rheinzman1985 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 I've been dating my girlfriend for 3 months, not long but our relationship was amazing. For the last month she has been putting up excuses for thinking we can't work, such as she feels she has to change everyday, can't have a social life, etc. I'll just make this short and sweet, cause she thinks I'm controlling but admits to being out of control. Here goes.. She and I went to her friends barbeque about a month ago, and instead of it being fun she decided to get plastered, and whatever her friend said she did. Her friend got her to walk down the neighborhoods drunk, and my girlfriend eventually ripped her shirt off screaming out loud, with random people around and it was horribly embarrassing. She wrote this friend off for about a week than eventually told me that she will see this friend and thats it. As much as that pissed me off they just hung out again this weekend, without me, and she texted a friend telling her that she met this really hot guy and he took her phone and put his number in it. After that this random number was texting her again, I've seen it before. He kept saying lets get together to drink and smoke..and that he enjoyed their time together. She was passed out so I wrote back asking questions like when did we hang out, and what was fun about it. He replied the drinking, smoking, and sex. This all happened a couple hours ago so I'm still trying to come to my senses cause I'm shocked. Now I asked when they had sex he said about a month ago, which is when we were together. I woke her up and showed her, granted it was middle of the night, but she instantly got defensive and said well it's a perception thing, he doesn't know what he is talking about. She said it was before us, that he's an idiot and if I believe him than so be it. My question to anyone who has experienced this, or can help in anyway..how do I play this? Cause I left her house, in fact she let me out and seemed fed up with me, which tells me she's guilty as hell. What is my next move on this?
fred123 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Guys who are hot can do anything and the girl will let them. The girl wont get mad at them. Say another guy did the same and tried to do what the hot guy did she would tell him "i dont sleep with guys so wuickly or i have a boyfriend"
GorillaTheater Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 What is my next move on this? My first thought was "you gotta ask??", but apparently you do or you wouldn't be here. This one's a no-brainer, man. Only three months? Essentially telling you for the past month that she wants out? Likely cheating? She doesn't want to pull the trigger, for whatever reason, so do both of you a favor and do it for her. 5
Redhead14 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 I've been dating my girlfriend for 3 months, not long but our relationship was amazing. For the last month she has been putting up excuses for thinking we can't work, such as she feels she has to change everyday, can't have a social life, etc. I'll just make this short and sweet, cause she thinks I'm controlling but admits to being out of control. Here goes.. She and I went to her friends barbeque about a month ago, and instead of it being fun she decided to get plastered, and whatever her friend said she did. Her friend got her to walk down the neighborhoods drunk, and my girlfriend eventually ripped her shirt off screaming out loud, with random people around and it was horribly embarrassing. She wrote this friend off for about a week than eventually told me that she will see this friend and thats it. As much as that pissed me off they just hung out again this weekend, without me, and she texted a friend telling her that she met this really hot guy and he took her phone and put his number in it. After that this random number was texting her again, I've seen it before. He kept saying lets get together to drink and smoke..and that he enjoyed their time together. She was passed out so I wrote back asking questions like when did we hang out, and what was fun about it. He replied the drinking, smoking, and sex. This all happened a couple hours ago so I'm still trying to come to my senses cause I'm shocked. Now I asked when they had sex he said about a month ago, which is when we were together. I woke her up and showed her, granted it was middle of the night, but she instantly got defensive and said well it's a perception thing, he doesn't know what he is talking about. She said it was before us, that he's an idiot and if I believe him than so be it. My question to anyone who has experienced this, or can help in anyway..how do I play this? Cause I left her house, in fact she let me out and seemed fed up with me, which tells me she's guilty as hell. What is my next move on this? You tell her you two are not a good match and move on. It's only been three months and now you can't trust her, she gets drunk and exposes herself in public and turns the tables on you for her bad behavior and challenging you to believe her over someone else after she's made a fool of herself. Do you really need that in your life? 6
DivorcedDad123 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 "How do you play this?" You walk away and find someone who respects you more than this. 2
Gary S Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Many women under 27 aren't ready for love yet. They call it puppy love. 1
jen1447 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 God ....when was excessive drinking ever a good idea? 3
PegNosePete Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Cause I left her house, in fact she let me out and seemed fed up with me, which tells me she's guilty as hell. What is my next move on this? Never go back. 2
empresario Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 I have a story similar to this...only I didn't find out until almost a year into the relationship. You are fortunate to have found out about an early indiscretion before things got serious. It's worse the longer the connection builds. Get out of it now. There are more women in the world. Ones that aren't flipping insane. 3
minime13 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Walk away. Don't even talk to her again. She doesn't even deserve that.
PogoStick Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 She is dogging you big time! Break up and start dating her cute friend. 1
Emilia Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 OP, she is an out of control alcoholic. She tore her shirt off in the middle of the street screaming and this is the woman of your dreams? not even talking about the cheating. She is a tramp! Seriously? 3
joseb Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 As others have said, your next move is to dump her. Pretty simple really. Is there any reason you are thinking not to dump her? 1
Toodaloo Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 God ....when was excessive drinking ever a good idea? Well this one time at band camp... It always seems like a good idea at the time... like the time we decided that naked bareback horse races were the most sensible thing to do... Damned horse hair... gets EVERYWHERE and you keep finding it (or more correctly) your other half does... for ages!!! Never go back OP. Don't even give this a second thought. This girl is one of "those" girls... leave her for someone else. You deserve better than this and there is a hell of a lot better out there!!! 2
Author rheinzman1985 Posted June 13, 2015 Author Posted June 13, 2015 Thanks for all the replies.. The biggest thing I agree with is that she is pushing me away but hanging on for some reason. Already been around her parents a lot and they adore me. But as for pushing me away or wanting out, she has given clues to that. I'm sticking around for now cause i believe in giving someone a chance, but maybe I need advice on something here..she always always complains how we don't speak the same language, such as when we talk serious it almost seems like she is purposely screwing up the convo and making it so much more complicated. I'm black and white I like to make it simple and to the point, as an example I can tell her I don't trust others so easy, but she spins it around and says I have to stop that line of thinking and it makes her want to leave me. But I give her reasons and truth to why it isn't bad and to who I'm talking about, but has anyone else dated a girl who spins every word around and literally goes into a rage when it happens?
lgspot Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 Well this one time at band camp... It always seems like a good idea at the time... like the time we decided that naked bareback horse races were the most sensible thing to do... Damned horse hair... gets EVERYWHERE and you keep finding it (or more correctly) your other half does... for ages!!! Never go back OP. Don't even give this a second thought. This girl is one of "those" girls... leave her for someone else. You deserve better than this and there is a hell of a lot better out there!!! Sooooooooo.... Who won the horserace??? 1
bubbaganoosh Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 Thanks for all the replies.. The biggest thing I agree with is that she is pushing me away but hanging on for some reason. Already been around her parents a lot and they adore me. But as for pushing me away or wanting out, she has given clues to that. I'm sticking around for now cause i believe in giving someone a chance, but maybe I need advice on something here..she always always complains how we don't speak the same language, such as when we talk serious it almost seems like she is purposely screwing up the convo and making it so much more complicated. I'm black and white I like to make it simple and to the point, as an example I can tell her I don't trust others so easy, but she spins it around and says I have to stop that line of thinking and it makes her want to leave me. But I give her reasons and truth to why it isn't bad and to who I'm talking about, but has anyone else dated a girl who spins every word around and literally goes into a rage when it happens? Friend. She's telling to to move on without saying "Get Lost" so why do you want to hang on to something that isn't there. Truthfully when she got smashed and ripped her shirt off in front of all those people would have been the time to make you exit. 1
Author rheinzman1985 Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 I guess the biggest thing that hurts is being told we spend a lot of time together. She says it like it's a problem. I understand people got things to do, I had dinner with her parents and we hung out earlier, during the dinner she was with friends. Came back did work on the laptop and than went to bed without any time with me. Instead said we already saw each other today.. So like everyone is saying on here I think my best course of action is to cut ties and find another girl or just be single and get a little more self respect 3
joseb Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 I guess the biggest thing that hurts is being told we spend a lot of time together. She says it like it's a problem. I understand people got things to do, I had dinner with her parents and we hung out earlier, during the dinner she was with friends. Came back did work on the laptop and than went to bed without any time with me. Instead said we already saw each other today.. So like everyone is saying on here I think my best course of action is to cut ties and find another girl or just be single and get a little more self respect Yeah man - sorry but she has checked out already. Time for you to pull the trigger. Don't wait any longer - we always come up with excuses to put this off, don't let 3 months become 4 or 6 or 12. 2
kenmore Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 God ....when was excessive drinking ever a good idea? I ask myself this every weekend!
elaine567 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Thanks for all the replies.. The biggest thing I agree with is that she is pushing me away but hanging on for some reason. Already been around her parents a lot and they adore me. But as for pushing me away or wanting out, she has given clues to that. I'm sticking around for now cause i believe in giving someone a chance, but maybe I need advice on something here..she always always complains how we don't speak the same language, such as when we talk serious it almost seems like she is purposely screwing up the convo and making it so much more complicated. I'm black and white I like to make it simple and to the point, as an example I can tell her I don't trust others so easy, but she spins it around and says I have to stop that line of thinking and it makes her want to leave me. But I give her reasons and truth to why it isn't bad and to who I'm talking about, but has anyone else dated a girl who spins every word around and literally goes into a rage when it happens? YOU are black and white and she is all the colours of the rainbow. YOU are strait laced, she is drinking, smoking and partying like there is no tomorrow at the moment. She knows it is not working for her, but she doesn't have the nerve to pull the plug just yet, that is why she is playing the push and pull game with you. YOU cannot control and change her, to be who you want her to be. YOU are simply not compatible with each other. Realise that and move on.
mystikmind2005 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Well, i would be embarrassed by the flashing too, but, secretly, i would admire it! True!! But anyway, if for no other reason at all, you need to end it because of the 'leaving' threats. You cannot build a relationship on such a weak foundation and have to worry all the time you cannot be yourself or she might end it.... you seriously don't need that, no one does. 1
Emmie83 Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Simple....move on. Alcoholism, cheating and lying is a very bad combination. As much as you have early stage feelings for her, in the long run, it's better to get away sooner rather then later. Trust me. I know all too well. 1
Author rheinzman1985 Posted June 16, 2015 Author Posted June 16, 2015 Well I ended it today. Barely got anything from her last night and this morning, so just had enough. I don't think anyone should feel guilty for wanting to spend time with a significant other. 5
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