving process prematurely by hating her. I allowed myself to feel the emotions. I felt sad, I missed her. They were my emotions and I was allowed to have them and still be happy with my life. But I'd had to admit- I still loved her in a way. Last weekend, I saw her at a party. She came to me and said hello. I said hello. Luckily, a friend pulled me away before I talked to her for too long. I felt different. My knees were weak- I had butterflies in my stomach. This wasn't supposed to happen. Later that night, she came up to me and asked if I wanted to talk. I said I did. We went to a corner of the nightclub. She said she had written a long message wanting to send it but preferred to talk to me face to face. She said she was sorry for what happened in January and that she couldn't bear it if I died and she hadn't apologised. She asked after my family. I asked after her family. We exchanged news. She told me that she still loved me and missed me. She still thought of me often. She brought up the symbols and the good times of our relationship. I said, well, I still love you and I still think about you. But if we hadn't broken up I wouldn't be where I am now. I told her that I wasn't angry about her breaking up with me. I was angry at her for just going into another relationship straightaway. She said she hadn't been able to grieve for me because she'd gone straight into another relationship. I told her, now please stay single, please just concentrate on yourself, chase your dreams. Be happy on your own. It's done me wonders. We hugged really tightly for a long time. She kissed me on the cheek. I held her head tightly. Then came just a moment when we couldn't say anymore. Then I carried on with the party with my friends. I don't think I said goodbye. Now I admit, I feel a bit screwed up. I wish that conversation had and hadn't happened. Hearing her say 'I still love you' really hit me in the stomach. I'll keep doing what I've been doing. I know I *will* be happy because I am and I have a great life now. But I do miss her. And I kind of feel, well, she's still part of me. I want to contact her, but I won't. I think, after what happened, she has to contact me.
ravfour4 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Great story. It's funny, being on here for a few months you see a lot of these psycho ex gfs turn back into normal people after a while. It's crazy how emotional love can make both people in a relationship. I look forward to maybe having a moment like this with my ex down the line, I'm sure I will be new and improved and as handsome as ever and I'm confident she'll be stuck where she is, if not worse. Although, I wouldn't want all the confusion you are ensuing right now. Def don't contact her unless it's a brief "nice to see you last night". If she all of a sudden really loves you again, she'll be back and then you'll have to decide if she's worthy of your new and improved self. The answer is likely no. 1
Yummm Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 It's simple buddy, strict NC and try not to encounter her again. Re-read your post, look how much you have achieved and how happy you have become over the last 6 months.. It's amazing! You had a 2.5 year relationship and after 6 months achieved this much, so kudos to you my man. You clearly don't need her in your life, you had great sex with other women, hopefully learnt what qualities to look for in your next relationship!(somebody who won't drop you for their job....) It's only been 6 months, surely you still have feelings for her, but that does NOT mean you want her and the relationship back. She left you and went into the arms of another guy, let it be. Stay posting if you need to, but nice story bro! 1
DexterLS Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Hey there, First of all, you should be proud of yourself for quickly turning this situation around! Keep up with the good work. Are you looking for reconciliation with your ex? I don't know why you would want that: I read your other threads but in case you still want to go ahead, I would suggest to let her contact you. All the best.
Simon Phoenix Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Def don't contact her unless it's a brief "nice to see you last night". Don't even do this. You made a good impression, leave it as the impression. No lame "checking in". The ball is in her court. 3
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