ccchinaman Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Hi all, I'm new to this forum and I'm hoping to get the help I'm after. No judgement please. This is a very long post so I'll put my question first Should I look for his facebook? is the question. Due to some circumstances I've been living in Europe alone for 5 months and I'm currently travelling alone. I arrived in Bratislava 2 days ago. When I got to my hostel room, the door was answered by someone sharing the room. Let's call him R. He was an alright guy - friendly and pretty cute as well. But at my age, 23, that's not really enough to get me interested. I went by my day as per usual, going out for lunch, walking around the city and running an important errand. I got back and collapsed onto bed and had originally intended to either go to sleep after that, or have a late night dessert. R was there, we talked about our day and had a very general conversation to kill off the awkward silence. He went out for about an hour and when he got back I was feeling like an ice cream and he didn't have plans. We went out. We went to a dessert place and ordered "spaghetti bolognese" ice cream. We chatted for the entire time, jokes and all. The conversation flowed effortlessly and we had fun. I started to see a shower of compliments such as "your accent is sexy" (I'm Australian, maybe that's why) and a small amount of teasing. He also started calling it an ice cream date. The night was still young and we went out for a walk afterwards. The compliments continued and became more overt, drawing similarities between us and the Lady and the Tramp cartoon and asking for a "Lady and the Tramp" moment. Our walk got extended when we got lost and took a detour on our way back into the city centre. We climbed a few statues and even broke one and called it our "piece of Bratislava". It was the most fun I'd had in months and the first time I was able to let loose in a while. Under the first statue I gave him an opportunity and he kissed me. Maybe I'm just used to crass Australian guys, but he was the most gentle I've met. I suspect he was also reasonably invested in me, and not just a smooth talker. Some of the things he said showed underconfidence/fear of rejection/whatever you call it. After that we continued our walk past all the statues, hooking up about half a dozen times along the way. We came across a kids' play area and went on a spinny wheel thing and a seesaw, and again spent a while on the seesaw making out. And then again we made out about a dozen times while walking around the streets of Bratislava trying to find some castle. Somewhere in between we started holding hands and really acting like a couple. We got lost somewhere and spent another half hour making out on some bench in a park. Things started to get heated and it was probably at that point I started making my own moves on him. He seemed enjoy it. He also seemed to have trouble holding himself back. We didn't sleep together due to the lack of privacy (our hostel room was shared with others) but he certainly did his fair share of dry humping me. And even then, he was one of the most gentle guys I've come across. Our night ended when I started to get really sleepy. We found our way back, making out half a dozen times on the way. He was reluctant about it so we made a few more detours. We got to outside the hostel and he wanted another kiss. And then again in the stairwell going up to our room, because of "if I don't get to kiss you again". We went to bed and I fell straight asleep. I don't know about him though, he did say something about not being able to sleep because of me. But it was 4am and I'd had a long day. I collapsed and probably snored the entire night. The next morning I woke up to people moving around and noise in general. R walked in around 8am. Feeling (and probably looking) like a zombie from the lack of sleep I sat up to say good morning. He turned around, smiled, kissed me, said he had an amazing night, and told me to go back to sleep. I wanted to ask for his number or some form of contact, but I just sat there dazed and half asleep. He finished packing, got his stuff and left for Prague and by the time I realised that was the last time I'll ever see him it was too late.
CarrieT Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 You will grow old with a lovely memory... Trust me - I'm 50 - I've had a handful of those type of encounters and they are a nice thing to warm the heart, but hardly anything to build a life relationship on. 1
Sunlight72 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 I agree with Carrie. I once had a similar experience with a woman whom I really clicked with, knowing I was only in Paris another couple days and it couldn't really develop into a long term relationship. It was an unexpected delight, really lovely, and I'm very glad I met her, but I was not moving to France or leaving my life here in the US. If your Mr. R were available and interested in a more developed relationship, after your great night together he would have given you 3 ways to contact him. He didn't, which tells me that for whatever reason, he is not ready to begin a more meaningful relationship with you. He shared a beautiful vignette with you, which he will remember and savor now and then for many years. I'm really glad for your wonderful night in Bratislava! It sounds like a delicious movie moment ... savor it
Author ccchinaman Posted June 9, 2015 Author Posted June 9, 2015 Thanks for the advice. And thanks for taking your time to read such a long post. Having lived in Amsterdam alone since January this year, it gets quite lonely and coming across someone I like is a rare occurrence in the first place. I must say it's a little heart breaking because he did talk about meeting up again in Amsterdam. Although I don't expect to make a life partner out of this guy, I'd hoped to keep in touch because people that I can let loose with are really rare. But I suppose that would be an impossibility unless I were to do something really creepy like calling around hostels in Amsterdam or something along those lines. In any case, thanks all. And any further advice would be highly appreciated too!
joseb Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 It almost sounds like the plot for a movie - before sunrise maybe?! I've had a couple of similar experiences while travelling. In one case I kept in contact and we met up a few more times. Yeah I dunno calling hostels seems a bit desperate?! Keep your eyes open and maybe you could have another similar experience. The last time I did this I gave the girl my email address early on. We had a really great night. But the fact she has my email and didn't email me does take a little gloss off of it (though there isn't much reason to email, we live on opposite sides of the world)
Author ccchinaman Posted June 9, 2015 Author Posted June 9, 2015 I thought about it. Looking online and trying different facebook searches. But there's a limit on how much I'm willing to do and physically going to a hostel or calling up hostels in the area is a bit too creepy even for me. Plus, it's probably only nice if it remains a memory and nothing more. But thanks all!
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