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The sad state to which humans have 'evolved' to...

BlackOpsZombieGirl

By BlackOpsZombieGirl
in General Relationship Discussion

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autumnnight Established Member

autumnnight

Posted
Posted
just makes me sad and empty

 

Just in case that word was missed.

 

For those who get what they need from sex with a stranger or hookup, that is great for you. I'm glad that meets a need you have.

 

For me, I need more. And there is nothing wrong with that.

 

My intent was not to say everyone who is not like me is shallow. I was simply commenting with MY perspective.

 

I was at a place one time where I was absolutely desperate for touch and connection. I was extremely depressed to the point of feeling suicidal (again - I was depressed for the majority of my marriage).

 

I was alone and had spent over a decade and a half with a man who just flat didn't care enough about me to meet my needs. So I hooked up. I felt worse and not better afterward because instead of being intimate, it just felt cheap... TO ME.

 

To each his own, and breathe.

MoreAmore Established Member

MoreAmore

Posted
Posted

 

My intent was not to say everyone who is not like me is shallow. I was simply commenting with MY perspective

 

To each his own, and breathe.

 

 

I'm sure most are responding to the OP.

 

I realize that people are human beings and that most of them "need" and want sex because they're "horny", because it "feels good" and, because they can have it whenever they want it. I just, Idk...I find it kind of disgusting (and sad) how some people don't want to have any measure of sexual self-control.:sick:

 

 

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BlackOpsZombieGirl Established Member

BlackOpsZombieGirl

Posted
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Posted
I don't find anything sad about consensual adults engaging in whatever activity they so please. I certainly will not judge for it. I'm in favor of everyone respecting safety (protection and discussions and frequent STI screenings) but I don't think a person who does not engage in casual sex is morally superior to someone who does, any more than I think someone who does not knit is morally superior to someone who does.

 

Casual sex is not my bag, but the engaging of it is not a statement on humanity of any sort- sad or otherwise. (If anything, I'm happy to see patriarchal and religious structures dismantled.) I somehow doubt that most of those who enjoy doing so are desperate for connection or feel empty for it, or they wouldn't continue.

 

In relationships, sex is desperately important to me. I'm certainly not going to be quick to dismiss it under any terms. It's pretty amazing.

 

 

But see, that's the thing - a LOT of people do NOT "respect safety" - they don't take ANY safety precautions, they do NOT take the proper precautions to prevent pregnancy and they do NOT test for STDs (and if they do, a LOT of people don't reveal that they're infected to other casual sex partners because if they did, a lot of them would be rejected).

 

Those are a few examples that I gave about how peoples' WRONG choices for wanting to have (and being desperate for) sex can RUIN other peoples' lives and can negatively affect them permanently. If these same "horny" and desperate people could control their sexual urges and make the RIGHT choices, then no one would get hurt and no one would be permanently (or temporarily) negatively affected by those peoples' choices.

 

^^^THIS is what I find sad; that most people do NOT make the RIGHT choices, and they don't because they think they're unable to control their sexual urges, so they consciously CHOOSE to make the WRONG choices regarding their 'need' to attain instant sexual gratification because they figure, 'what the hell, I'm a consenting adult, everyone else is doing it, it's an important part of life, it's biology, it feels good, it satisfies my sexual needs, so why should I care how I could negatively affect someone else's life'...

In your perfect world, you're in favor of everyone 'respecting safety'; but the fact of the matter is, most people do NOT - which is why STDs and unwanted pregnancies are freakin' sky HIGH. I noticed you didn't mention that when these 'consenting adults engage in whatever activity they please', some of these 'consenting adults' contribute to sex trafficking, the porn industry, committing adultery in their marriages and RUINING innocent peoples' lives - all because they choose NOT to control their sexual urges because they're in constant pursuit of relieving their 'horniness', having orgasms and desperately desiring 'human connection'.

 

Now...people like me, Toodaloo, Jen and others (and probably you too) on this thread and in this world who DO choose to control ourselves sexually, who DO respect others' safety and who do NOT (and would NOT ever) cheat on our partners nor contribute to any form of the horrid sex industries that are out there - THESE are the types of people who I consider to be 'consenting adults' who engage in sexual activities that do NOT cause other people temporary or permanent harm physically or emotionally. This is the crux of what my thread is about. ;)

 

Anyways, thanks for posting in my thread; I appreciate and respect all viewpoints, even if I do not agree with them.

 

 

@Jen: Thanks, and you're right - I don't 'scare easily' lol :cool: Dang girl, you seem to know me too well!

 

 

 

 

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jen1447 Established Member

jen1447

Posted
Posted
@Jen: Thanks, and you're right - I don't 'scare easily' lol :cool: Dang girl, you seem to know me too well!

 

 

 

 

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I know right? I got you sister. :)

Revolver Established Member

Revolver

Posted
Posted

Sex addiction is a huge problem in this country. I used to not take serious those athletes who would use it as an excuse for cheating but it's real

MoreAmore Established Member

MoreAmore

Posted
Posted
some of these 'consenting adults' contribute to sex trafficking, the porn industry, committing adultery in their marriages and RUINING innocent peoples' lives

 

 

 

.

 

I have no problem with the porn industry or prostitution where it is adults who chose to be involved. I have a friend who was a prostitute and completely happy with her choice. She saved and invested enough money that she never has to work again except where she chooses.

 

In sex trafficking, that involves non-consent.

Even adultery involves a non-consenting adult (the spouse being cheated on). Sleeping with someone knowing you aren't safe but not telling also takes away the other person's right to properly consent. That's really nothing to do with what I said.

  • Like 1
autumnnight Established Member

autumnnight

Posted
Posted

When push comes to shove, the only person I can control is me.

 

It is understandable to want to rail against the hordes of "they" who I think are doing it wrong, but in the end it's just bluster and beating against the wind. I can't control "them," only me.

 

Typically when I find myself ranting with emotion it is because, at least in a tiny place, I really kind of like being better than "they."

TaraMaiden2 Established Member

TaraMaiden2

Posted
Posted

"The sad state TO which humans have evolved...."

 

OR

 

"The sad state which humans have evolved TO..."

 

You can't have two 'to's....

 

 

Evolution has brought us to fine language skills and Grammar.

 

It's a shame to waste them....:p:D

Timshel Established Member

Timshel

Posted
Posted
But see, that's the thing - a LOT of people do NOT "respect safety" - they don't take ANY safety precautions, they do NOT take the proper precautions to prevent pregnancy and they do NOT test for STDs (and if they do, a LOT of people don't reveal that they're infected to other casual sex partners because if they did, a lot of them would be rejected).

 

Those are a few examples that I gave about how peoples' WRONG choices for wanting to have (and being desperate for) sex can RUIN other peoples' lives and can negatively affect them permanently. If these same "horny" and desperate people could control their sexual urges and make the RIGHT choices, then no one would get hurt and no one would be permanently (or temporarily) negatively affected by those peoples' choices.

 

^^^THIS is what I find sad; that most people do NOT make the RIGHT choices, and they don't because they think they're unable to control their sexual urges, so they consciously CHOOSE to make the WRONG choices regarding their 'need' to attain instant sexual gratification because they figure, 'what the hell, I'm a consenting adult, everyone else is doing it, it's an important part of life, it's biology, it feels good, it satisfies my sexual needs, so why should I care how I could negatively affect someone else's life'...

In your perfect world, you're in favor of everyone 'respecting safety'; but the fact of the matter is, most people do NOT - which is why STDs and unwanted pregnancies are freakin' sky HIGH. I noticed you didn't mention that when these 'consenting adults engage in whatever activity they please', some of these 'consenting adults' contribute to sex trafficking, the porn industry, committing adultery in their marriages and RUINING innocent peoples' lives - all because they choose NOT to control their sexual urges because they're in constant pursuit of relieving their 'horniness', having orgasms and desperately desiring 'human connection'.

 

Now...people like me, Toodaloo, Jen and others (and probably you too) on this thread and in this world who DO choose to control ourselves sexually, who DO respect others' safety and who do NOT (and would NOT ever) cheat on our partners nor contribute to any form of the horrid sex industries that are out there - THESE are the types of people who I consider to be 'consenting adults' who engage in sexual activities that do NOT cause other people temporary or permanent harm physically or emotionally. This is the crux of what my thread is about. ;)

 

Anyways, thanks for posting in my thread; I appreciate and respect all viewpoints, even if I do not agree with them.

 

 

@Jen: Thanks, and you're right - I don't 'scare easily' lol :cool: Dang girl, you seem to know me too well!

.

 

Agree with all of this. I have a high sex drive, within a monogamous and committed relationship. Safety and pregnancy issues addressed before activity.

 

I wonder though if some people are sincerely more diffused in their sexual desires. Perhaps it isn't a result of modern society, though more permissive, certainly has always occurred.

 

I need, like Autumn, an emotional connection. Others seem to genuinely not which baffles me but makes it no less authentic for them.

 

Then the issues of ailments and pregnancy come into play and that would depend on the overall maturity and character of a person.

 

For example, I horseback ride and will be cautious but will go full tilt bareback over rough terrain. Many experienced riders would not. Maybe a poor analogy but I am wondering if there may be three dimensions: Monogamy, Responsibility and Addiction?

jen1447 Established Member

jen1447

Posted
Posted
but will go full tilt bareback over rough terrain. Many experienced riders would not.

Hey - no sexual euphemisms in the sex-bashing thread! ;)

  • Like 1
Methodical Established Member

Methodical

Posted
Posted (edited)
I'm talking about people who are married and - because they choose not to control their sexual urges - they end up cheating on their spouse or habitually using pornography. And studies and research have shown that either or both of those 'choices' end up ruining marriages, their childrens' lives and the innocent spouse's life...and for what? Because the other person couldn't be mature enough, possess enough integrity and decency and be conscious enough to control their own sexual urges?:confused:[/Quote]

 

The flip side of this is that there are many spouses who use sex for manipulative reasons, to blackmail, and as a form of punishment. I'm not talking about a couple who have a disagreement and don't have sex for a few days because they are still hot under the collar. I'm talking about manipulative people who withhold sex for months because they can. It doesn't affect them one way or another. Perhaps their viewpoint is that, yes, they can masturbate and take care of their physical urge and still "control" their spouse's happiness to a degree. Personally, I didn't get married to live with a roommate and share expenses. (Thankfully, that's not an issue for me :p) But, for many married couples, this is their reality. It's not that they can't control their sexual urges, it's their partner's who are trying to control them.

 

In that case, I say get divorced and move on, but there are people who will stay in a sh*tty marriage because kids are involved, and/or because only one person works, and between paying alimony and child support, that person wouldn't be able to support him/her self at the end of the day.

 

Given the scenario you list, I agree, but it's not always cut and dry. In the reverse example above, the person withholding for maliciousness is the one who is selfish and immature. And, it's wrong to expect a person to walk around for the rest of their life as a "married" monk or nun because of such manipulative tactics.

 

In another thread I said, if, for instance, I was no longer capable of having sex with my spouse, I wouldn't want or expect him to live his life as a non-consenting monk. I'd agree to an open relationship because ultimately we do have biological urges to procreate and when those urges aren't met, resentment builds and that breeds hatred.

Edited by Methodical
  • Like 3
Timshel Established Member

Timshel

Posted
Posted
Hey - no sexual euphemisms in the sex-bashing thread! ;)

 

I like to ride how I like to ride. You are truly scrumps. :)

jen1447 Established Member

jen1447

Posted
Posted

Aw, you're delish too. :) And your riding technique sounds truly inspirational. :bunny:

hotpotato Established Member

hotpotato

Posted
Posted (edited)
True and not true. If I hook up with a really hot girl, she better cancel the rest of her plans for the night...and probably tomorrow's plans too. If I hook up with some ugly chick from the bar, I'm gonna try and get this done and over with.

 

:lmao:

 

 

Realdolls do nothing for me. I'd rather hook up with an ugly chick that's bad in bed. At least she is real.
Maybe in like 30 years they'll be popular. It's not much different from porn in many ways.

 

 

It's tough to describe what you learn about someone during sex, but I still feel that I do. A woman opens herself up to you, literally and figuratively. It's not like I can tell she likes eating pizza because she enjoys a particular sex act, but there is still much to be learned from sex. It is a completely different side to her that cannot be experienced any other way. All of those little details interest me immensely.

 

Interesting. Spoken like a true man hehe :p

 

Ha! Spoken like a true woman. :p

 

If I get a girl knocked up, there is a good chance I will end up paying her child support for a huge portion of my life. After seeing so many single moms talk serious smack about their "sperm donor" I have no interest in this arrangement. Paying for a woman to get her nails done, her to drink at the club, buy nice clothes, ect because I got unlucky and knocked her up? That sucks.

Being a single parent also sucks even with child support, abortion sucks, labor sucks. You make it sound fun, but a lot of single parents really struggle. *shrugs*

 

 

Men fear STD's, but we don't start thinking clearly until after sex. Penis convinces us to have sex with some girl, and after the deed is done, then we start worrying about STD's and pregnancy.
Stds don't affect men the way the affect women, so I can see how men could be less concerned about it. It's almost like I'd have to explain the birds and bees to some guys. "Birth control does not prevent stds" It's like their 13 and never had sex ed. Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Fix quote
craw Established Member

craw

Posted
Posted
I'm a 36 year old guy. I have no problems controlling my sexual urges. No biggie. If I'm feelin the urge, I know I can hang in there until I get home to my GF.

 

Me at 19...different story. I used to walk around with erections so hard that they were physically uncomfortable. This was a pretty big portion of my day. I used to actually catch myself holding it without thinking. Not only did I have sex with my GF at the time multiple times a day, every day, but I cheated on her too.

 

I'm not saying it's impossible for some people to control their urges, but it's pretty darn hard. Literally.

 

I need to find a 19 year old. One who knows what he's doing too.

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BlackOpsZombieGirl Established Member

BlackOpsZombieGirl

Posted
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Posted (edited)
Aw, you're delish too. :) And your riding technique sounds truly inspirational. :bunny:

 

You're such a huge flirt, Jen! I doubt anyone would be able to resist your charms lol :p:bunny:

 

 

 

 

I need to find a 19 year old. One who knows what he's doing too.

 

At 24 years of age, you should want to be sexually intimate with guys your age or older. So, not only do I think it's very inappropriate that you'd want to have sex with a teenager (even if they are above the "legal age" of 18), but I'm sure most teen males lack having much sexual experience to the degree that they may not even know what to do with a naked woman, let alone to "know what he's doing" in terms of pleasing her and making her have an orgasm. So, good luck with that. :rolleyes:

 

 

 

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Edited by BlackOpsZombieGirl
autumnnight Established Member

autumnnight

Posted
Posted
Not only do I think it's very inappropriate that you'd want to have sex with a teenager (even if they are above the "legal age" of 18), but I'm sure most teen males lack having much sexual experience to the degree that they may not even know what to do with a naked woman, let alone to "know what he's doing" in terms of pleasing her and making her have an orgasm. So, good luck with that.

 

Just curious:

 

Why is what craw does any of your business?

 

Why is it inappropriate for craw to want to find an adult male?

  • Like 1
jen1447 Established Member

jen1447

Posted
Posted
You're such a huge flirt, Jen! I doubt anyone would be able to resist your charms lol :p:bunny:

 

.

 

That's what I'm hoping. :p

 

(You're right tho, they don't stand a chance. :cool:)

  • Like 1
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BlackOpsZombieGirl Established Member

BlackOpsZombieGirl

Posted
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Posted
Just curious:

 

Why is what craw does any of your business?

 

Why is it inappropriate for craw to want to find an adult male?

 

 

Why is what I write to a member who has posted in my thread any of YOUR business? :confused:

 

I told her my opinion that *I* think it's inappropriate for her to want to have sex with a teenager, even if the "law" says that anyone over the age of "18" has magically turned into an "adult".

 

I notice that you seem to dislike almost anything that I post to someone and that you have nothing better to do than to comment negatively on the things that I post! It's weird...and it shows that you lack etiquette and self-control with the way you react and respond to my opinions.

 

If you can't respond to me in a polite and respectful manner like most normal people do, then I'd rather you not respond to anything I write at all, especially if you're writing in any of MY threads, okay? If you can't handle that, then I'm going to ignore you from now on. And, if you keep antagonizing me the way that you've been doing, then I'm going to report you to a Mod.

 

Understand? Good.

 

 

 

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EngnimaticResponse Established Member

EngnimaticResponse

Posted
Posted
You're such a huge flirt, Jen! I doubt anyone would be able to resist your charms lol :p:bunny:

 

 

 

 

 

 

At 24 years of age, you should want to be sexually intimate with guys your age or older. So, not only do I think it's very inappropriate that you'd want to have sex with a teenager (even if they are above the "legal age" of 18), but I'm sure most teen males lack having much sexual experience to the degree that they may not even know what to do with a naked woman, let alone to "know what he's doing" in terms of pleasing her and making her have an orgasm. So, good luck with that. :rolleyes:

 

 

 

.

 

I wasn't really any better at 24,25,26, or 27 than I was at 19.

 

And we can't Make you have an orgasm, we can only Help you have an orgasm. Jeez, woman.

 

Things you can say to a dog that don't work on a woman: *Holds out his hand* "COME!" ;)

StanMusial Established Member

StanMusial

Posted
Posted

Many people just don't have anything else to do or any kind of purpose in life so they just fall back to animal instinct. I get where OP is coming from. It would be nice to eat chocolate cake all day, washing it down with beer, between bouts of intercourse then sleep until noon the next day but dang I gots shlt I gots to do.

  • Like 1
autumnnight Established Member

autumnnight

Posted
Posted
Many people just don't have anything else to do or any kind of purpose in life so they just fall back to animal instinct. I get where OP is coming from. It would be nice to eat chocolate cake all day, washing it down with beer, between bouts of intercourse then sleep until noon the next day but dang I gots shlt I gots to do.

 

 

Actually, the words were not I think it's inappropriate.

 

They were "not only is it inappropriate..."

 

As far as the rest, I actually like a lot of what the OP posts. I also share her opinion of casual, indiscriminate sex and self control.

 

We see what we want to see.

elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

Posted
Posted

I took craws comment to be a joke.

Saying

"Give me a guy with an almost permanent erection a la Enigma32 at 19"

 

NOT

"I want to literally sleep with a teenager"

  • Like 2
katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

Posted
Posted
Different ways to "connect" with someone besides sex?

 

Ok, whatever....

 

That's what lameo people who don't have passion in their souls fall back on.

 

Sex with someone you are into is the bee's knees...

 

I was listening to my fav podcaster and this woman and her husband set up like and hr or so a few times a week where on her night they do what she wants and on his night they do what he wants....cuz, they are trying to make time for each other although they have a baby.

 

Well, on "her" nights she literally, wants to sit around and "talk" with him :rolleyes:

 

But, on "his" nights they are having sex....and that's me!!!

 

Who the f- wants to sit around and freakin' talk instead knocking boots?!? Chat time? Ok, I Ill be saying Krazy stuff in Spanish while he's humping the crap out of me and licking my neck...ok?

 

Oh, more "talk", time? Ok, we can cuddle and talk while taking a break between humping and me getting him a beer and/or coffee for me....then, we can start at it again.

 

***pfft***

 

Ways to connect other than sex? Pleeeze...all these women out there throwing away good penises...send them my way and let the women sit around and talk to themselves all day/night :rolleyes:

 

Wow, that was deep....:eek::bunny::eek:

petertemplar Member

petertemplar

Posted
Posted

 

I told her my opinion that *I* think it's inappropriate for her to want to have sex with a teenager, even if the "law" says that anyone over the age of "18" has magically turned into an "adult".

.

 

I like how you put the "law" in scare quotes.

 

"I'LL MAKE MY OWN DAMN LAWS!"

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