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Asking for Too Much?


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Posted

My boyfriend and I got into an argument and he revealed that he had hung out with his ex. I got really upset because we both work two jobs and don't really have a lot of time together and it upset me to know that he had chosen to see his ex rather than spend time with me which rarely happens. It was a pretty bad argument and he said he was still going to hang out with her even though I said I felt uncomfortable about it. A few days after the argument we compromised and he agreed to quit his second job if I cut down on my hours (we don't really need these second jobs, they're just for extra money) because I told him that spending time together meant more to me than the extra money. All is well here, or so I imagine. But now, I want to address the hanging out with his ex. I feel like he may have said that he was still going to hang out with her regardless in the heat of the moment, but I'm unsure. I want to bring it back up and ask him to stop seeing her. I just don't want to seem controlling or possessive by first asking for more time and then asking him to stop seeing his ex. Am I being unreasonable? Is there a way to approach the subject without seeming like a demand?

Posted
My boyfriend and I got into an argument and he revealed that he had hung out with his ex. I got really upset because we both work two jobs and don't really have a lot of time together and it upset me to know that he had chosen to see his ex rather than spend time with me which rarely happens. It was a pretty bad argument and he said he was still going to hang out with her even though I said I felt uncomfortable about it. A few days after the argument we compromised and he agreed to quit his second job if I cut down on my hours (we don't really need these second jobs, they're just for extra money) because I told him that spending time together meant more to me than the extra money. All is well here, or so I imagine. But now, I want to address the hanging out with his ex. I feel like he may have said that he was still going to hang out with her regardless in the heat of the moment, but I'm unsure. I want to bring it back up and ask him to stop seeing her. I just don't want to seem controlling or possessive by first asking for more time and then asking him to stop seeing his ex. Am I being unreasonable? Is there a way to approach the subject without seeming like a demand?

 

You've expressed your concern and he has a heads up. He's agreed to make ways/time to see you and he knows you're uncomfortable about him seeing her. You give it some time now to let him address the issues. If you continue to harp on it, it will cause him to either pull away from you or not follow through with the compromise you've made.

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