Lappin1 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 NC Day 15 I need help, I think I am about do to something stupid. Ex broke up with me a month and a half ago after 3 years. I would love to believe it's GIGS but in retrospect, it's not. I was a not a very good boyfriend and I actually knew it the whole time. The thing is, my ego was so big and I was so sure of myself that she would never leave me that I took advantage of that a lot. Turns out, she got tired of me and left me, saying "I am not happy anymore and I want to see other people". Well, that was clear enough.. It almost killed me. I did a huge introspection, I am even seeing a therapist to better myself. I am on the right path and ex GF knows that. Problem here, I am pretty sure she is already seeing someone else and could not care less about me. Breaking NC : Once in a while, I go for a run outside with her best friend (we are running a 21k in september together, just her and me, not with ex). We are supposed to go for a run of thursday. I know I will be tempted to talk about the ex with her and to get her point of view. Is it a terrible idea ? I need help here.. Thank you
kasop Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 The last thing you want to do is talk to her bestfriend about her. You do not want to hear about how your ex is doing. What she is up to and who she is with. This information will not help you move on at all. 3
Yummm Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Agreed, any information you tell you her friend will also get relayed back to her giving her the power over you knowing that you're still pining to her. Show that you're happy without her and still looking forward to the run and life in the future, that is the best way.
Plaster Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Sounds like your describing my situation. Same time frame too. I'm 7 days deep into NC and all I want to do is reach out to her. She's 'just having sex that's all it is' with someone else and that breaks my heart but she still says that she loves me but it hurts too much etc so I can feel your pain. I've made massive changes to my lifestyle since the break up. I won't say I've changed as a person because it's not been a huge amount of time but I'm on the correct path. I just am still hopelessly in love with her. I have 2 other women on the go but I only want my ex really. **** times. Stay strong mate. I've been so tempted today but I've been strong. You can too.
DexterLS Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 First, Talking to her best-friend is breaking NC. I hope you know that. Second, It seems your ex is pretty much over you. However this might hurt, you need to let this go and move on. I know it's not easy but time to start thinking about yourself. I am glad you are seeing a therapist and working on yourself. Treat this as an experience. Learn from it and your next relationship will be much better but you need to let this one go. Stop torturing yourself and stick with NC. 1
Author Lappin1 Posted June 9, 2015 Author Posted June 9, 2015 Thanks everyone, much appreciated. NC is not easy, but clearly the only way to go..
minime13 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 There is only one situation where you should ever break NC, and that is if you are the dumper, and you decided you made a huge mistake (or have had a change of heart) and honestly want to get that person back. So, no. Don't break NC, because this situation isn't yours.
aloneinaz Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Stay NC.. She dumped you for your behavior and probably other reasons as well. You've accepted ownership of your mistakes and are taking the right steps to not repeat it in your next relationship. Understand that any further contact from you will only turn her off more. She'll think to herself "come on man, have some self respect and leave me alone".. Dumped people for some reason get their thinking 180 off. "If I just call/text her again and tell her how much I love her and what she means to me", she'll come running back to my arms.. DEAD WRONG! They will only feel sorry for you and it will reinforce that their decision was correct. You said you have a big ego, you're in shape obviously, so there's no reason you can't move onto another girl and be a better BF. I also agree that staying in touch with HER best friend is simply crazy. It's keeping you connected to her which is why you're doing it. If you want to move forward (right?), tell her best friend that you're going to back out of your friendship so you can heal and move on w/your life. When my ex and I split, I was close to her family and a couple of friends. They were all deleted and blocked on my FB the day we broke up. I didn't want to know, hear or see anything that involved her. You should feel the same.
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