fitnessfan365 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 I'm sure this has happened to people on here before. But it's extremely frustrating. First date last night. Instant mutual sexual attraction. First kiss within ten minutes and regular kissing/physical contact through out. When I walked her back to her car, she even asked what my plans were for the rest of the night. So I could have had her back at my place. But I told her I had to be up early, gave her a quick kiss goodnight, and left. The problem? Nothing else there. Bland convo, not much in common, and no mental edge. I like a woman with a really witty/feisty personality that is quick on her feet. She's already expressed interest in seeing me again. But I just don't feel right about sleeping with a woman I know I have no real interest in. It would be nice to have that raw attraction with a woman I actually like as a person.
Gary S Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 I hear you... you need to have friendship chemistry too. A relationship is a friendship on fire. That said, don't look for a women to be your whole universe... perhaps the center of your universe?
Author fitnessfan365 Posted June 9, 2015 Author Posted June 9, 2015 I hear you... you need to have friendship chemistry too. A relationship is a friendship on fire. That said, don't look for a women to be your whole universe... perhaps the center of your universe? Haha.. No worries about that Gary. I'm way too independent to ever turn into a clingy needy weirdo. One thing I've always said is that a person should be a pleasant addition and not a definition.
Gaeta Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Actually I think it's my problem. I run my dating life too much on attraction and not enough on common interests and that boring stuff. New guy I met from Saturday we have nothing to talk about but the flirting and kissing was full of sparks. It's sexual compatibility. We're like animals after all in that department, what you've experience is a mating ritual. Now that we don't live in caves anymore we control those urges but natures still dictate everything.
blackcat777 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 When I used OLD, I met a ton of guys that had an eerie amount of commonalities with me and totally compatible views... but no sparks flew. Ever. The needle in the haystack is finding the two together, attraction and compatibility. I like the "friendship on fire." Not to sound grim, but then, on top of that, both people have to be willing to commit, too... Uggh. SO DIFFICULT!!!! Attraction + compatibility + commitment. Yikes. 1
losangelena Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 I dunno, I usually need some "extra" component to even be sexually attracted to someone. Thinking they're hot is not enough. The mind's gotta be engaged as well. That's not to say I haven't slept with guys with whom I felt very little attraction for. If I'm aroused enough after some making out, it's really not that hard to "go all the way," even if I'm not super all about the guy. That's much more rare.
Gaeta Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 I dunno, I usually need some "extra" component to even be sexually attracted to someone. Thinking they're hot is not enough. The mind's gotta be engaged as well. I wish I was like that. If I find a man to my liking I can be rolling in the grass with him 30 mins later. 1
jen1447 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 I usually don't need much more than physical attraction/desire (big surprise I'm sure ) but dumbness can creep into my mix and wreck it. Even if we're not really having conversation, when the few words you do use are ....dumb, that tends to turn me off. I think maybe bc I start to feel like I'm with someone who maybe doesn't even have the practical power to consent to all this.
xxoo Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 I dunno, I usually need some "extra" component to even be sexually attracted to someone. Thinking they're hot is not enough. The mind's gotta be engaged as well. Me, too! Looks have never been enough for me to get hot and bothered, squirming in my seat. I can't imagine.
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 What BlackCat said is SO true! I'm just like you, FF - I need to have that mental stimulation along with physical and sexual chemistry with a guy...and if all three of those aspects aren't present during the first date, there won't be a second date. If I can have an intellectually stimulating convo with a guy and, along with that, he's cute, has a nice bod and makes me tingle, then woohoo! I've hit the jackpot lol .
minime13 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 I'm sure this has happened to people on here before. But it's extremely frustrating. First date last night. Instant mutual sexual attraction. First kiss within ten minutes and regular kissing/physical contact through out. When I walked her back to her car, she even asked what my plans were for the rest of the night. So I could have had her back at my place. But I told her I had to be up early, gave her a quick kiss goodnight, and left. The problem? Nothing else there. Bland convo, not much in common, and no mental edge. I like a woman with a really witty/feisty personality that is quick on her feet. She's already expressed interest in seeing me again. But I just don't feel right about sleeping with a woman I know I have no real interest in. It would be nice to have that raw attraction with a woman I actually like as a person. Maybe she was having first-date jitters? There's nothing wrong with asking for a second date to see if she opens up any. If not, then no big deal. At least you know for sure that there will only be sexual attraction. Don't sleep with her though. 2
Recommended Posts