Koans Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Read my old shiiiieeet to catch up. Anyways, the reason for the title ok here we go.... We broke up 2014 end of Feb Typical gigs BS ...Her, the dumper tries to add me 6 months later on social media after already in a relationship with someone else. Just to dump him around the time she's reaching out to me. I tell her along the lines of, I love you and fuxk off. A month or two later, she gets with a guy with 2 kids who resembles me. But this fool looks like a frog. Idk why. Ok so April 2015...as more than a year has passed...I emailed her happy bday to show i moved on...(keep in mind she's following me on snapchat but I only kept her as a friend for a month and deleted her) She knows it but still watches my shi*t. We exchanged a few emails...very cordial and very short.. May 1st and 2nd (the MAY-PAC) fight. I'm snapchatting vids of being inside the the venue for the weight-ins. She msgs me twice. One was about the fight. The second message, I didn't even open it. I think she blew her cover of msging me after I have already deleted her. Anways, I got turned off by the fact she messaged me. Like biittchhh, you wanna msg me about a fight but have no decency to make legitimate peace with me after all the bs you put me through during the break up, eat a big one. So from today, 3 days ago, especially from me not responding to her msg. I'd think she get the hint. I snapchat...and see shes STILL WATCHING MY SHIIIII4IT. I dont want to block. I dont block. Blocking to me show shows that somethings bothering you. Im just amazed of how she's stalking the shiii4t out of me as I have already not even kept up with her life in this year of 2015. Question...What is her thoughts, her psychological state. What may she be thinking or feeling. Save your, "just move on", like seriously. That is so annoying and useless. Anyways, because I have ignored her, it almost feel like im the dumper now. That's how I actually feel. Like my healing process sky rocketed. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I havent thought about her in the middle of the day. 1
hunk Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 She's keeping tabs, that's it. If anything it's just a power play for her. She's just watching your snapchats and messaging you because she either 1. Wants no bad blood between you two and is using this a means to alleviate guilt for her part in the relationship ending and doesn't want you to hate her 2. Is curious about what you're doing for her own reasons that have nothing to do with you Emailing her happy birthday doesn't show you've moved on it shows the complete opposite. She treated you like **** and you emailed her happy birthday, go figure. Don't do this or anything like this again. Don't reach out to her again, if she's going to reveal her true intentions it will be on her own accord with no influence from you or any contact you make. Keep ignoring her crap and your healing process will continue at a good rate. 4
Author Koans Posted June 9, 2015 Author Posted June 9, 2015 (edited) Thanx man. Appreciate you understand my post. My only thing is if power play or not. BII3TCH it's already been almost a year and a 1/2. You've already been ran through twice. You dumped me. What fu3ks do you give of keeping tabs like bit3h move on. That's what annoys me. But the more she continues her low self-esteem ways. The more she's teaching me. Like I've always said, the best thing that ever happened to me in our 3 year relationship was the break up. I will never forget her telling me, "I hope you treat the next girl right". Eat your words coz I will. I'm hella excited about that. Edited June 9, 2015 by Koans 2
hunk Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 All good man. You'll look back and laugh at this when you're with a new girl, just wait it out.
Author Koans Posted June 9, 2015 Author Posted June 9, 2015 Much love man! I'm currently in the works with a new girl. We're moving slow as hell with it but I like it that way. It allows me to adjust to a new life with a new girl. Deterring it away from a quick fix. Space and time and reading books has launched my growth. I've raised my standards. Pursuing a good girl who has her life and career together. Family oriented and many more. 1
ZiggyZoo Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 I'm gonna be annoying and useless here, because my take on all this is that you sure haven't moved on. It's been over a year and you still have enough emotions hanging around to call her a b*tch every other time you reference her and send her a happy birthday text to show you're over her. I don't get THAT, when I'm over my exs, I'm indifferent and sure as sh*t wouldn't bother even remembering when their birthdays are, much less going out of my way to show how "over" them I am. Plus, all this keeping tabs on her says a lot too. I blocked my ex as soon as we broke up to send the message that he's no longer a part of my life, and I didn't want to have even accidental contact with him. I don't see it as weak at all, and your story confirms that it was the right decision to make. I haven't once had to remind myself that I haven't thought of him. I just don't... it doesn't matter why she's doing this, following you. She may think that SHE has the upper hand, and is sending you messages to show how over you SHE is. The fact is, the opposite of love isn't hate, its indifference. And the fact that you posted here shows that you're not nearly there yet. I think it's great that you've taken steps towards improving yourself, but if you're not honest with yourself and how you're feeling, none of it matters. You're only screwing yourself, if you pretend to be over this ex. 5
pidgeon1010 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 April 1st you posted here trying to find meaning in her following you on snap chat. You claimed you had move on. Fast forward to now, you're doing the same thing. You're possibly trying to convince yourself that you have but the bottom line is you are still in contact with her via social media, you still believe you have to prove to her that you've moved on, you know how many boyfriends she's had since your breakup, etc etc. When you truly move on, you will be indifferent and not concerned about what any of her actions mean. You are still very much the dumpee because it sounds like she still has control over your emotions. I know you don't want the "move on" advice but I am sorry to say, that's what you need to do. It's not "annoying and useless" if you're willing to accept it. Best wishes! 3
Author Koans Posted June 10, 2015 Author Posted June 10, 2015 Thanx for all your replies guys. I'm still not about that blocking sh*t coz It's meaningless. Especially coming from her. Block me on FB but snoop my snapchat?. I'm tryna block you from my heart. I can assure you tho, she will never directly here from me again.
aloneinaz Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 Thanx for all your replies guys. I'm still not about that blocking sh*t coz It's meaningless. Especially coming from her. Block me on FB but snoop my snapchat?. I'm tryna block you from my heart. I can assure you tho, she will never directly here from me again. If you truly didn't care, you'd have no issue in blocking her. You wouldn't be posting here looking for everyone's insight. She dumped you my man, 1.5 years ago. You don't owe her anything, especially her trying to keep tabs on you. As the others have said and from what you are writing, you're far from over her. I'd NEVER wish someone who dumped me a happy birthday, EVVVEERR. They're telling you "I don't want you in my life anymore" when they are booting your butt to the curb. This site really reinforces the importance of VANISHING from a dumpers life. I did it, blocked her on everything because I didn't want to see, know or hear anything about her and it helped me heal quicker and move onto a much better relationship. 2 years since my ex ended us and 1.5 years after I told her no when she came back and I'm totally indifferent to her. I'm over it. I wish her luck and hope she's happy. I really do. If I saw her and a BF at a bar, I'd go say hi and introduce myself to her BF. I'd be very nice cause there's no emotions there anymore. Of course I'd walk away and say to myself "that poor bastard"! That's where you should be at after 1.5 years. We're just offering feedback and suggestions. You need to execute them are you're going to stay stuck w/these lingering emotions for her. 3
Author Koans Posted June 11, 2015 Author Posted June 11, 2015 Can I ask you a question Aloneinaz. If you blocked her from everything. How did you ever hear from her again. I'm kinda interested on your story.
aloneinaz Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 (edited) Can I ask you a question Aloneinaz. If you blocked her from everything. How did you ever hear from her again. I'm kinda interested on your story. When she ended us, I blocked her on Facebook and LinkedIn. Those were the only social sites I was on. After 5.5 months, she stopped by my place and knocked on my door. I heard the door bell but was napping and figured it was a solicitor. The next night, she sent a long apology text (I didn't block her number due to being 100% sure I'd never hear from her again) telling me she stopped by the day before. I ignored her. Two weeks later, she sent a VERY long email apologizing for her extremely poor behavior towards me, that she didn't realize what she had, begged for another chance, etc. I initially ignored that as well until MY GF blew a gasket. She asked me to send a short, curt email telling her I'd moved on and had a GF I was happy about. This didn't stop her, she kept emailing off/on over the next couple of months that I didn't reply to. She finally stopped. When she ended us, I absolutely vanished from her life. She heard NOTHING from me. I healed from it, dated 6-8 weeks later then met my now 21 month GF a few months after we broke up. My mindset was "you don't want me in your life, you got it".. I absolutely wasn't going to contact her again to stroke her ego, make myself look pathetic, clingy and needy nor did I even consider getting back with her. While I really loved her, she simply had too much baggage and too many issues. She would never change enough to make us compatible. I also believe once a relationship breaks up, it should stay that way. This site is a blinking billboard of posts where second chances were a disaster and never work. I've never had a relationship break and then work on the 2nd try. Edited June 11, 2015 by aloneinaz 1
Author Koans Posted June 12, 2015 Author Posted June 12, 2015 Prior to my break up, we were in San Francisco and overheard a lady who appeared to be in her 50s talk to the driver of the cable car. She said she remarried her husband of 24 years ago. That story that shocked us is something I used during the break up. "Hope it's not 24 years later", her, "no that's too long". She's saying all this while she was with another guy. I believe what you said is true. 2nd chances while you're young are too fast too soon. Especially when there's too much baggage.
Purepony Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 Right now I think you have bigger problems than your Love life and your ex please go back to school and work on your spelling and grammar!
Author Koans Posted June 13, 2015 Author Posted June 13, 2015 You forgot to put a period after ex. Just saying. 1
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