Mondmellonw Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 I just recently found out that the ex bf dumped me just to get together with a drunk girl. A friend of mine told me the news, since he didn't wanted me to get them from another people.... I really can't understand why, if I was respecting of him, if I tried to make things right (even tough I'm not the perfect partner, I tried, communicated and did everything I could). All I can think of is, why? Why would he dumped me for someone who is a well known heavy drinker who acts like she doesn't care about anything? (I actually know the girl and she isn't a catch at all. And no, I don't say this because I'm angry, I say it because I know her). It just hurts.
DexterLS Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 I just recently found out that the ex bf dumped me just to get together with a drunk girl. A friend of mine told me the news, since he didn't wanted me to get them from another people.... I really can't understand why, if I was respecting of him, if I tried to make things right (even tough I'm not the perfect partner, I tried, communicated and did everything I could). All I can think of is, why? Why would he dumped me for someone who is a well known heavy drinker who acts like she doesn't care about anything? (I actually know the girl and she isn't a catch at all. And no, I don't say this because I'm angry, I say it because I know her). It just hurts. It doesn't matter why he did what he did. He saw something in her, no matter what that is. How long has it been since you guys broke up? 1
mystikmind2005 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 sometimes men's taste in women simply defies all logical and reasonable explanation. Prince Charles most definitely comes to mind here! I'm still shaking my head over that one, WTF! 1
Author Mondmellonw Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 It doesn't matter why he did what he did. He saw something in her, no matter what that is. How long has it been since you guys broke up? It's been a month. He broke up with me. Then, two weeks ago, started asking people for my new phone number (I changed numbers and blocked him everywhere the same day he broke up with me). But I asked our mutual friends to NOT give him my number. And then, yesterday, I was told this, that he is with this new girl now.
sly_fly1 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 That's the call of the wild, maybe she's more fun, or better looking, who knows. All you need to know, is that if he's downgrading himself for some drunk chick, then it's his loss. When she cheats on him or dumps his ass. Make sure you leave a sock on your door so that when he comes back. He knows that ur screwing someone else. 1
DexterLS Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 It's been a month. He broke up with me. Then, two weeks ago, started asking people for my new phone number (I changed numbers and blocked him everywhere the same day he broke up with me). But I asked our mutual friends to NOT give him my number. And then, yesterday, I was told this, that he is with this new girl now. Probably just a rebound but whatever it is, stick with NC and move on. 2
Author Mondmellonw Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 That's the call of the wild, maybe she's more fun, or better looking, who knows. All you need to know, is that if he's downgrading himself for some drunk chick, then it's his loss. When she cheats on him or dumps his ass. Make sure you leave a sock on your door so that when he comes back. He knows that ur screwing someone else. I don't really plan on hooking up or having a relationship with someone else so soon. But thanks for the advice, anyways! 1
Author Mondmellonw Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 Probably just a rebound but whatever it is, stick with NC and move on. This is the second time I've done NC with an ex so it isn't as hard.. And I saw this coming (the break up, after something I posted in here) so again, it isn't as bad. Yet it still hurts. But thanks a lot.
mystikmind2005 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 This is the second time I've done NC with an ex so it isn't as hard.. And I saw this coming (the break up, after something I posted in here) so again, it isn't as bad. Yet it still hurts. But thanks a lot. Ahhhh, spotted a tiny bit of a red flag here... "I saw this coming". True or not, that kind of thinking does tent to have a very strong 'self for filling' element to it. A good relationship requires trust and confidence and a belief that things will work out. If a good relationship ends, you should be shocked not validated. 1
Author Mondmellonw Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 Ahhhh, spotted a tiny bit of a red flag here... "I saw this coming". True or not, that kind of thinking does tent to have a very strong 'self for filling' element to it. A good relationship requires trust and confidence and a belief that things will work out. If a good relationship ends, you should be shocked not validated. I trusted him, but he started to act a little weird and asked me to take a break. I wrote about this on a thread in these forum... And after that happened, I felt uneasy, even when I didn't wanted to.
mystikmind2005 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 I trusted him, but he started to act a little weird and asked me to take a break. I wrote about this on a thread in these forum... And after that happened, I felt uneasy, even when I didn't wanted to. It is very hard i know, i have been struggling with trust and belief since last Monday. My GF asked for 'some space' and usually we all know what that means. So my week last week was very bad, i wanted to end it actually because i could not stand the uncertainty anymore. But i had made a commitment to her, and i know that it is not always sunshine and roses in any relationship, that is why you have commitment, it is the one thing you can still hold on to when everything else fails and eventually the hard time will end one way or another. Incidentally, i am back talking with my GF this week and things seem much more positive. We have not talked through all the problem yet and i know emotions don't just bounce back at the flick of a switch, for me or her, but it's all good. 1
Author Mondmellonw Posted June 9, 2015 Author Posted June 9, 2015 It is very hard i know, i have been struggling with trust and belief since last Monday. My GF asked for 'some space' and usually we all know what that means. So my week last week was very bad, i wanted to end it actually because i could not stand the uncertainty anymore. But i had made a commitment to her, and i know that it is not always sunshine and roses in any relationship, that is why you have commitment, it is the one thing you can still hold on to when everything else fails and eventually the hard time will end one way or another. Incidentally, i am back talking with my GF this week and things seem much more positive. We have not talked through all the problem yet and i know emotions don't just bounce back at the flick of a switch, for me or her, but it's all good. Yeah, I completely understand. I really hoped that things would be just fine, as I tried to communicate and resolve, but he didn't wanted to; he wanted out and there was nothing I could do about it, except thinking for me. I hope everything goes fine with your GF! 1
SycamoreCircle Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Stop devaluing her. It's never difficult to find something wrong with a person. Do you think the way you see X is the way everyone else sees X? Rather, look at your ex. He dropped you to be with someone else. Would you do that to someone? If you did that to someone, how would it make you feel? What would you suspect about your behavior? Answering those questions will give you some insight into what sort of person he is. And it should aid you in letting go of such a person. 2
Author Mondmellonw Posted June 9, 2015 Author Posted June 9, 2015 Stop devaluing her. It's never difficult to find something wrong with a person. Do you think the way you see X is the way everyone else sees X? Rather, look at your ex. He dropped you to be with someone else. Would you do that to someone? If you did that to someone, how would it make you feel? What would you suspect about your behavior? Answering those questions will give you some insight into what sort of person he is. And it should aid you in letting go of such a person. Well, I just felt angry and needed to vent in here, but I haven't told anyone from my real life that she sucks or anything... I wouldn't do that. Like you say, it wouldn't help, and it would just make me look stupid. As for my ex, I already know the answers to those questions. It does help to let go, but honestly, it still hurts.
Author Mondmellonw Posted June 9, 2015 Author Posted June 9, 2015 Totally hurts doesn't it? Aw! Big hug xo It does, but I guess that I'm actually so bitter now that I do't really care about expressing sadness... I was sad the day he told me he needed space... But thanks
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