danmillar Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 (edited) Girls bring their friends sometimes to dates and people here support them for it and rationalise it. But when a guy does it its bad....? I've been reading a number of threads on this forum, and you can't really criticize women or their motives on this site. That's just how it works. Men can be criticized for anything and everything on this site. That's just how the site works. edit: also, I attend meetups and I can tell you it can become a lifestyle for the regular attendees. It can become their main outlet for socializing. Meetups are typically very, very safe, with a very high percentage of introverts who want a structured arena for socializing in a very conservative way. OP is just scanning for danger and for ways to be offended when there is no reason for concern. Edited June 11, 2015 by danmillar
MissBee Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 (edited) I've been exchanging messages with this guy in OLD. He sugguested to meet at an happy hour that he won and he's the event host, I did some research and he's in a meetup group, I found out that a bunch of people are going. I'm like wth? Aren't first meetings suppose to be one on one, not group settings? I was thinking more like getting drinks with him only. I take it he's not looking for a date? He may simply be looking for event attendees lol. I've had one first meet that was at a party. There were both cons and pros to it. The pro was that it was a little less pressure because of the setting and felt more casual. The cons were, we didn't get much of a chance to sit and talk one on one. I would much prefer for a first meeting with a man to be on neutral territory and one on one than me coming to an event he's hosting with people he already knows....it will likely even be more awkward than a party. With me and the guy we did end up seeing each other after, and the party was at a club so it wasn't like it was him hosting an event with his friends and me showing up, but I wouldn't do that again. I'd tell him that I'd prefer a one on one meet up and ask to reschedule for a day when he isn't having to host. Esp if you're a host and not just a guest, how can you host and be attentive to your date at the same time??? That's awkward. Reschedule. Edited June 11, 2015 by MissBee
Author Bobbi7 Posted June 13, 2015 Author Posted June 13, 2015 He may simply be looking for event attendees lol. I've had one first meet that was at a party. There were both cons and pros to it. The pro was that it was a little less pressure because of the setting and felt more casual. The cons were, we didn't get much of a chance to sit and talk one on one. I would much prefer for a first meeting with a man to be on neutral territory and one on one than me coming to an event he's hosting with people he already knows....it will likely even be more awkward than a party. With me and the guy we did end up seeing each other after, and the party was at a club so it wasn't like it was him hosting an event with his friends and me showing up, but I wouldn't do that again. I'd tell him that I'd prefer a one on one meet up and ask to reschedule for a day when he isn't having to host. Esp if you're a host and not just a guest, how can you host and be attentive to your date at the same time??? That's awkward. Reschedule. The thing is he doesn't know that I KNOW that he's part of the same "meetup group" that I'm in. Ugh. I just happen to check it out and there's like 3 freaking "happy hour" events back to back next Friday. I know that the first meeting isn't suppose to be a "date" like dinner, flowers, movie, but what is it with him not wanting to take 1 hour of his time to set aside to meet for drinks one on one? And obviously since he's the host he isn't gong to pay attention to me the entire night. I do get it takes the pressure off a bit, but the fact that we're talking on a dating site and I expect guys to take me out, not be my friend. I don't know why he's even on a dating site if he hosts/attends all these events on meetup.com where there's a ton of cute girls he probably meets at the bars....
PogoStick Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 What's wrong with meeting someone while socialising with a group? Why not just go, have a good time, and see how things work between you and him?
Author Bobbi7 Posted June 13, 2015 Author Posted June 13, 2015 What's wrong with meeting someone while socialising with a group? Why not just go, have a good time, and see how things work between you and him? I'm not good at socializing with a bunch of strangers. I'm shy.
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