biggles6087 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 So this is day six missing her like mad altho she dumped cause she had feelings for a ex who passed away a few years ago finished everything on good terms we kind of spoke after the break up but it just wasn't the same so I decided to take a step back just couldn't do the the friendship thing cause I still had very strong feelings for her . I'm finding myself really missing her we dated for two months but were friends before for 10 months before that and we used to have some laugh ,she was first person I spoke to the morning and the last person I spoke and said goodnight to. We spoke about everything and was never a awkward silence.I'm really having a bad morning this morning altho I have loads of projects planned and trying to keep busy so I don't think her about all that much I'm finding myself still thinking about her.I'm miserable walking around the place I feel like I lost a good friend all my mates are married so I don't really see them much now anymore so I'm feeling a small bit lonely and I'm not very close to my family . Just thought I share my feelings today. I hope its gets better. How do people cope any advice please?.
loveiswar101 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Feel for you mate. Still very very early days, thinking about er is normal and being so early since BU i would just embrace your thoughts and when you think about her, but as you go further into NC, thoughts of her will fade, time will heal. Like myself you need to keep busy, get stuck into you projects, eat healthy and if can exercise too. Best Wishes 1
Mr Scorpio Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 How do people cope any advice please?. 1. Understand that Day 6 might as well as be Day 1. Healing from these sorts of things takes time. Therefore, don't beat yourself up over the fact you are still thinking about her. 2. Maintain the attitude that you aren't going to be friends with her. That means no contact: no calls, texts, e-mails, facebook/other social media, no driving by her place. 3. Develop a routine and stick to it. Find a way to include exercise in that routine. Maintain a healthy diet. 4. Reach out to whomever you can: friends that have the time, family members, and of course people on here. Read other's breakup stories on here and and reply to them, it might help you feel less alone. 5. If you are religious, turn to religion. If you aren't religious? Check this out: Emoto's Water Experiment: The Power of Thoughts | High Existence 2
Author biggles6087 Posted June 9, 2015 Author Posted June 9, 2015 Thanks guys it was a long distance relationship so no chance of me driving by her place,I removed her of Facebook already and took down any pics that were up of us and I deleted her number which was very hard for me to do . When we last spoke they were a lot of confusing messages been sent at one point she actually told me that she will never forget me and wanted to salvage some kind of friendship but when we tried to be friends after it didn't work I just felt like at the time she was keeping me around as another option so that when i decided to walk out of her life just hope I did the right thing.
RedButton Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Right now it's the hardest time, so do the hard stuff now! You said you already started, so move photos into a box somewhere, online/computer photos to a folder you won't be using, all that stuff. I advise not destroying or deleting forever that stuff, because it's a part of your history and one day you can hopefully look back and smile. As Scorpio said, try to get a routine going. See friends when you can, talk to family, talk to people on here. Find a new hobby or passion, no matter how simple it is. Buy a set of weights and try that out to lose weight/build muscle, play a sport, learn to cook, learn basic carpentry etc etc. Anything at all. If you don't like it, pick a different thing and try again. I would advise not going straight back into dating until you're sure you're not just trying to replace her. Write down your thoughts. Write a letter to her and don't send it. Just write the things you wanted to say or how you're feeling. Keep checking back each time you feel sad or need to write stuff down, you'll see how much you're changing and improving. Finally, just take it one day at a time. You don't have to commit right now to NEVER seeing her again, to thinking 'In x months i'll be okay'. Just need to make it through today, and then do it again tomorrow. Up the hill backwards. 1
dyna85 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 You have a LONG way to go... so please be easy on yourself. LONG WAY to go. Trust me. It sucks. I'm being honest. This is not going to be fun at all and the pain will likely linger for quite some time. When you're talking days of nc, yeah, you're hurting. Weeks nc, still hurting. Months nc, still painful. So yeah, it takes a long while. There are no shortcuts to healing & growth. You'll be okay though!! 1
Author biggles6087 Posted June 9, 2015 Author Posted June 9, 2015 Thank you everyone for the comments some great advice like I said I have no ill feeling towards the girl at all as i told her I didn't hate her when she broke up cause I could understood the reason why dealing with grief can be a horrible a thing and she was with her ex along time so lots off memories and feelings and emotions there and she had her kids to think of to ,I don't no why because I'm feeling sad cause I always handle the break ups quite well.Maybe I loved this lady more than I thought.It was a very tough day but managed to keep busy thank god its nearly over.
Zetec Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Ohhh Man, its hard, I feel for you. I've been there, those first couple of weeks are the hardest things I've ever done in my life. The thing that I did initially was take each day as it comes. Literally wake up, and focus on something to keep me busy for that day. That included going to a friends house, driving to see family, booking a pool table out one evening etc. Then when the next day came along I focused on that. It kept my mind busy and I wasn't worrying about the future. Keep your head up, and stick to no contact you'll get there.
Author biggles6087 Posted June 10, 2015 Author Posted June 10, 2015 Thanks again everyone I had to remove most of my kik contacts last night cause every five minutes I kept on getting messages telling me she was online on the site that we met which was making it harder for me .I was suppose to see her this weekend had a nice romantic weekend planned its going to be hard now not to think of her she was due down on Friday.I did have other plans made but now they have been called off I just hope I don't slip up I didn't sleep great last night my head is totally messed up another busy day planned and now I try and keep busy between 1800 - 2200 so I won't think of her that much during the evening thats when we used to have long phone calls and laugh all night.Another day now on the Nc Rule.
tobrieornottobrie Posted June 22, 2015 Posted June 22, 2015 That's so hard, I'm sorry you're hurting right now. Are you taking time to focus in on things that you really enjoy? Working out? Re-read a favorite book? Spending more time with friends and family? Just some suggestions to help get your mind off of everything that's going on. Remember to take care of yourself during this difficult time. Wishing you the best! the brie's cheese knees
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