Jas_in_cali Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 (edited) I've been dating my bf for a bit over 2 years and that's the reason he came up with when breaking up last week and that he couldn't take it anymore that I never acknowledge when it's my mistake at all. I admit it. Being proud, saying the words ''I'm sorry'' is too embarrassing for me and only once did I said that word in my relationship but with a struggle (stuttering a bit). The other times I would just try to do something special and pretend it didn't happen. But still, I think that was too much to break up over. Would you all end a long-term relationship over this? Just because your gf or bf has trouble apologizing and doesn't like being proven wrong? I've always had that issue ever since I was a kid; I just wouldn't feel ok saying sorry. In my mind that's accepting getting defeated, embarrassing. Edited June 9, 2015 by Jas_in_cali
autumnnight Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 I wouldn't be in a relationship with anyone who wouldn't take responsibility for their actions and tell me they were sorry if they hurt me or did something wrong. That is a HUGE character red flag. 6
d0nnivain Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 It's a pattern with you. Even when you hurt his feelings or <gasp!> know that you were wrong you won't soothe the hurt. He doesn't want to go through life never hearing you express concern for his feelings. If you refused to say I love you but instead showed him in so many way that you cared, some people may still break up because they need to words. 5
Timshel Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Yeah, I know someone like that. It's odd to me not to say it because it is only acknowledging a person's feelings so that you can move on. I don't get that.
Keenly Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 I've been in many situations where a girlfriend would do something really lame, for example start an argument over nothing, make a huge deal about something stupid, and then ignore it the next day and act like nothing happened. It showed me that she had poor communication skills, couldn't take responsibility for her actions and outbursts, and also showed me that she believed her behavior was acceptable. If you can't humble yourself into an apology when even you know you are in the wrong, then you shouldn't be dating. 2
BlueIris Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Yes, it's a good reason for breaking up. Having a partner who pretends things are ok or didn't happen would drive me batty.
Author Jas_in_cali Posted June 9, 2015 Author Posted June 9, 2015 Thank you for the replies. I guess I really need to fix my issue before entering another relationship. Sadly, my ex bf isn't coming back. Donnivain, when it comes to expressing love I have no problem with that. I have said ''I love you'' plenty of times and really meant it. I can say anything but have trouble with apologizing.
d0nnivain Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Donnivain, when it comes to expressing love I have no problem with that. I have said ''I love you'' plenty of times and really meant it. I can say anything but have trouble with apologizing. I was not implying that you couldn't say ILY. I was making an analogy. Even if somebody showed you every day how much he loved you but didn't say the words, how would you feel? IMO for your EX, your inability to say I'm sorry is similar. Even if you express remorse in other ways, he needed to hear the words. 1
rester Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 I wouldn't be in a relationship with anyone who wouldn't take responsibility for their actions and tell me they were sorry if they hurt me or did something wrong. That is a HUGE character red flag. I agree with this. Humility is great virtue to possess, not only in romantic relationships, but also in friendships and in business relationships.
toscaroscura Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 This is one of the many reasons I divorced my ex. We had been together since high school, but the fact that he NEVER said he was sorry about anything just wore me down.
spiderowl Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 When you say sorry, voluntarily, you are not losing anything: you are just dissipating the tension caused by the mistake or misunderstanding. That's what builds bridges between you. It has to be give and take, of course, with both people acknowledging when they have crossed the other and caused tension between the two of you.
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