forest97 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 I know i've posted a few other threads to this forum regarding the relationship with my now ex, and i did notice that I was a bit clingy, so i stopped this, i really did, and after she got back from her trip to Borneo, she was a bit weird. Like she seemed a bit cold, her mum said she was generally as the flight was 15 hours. Even so she was quite clingy as she missed me, saying she loves me basically all day we spent together, she loved the Tiffany and Co necklace i bought her, and wore it virtually everyday since. The next weekend she took y shopping for my birthday on the Monday after, we had a Nando's and a Toby Carvery in the evening with her dad and his side of the family which we really enjoyed. We planned for me to stay the weekend and watch films and cuddle, but she said i can't because she needs to do her work, but we got back to hers at 9:30pm so she wouldn't. Then her friend text her asking her if she wanted to go to the pub for a bit, i made a joke saying i see how it was. So we cuddled till i went home. She sent a text saying sorry she's been moody and bitchy with me but she really does care and loves me! She then posted on my Facebook saying Happy birthday, hope i have a great day etc... can't wait to see you Saturday. (Planned to stay again and cuddle all day then go clubbing in the evening) She was a bit weird all week text wise, she then text me on Friday saying we need to talk. Met up with her on the Saturday, she took me to the nearby park and started to cry, she said i was too clingy for her and i said so were you, she agreed. She just cried and cried and cuddled me and i had to cuddle her back, as i started crying to. She said herself she still loved me and cares about me but why break up? I kinda still think she cheated on me with nudes and stuff, but it still doesn't make me hate her, i miss her so much, like from every i love you and every cuddle and kiss. Any advice on what to do? And if you have any more questions please ask, i can give as much details as you need. Thanks in advance
DexterLS Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 I read your other threads. I am sorry but brace yourself for the possibility that she met someone else. I understand you have feelings for her. I understand it's hard to let go but you have to do it. Have you already started NC?
ZiggyZoo Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 I also read your other threads....wow. I think honestly that this relationship was doomed for months now. You had convinced yourself that she either cheated on you, or was going to cheat on you. I can't imagine either of you were very happy in the end there. I doubt you're going to do this, but NC is the best for you right now. The temptation for you especially is going to be to text, call, e-mail, and message her to death begging to get back together or at least talk about what happened. But DON'T. Resist.
Author forest97 Posted June 9, 2015 Author Posted June 9, 2015 I read your other threads. I am sorry but brace yourself for the possibility that she met someone else. I understand you have feelings for her. I understand it's hard to let go but you have to do it. Have you already started NC? I think she might have cheated, and i do have proof as well as even her friends saying she's changed and become very slutty. We did have no contact for nearly a month, but i messaged her just to see how she was, i shouldn't have done this. But she replied saying she wanted to be friends still. Also i regret doing this but i found out that she sent nudes and dirty talk a few days after our break up, i shouldn't admit it but i did! Also i do think she was sending these with the same guy during so, but i can't help but to still care about her, what can i do?
Author forest97 Posted June 9, 2015 Author Posted June 9, 2015 I also read your other threads....wow. I think honestly that this relationship was doomed for months now. You had convinced yourself that she either cheated on you, or was going to cheat on you. I can't imagine either of you were very happy in the end there. I doubt you're going to do this, but NC is the best for you right now. The temptation for you especially is going to be to text, call, e-mail, and message her to death begging to get back together or at least talk about what happened. But DON'T. Resist. I kind of regret messaging her to just see how she was, but nothing else, even though she said she wanted to be friends, opinions on what i should do next?
Author forest97 Posted June 9, 2015 Author Posted June 9, 2015 The weekend before she broke up with me she was fine, we went shopping had a few meals out, she introduced me to her dad's side of her family, and she even wrote on my facebook for my birthday (along with the ugly selfies i took on her phone) "Happy 18th birthday! Hope you have an amazing day :* Can't wait to see you on Saturday" <3 " this was 5 days before she broke up, and i do believe everything was fine leading up to the break up. What could have happened?
Yummm Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 (edited) Ahh man.. I feel you, I know the situation you're in at the moment and it really does suck. THREE DAYS before she dumped me I went to see all of her family in another city and they 'loved me'. We had an amazing day, full of love, laughter, family and great sex. The NIGHT BEFORE my ex dumped me she told me 'I love you, you're my person, my beautiful, my angel, can't wait to see you on Saturday!'.... Listen to the advice you're given here, it really helps. What should you do next? Go NC, get your power pack and start having faith in yourself and your future. You're young, plenty of time to find happiness and find a woman who appreciates the good in you. Stay strong buddy, we're all going through it Edited June 9, 2015 by Yummm 2
Author forest97 Posted June 9, 2015 Author Posted June 9, 2015 Ahh man.. I feel you, I know the situation you're in at the moment and it really does suck. THREE DAYS before she dumped me I went to see all of her family in another city and they 'loved me'. We had an amazing day, full of love, laughter, family and great sex. The NIGHT BEFORE my ex dumped me she told me 'I love you, you're my person, my beautiful, my angel, can't wait to see you on Saturday!'.... Listen to the advice you're given here, it really helps. What should you do next? Go NC, get your power pack and start having faith in yourself and your future. You're young, plenty of time to find happiness and find a woman who appreciates the good in you. Stay strong buddy, we're all going through it Sorry to hear you've been through something similar to this, although i broke NC last week, when i asked her how she was and how she 'wanted to be friends with me' although i haven't spoke to her since, so shall i keep it like this? Did you ever find out why she changed all of a sudden? I really don't get it, she was literally excited to see me and spend time with me for my birthday, saying how much she loves me. Well now she's being going clubbing almost every weekend, and all she does is post pictures of her ans guys as well as being "slutty" her friends words not mine, so she has changed, she was never like this, I don't get why she's changed. It annoys me because everything reminds me of her aha.
AIJ Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Probably met someone else and continued stringing you along until she was certain this other guy was ready to commit to her. Don't be surprised if she has a new boyfriend in the coming weeks
Author forest97 Posted June 9, 2015 Author Posted June 9, 2015 Probably met someone else and continued stringing you along until she was certain this other guy was ready to commit to her. Don't be surprised if she has a new boyfriend in the coming weeks So you think she was essentially using me? Also how should i feel, because if this is true, i will be upset to be honest! And she kept tweeting how hard she was finding the break up and how she wants to talk but needs to get over me, then she goes out clubbing and her friend tweeted "How's Tom Today? ;)" Ex replied "Don't know let's not talk about it ;)" A week after , and how she was finding it hard, but she does whatever, maybe it was a joke but it takes a while both sides to get over someone, more so when you "love" them, which i did, and she claimed she did and still did when she broke up. I'm so confused, angry, upset and many things...
AIJ Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 So you think she was essentially using me? Also how should i feel, because if this is true, i will be upset to be honest! And she kept tweeting how hard she was finding the break up and how she wants to talk but needs to get over me, then she goes out clubbing and her friend tweeted "How's Tom Today? ;)" Ex replied "Don't know let's not talk about it ;)" A week after , and how she was finding it hard, but she does whatever, maybe it was a joke but it takes a while both sides to get over someone, more so when you "love" them, which i did, and she claimed she did and still did when she broke up. I'm so confused, angry, upset and many things... Tends to be a common reason for breakups. I wouldn't say she was using you, no, she did genuinely like you and want you at one point in time however something newer and shinier came along and off she went. Just the way it tends to go most of the time. Obviously it'll hit them that they've lost someone significant to them, they are hurting too, but they tend to mask those feelings with the fresh relationship. All the best to you anyway, its been a good 4 and a half months since my break up, I'm over it now, no desire to have anything to do with my ex ever again. Her new boyfriend still continues to try and be friends with me, no idea why, but I tend to just ignore him when he messages me
ZiggyZoo Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 The biggest reason why people will say "I'm soooo in love with you!" and then break up the next day is simply because they were lying. They either had another someone sort-of on the side, and were waiting to see how it went, or they just didn't feel it anymore and weren't quite ready to end it. Pay attention to people's actions, their words don't have to mean sh*t. She was lying to you in the end, plain and simple. I don't know why, she may have had someone else or just wanted to pursue someone else. You need to stop checking her social media though. What good is it going to do you to know what she's posting? If you're waiting for her to send some cryptic message calling to you to start again, it ain't gonna happen. She's going to show the side of her she wants to show, and it likely isn't near to the full truth. Stop getting updates from her friends, too. Again, what good will it do? Go NC, move on. She has, and you're not going to change that. You're just prolonging your own hurt by thinking you know what she's doing. Let her be slutty. She's not your girl, not your concern.
FistOfTheNorthStar Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Oh boy. That's quite a ride my friend. Well right now that I'm still on detox, I've also remembered some things that shattered me along the line. When we started dating she had these messages with whom she had slept and was talking about a previous encounter with a person who she was dog sitting for. When I asked her about it she was like oh it's nothing it was before and I don't like him. Later on he was kicked out of his apartment and wanted to crash at her place which made me uncomfortable. When it came down to that it did brush me the wrong way and the guy knew I had a dislike for him. However, my ex turned out to be a slut and a sexual deviant so... Although what we had was beautiful and I loved her with every sense of my being, she threw it all away. I got her out of a few bad situations but it just wasn't enough. What I mean to say with this is, hermano, it's best to move forward and just learn. Stick to NC, and trust me it will suck. I also had purchased a "day collar" for her that was pure silver and looked like a heart necklace, the night she left me her and the guy she is with now broke it. It's not worth the pain when you will just suffer more in the end. I hope you are well brother. -F
Author forest97 Posted June 10, 2015 Author Posted June 10, 2015 The biggest reason why people will say "I'm soooo in love with you!" and then break up the next day is simply because they were lying. They either had another someone sort-of on the side, and were waiting to see how it went, or they just didn't feel it anymore and weren't quite ready to end it. Pay attention to people's actions, their words don't have to mean sh*t. She was lying to you in the end, plain and simple. I don't know why, she may have had someone else or just wanted to pursue someone else. You need to stop checking her social media though. What good is it going to do you to know what she's posting? If you're waiting for her to send some cryptic message calling to you to start again, it ain't gonna happen. She's going to show the side of her she wants to show, and it likely isn't near to the full truth. Stop getting updates from her friends, too. Again, what good will it do? Go NC, move on. She has, and you're not going to change that. You're just prolonging your own hurt by thinking you know what she's doing. Let her be slutty. She's not your girl, not your concern. It does hurt a hell of a lot, because i was that happy to be honest, for once haha! I thought she was showing that she loved me by before her trip to Borneo with her college, she invited me to spend a week with her dad, which we did many things, but kept on about how nothing would change and promised with "all her heart" a few weeks after she is back i'm dumped, so i guess words mean nothing. I don't look at her social media on purpose, her status and pictures are on my homepage on facebook and twitter as well as the pictures of guys on her story on snapchat. Her friendd (who is a guy, but we get on) keeps telling me these things, i didn't ask for it, and i'm finding a bit weird to be fair.
Author forest97 Posted June 10, 2015 Author Posted June 10, 2015 Tends to be a common reason for breakups. I wouldn't say she was using you, no, she did genuinely like you and want you at one point in time however something newer and shinier came along and off she went. Just the way it tends to go most of the time. Obviously it'll hit them that they've lost someone significant to them, they are hurting too, but they tend to mask those feelings with the fresh relationship. All the best to you anyway, its been a good 4 and a half months since my break up, I'm over it now, no desire to have anything to do with my ex ever again. Her new boyfriend still continues to try and be friends with me, no idea why, but I tend to just ignore him when he messages me But it seemed to happen within the space of 5 days which confuses me, like what could have happened? Before her college trip to Borneo, we were so into each other and even out there she kept in contact (her own choice) like once a day, saying what she's been up to and how much she misses/loves me. I know she has been sending nudes and dirty talking this guy (the one mentioned in another thread) much like i thought she was in the last few months of our relationship. I asked her, when we were at her dad's in April, just to be honest, have you ever (before me or during)? and she flat out denied it saying that she would never, but i've got proof otherwise. i am a nice guy, i always seem to get broken up with :/
Pastmen Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 But it seemed to happen within the space of 5 days which confuses me, like what could have happened? Before her college trip to Borneo, we were so into each other and even out there she kept in contact (her own choice) like once a day, saying what she's been up to and how much she misses/loves me. I know she has been sending nudes and dirty talking this guy (the one mentioned in another thread) much like i thought she was in the last few months of our relationship. I asked her, when we were at her dad's in April, just to be honest, have you ever (before me or during)? and she flat out denied it saying that she would never, but i've got proof otherwise. i am a nice guy, i always seem to get broken up with :/ I've had the same thing with my ex. Everything was perfect in the week before I was there nothing was different and I went home happy again. Then one day later she said you're so perfect I really loved it with you again and that night she wishes me good night with I love you. And then all of a sudden, the morning after she says we needed to talk blabla and broke up with me. My ex had been on a holiday where she had a lot of attention from boys also that was 2,5 week before the break up and I think there she didn't miss me as much and broke up with me. But I asked her a 2 weeks after the BU for an explanation because I was just so shocked and still couldn't believe it and her answer was that she hold it back to herself that her feelings had changed and she tried to still make it work and let the feelings come back. But then the last time we saw each other she saw that I still really liked her and she thought that it couldn't be like this anymore so she broke up. Maybe that's the same in your case she tried 'a little' to keep the RS going but in the end or she did like someone else more, or she just doesn't like you enough anymore.. It sucks I know, but we have to move on with our lives and that isn't possible to do with her right now. Good luck.
Author forest97 Posted June 10, 2015 Author Posted June 10, 2015 I've had the same thing with my ex. Everything was perfect in the week before I was there nothing was different and I went home happy again. Then one day later she said you're so perfect I really loved it with you again and that night she wishes me good night with I love you. And then all of a sudden, the morning after she says we needed to talk blabla and broke up with me. My ex had been on a holiday where she had a lot of attention from boys also that was 2,5 week before the break up and I think there she didn't miss me as much and broke up with me. But I asked her a 2 weeks after the BU for an explanation because I was just so shocked and still couldn't believe it and her answer was that she hold it back to herself that her feelings had changed and she tried to still make it work and let the feelings come back. But then the last time we saw each other she saw that I still really liked her and she thought that it couldn't be like this anymore so she broke up. Maybe that's the same in your case she tried 'a little' to keep the RS going but in the end or she did like someone else more, or she just doesn't like you enough anymore.. It sucks I know, but we have to move on with our lives and that isn't possible to do with her right now. Good luck. How do i move on? Like i've had break ups but i would count this as a very serious relationship, when i was really happy and i loved her so much, i still love her still and i cannot stop thinking about her, which is horrible...
organizedchaos Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 It does hurt a hell of a lot, because i was that happy to be honest, for once haha! I thought she was showing that she loved me by before her trip to Borneo with her college, she invited me to spend a week with her dad, which we did many things, but kept on about how nothing would change and promised with "all her heart" a few weeks after she is back i'm dumped, so i guess words mean nothing. I don't look at her social media on purpose, her status and pictures are on my homepage on facebook and twitter as well as the pictures of guys on her story on snapchat. Her friendd (who is a guy, but we get on) keeps telling me these things, i didn't ask for it, and i'm finding a bit weird to be fair. Why are you still connected to her on social media??? Don't you realize this is holding you back? Remove and/or block her everywhere!
organizedchaos Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 How do i move on? Like i've had break ups but i would count this as a very serious relationship, when i was really happy and i loved her so much, i still love her still and i cannot stop thinking about her, which is horrible... You start by disconnecting from her on social media and stop getting updates on her. Go complete NC and vanish from her life.
I Just Wanna b Happy Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 How do i move on? Like i've had break ups but i would count this as a very serious relationship, when i was really happy and i loved her so much, i still love her still and i cannot stop thinking about her, which is horrible... Me and my wife of 11 years just split up and I'm working on moving on. Is is extremely hard? Yes. Do I still love her dearly? Yes. Do I think about her often? Yes. But you know what? That isn't changing reality. I have to move on as she seems to have. If I can do it, so can you.
Author forest97 Posted June 10, 2015 Author Posted June 10, 2015 Me and my wife of 11 years just split up and I'm working on moving on. Is is extremely hard? Yes. Do I still love her dearly? Yes. Do I think about her often? Yes. But you know what? That isn't changing reality. I have to move on as she seems to have. If I can do it, so can you. i'm so sorry to hear this, but how do you move on? What sort of things should i be doing? I will be attending the same university as her in September (neither of us did this so we could be together, although she attends college there already) so i will probably see her daily which will be weird.
Author forest97 Posted June 10, 2015 Author Posted June 10, 2015 Why are you still connected to her on social media??? Don't you realize this is holding you back? Remove and/or block her everywhere! It's hard to do this though, it's like i don't stalk her, or anything of that kind, but are you suggesting that i delete her off all my social media accounts?
Author forest97 Posted June 10, 2015 Author Posted June 10, 2015 What's everyone's views on pictures together and messages, i mean they kind of give me a bittersweet feeling, they make me happy but then i realise that this will never happen again. I don't really want to delete the photos to be honest, but should i?
Yummm Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 What's everyone's views on pictures together and messages, i mean they kind of give me a bittersweet feeling, they make me happy but then i realise that this will never happen again. I don't really want to delete the photos to be honest, but should i? Bro, I understand that you're hurting and it's normal, I feel exactly the same way, but listen to the advice everybody here is giving you... Read my story to take your mind off things, you can see how my emotional rollercoaster has been going over the last few weeks: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/530753-much-appreciated Delete her from all social networks, even if you don't stalk her now, you will run the risk of giving into the urge and hurting yourself. The only reason you're keeping her is for some sort of 'hope' that she's still somehow in your life, it's false. If you don't want to delete the pictures, do what I did, put them in a box and put them away where you won't look at them until the future (if you even care) or give them to a friend who will hold them for you. The messages? They are the past, delete them, empty words, it will hurt in the beginning, but will aid your healing and feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. Moving on takes time, you will have ups and downs. The last 3 days have been $HIT for me, today a LITTLE better, take it day by day, don't focus too far in the future, focus on getting through TODAY. Get out for some fresh air, spend more time with family/friends that you neglected during your relationship, release endorphins by working out, listen to uplifting music, have a little cry, just power through buddy. I know you feel like your world is ending, but you're so young, you'll be fine
Krieger Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Probably met someone else and continued stringing you along until she was certain this other guy was ready to commit to her. Don't be surprised if she has a new boyfriend in the coming weeks yep every woman has the next guy on speed dial and OP I bet you all ready met her new BF .
Recommended Posts