The sad state to which humans have 'evolved' to...

June 8, 2015

I realize that people are human beings and that most of them "need" and want sex because they're "horny", because it "feels good" and, because they can have it whenever they want it. I just, Idk...I find it kind of disgusting (and sad) how some people don't want to have any measure of sexual self-control.

I mean seriously, most (if not all) people get "horny" at some point during the course of their lives. But, why is this always at the very top of peoples' "Things That MUST Be Taken Care Of" list?! There is masturbation and.....wait for it......abstinence! Just because a person is "horny", that doesn't mean they ALWAYS have to satisfy their sexual urges, does it? They can do other things in their life that will take their minds OFF of the act of having sex and orgasms. They can engage in interesting hobbies and NON-sexual activities, hanging out with family or friends, helping out other people or exercising, or etc. etc. ...there are a plethora of things a person can do that doesn't always have to be centered around sexual things, sexual feelings and sexual intercourse!

And, the fact that there are people who are infected with STDs that are engaging in "casual sex" should be enough of a deterrent for most people to not always be thinking about "hooking up" because they're looking for that "human connection". There are plenty of other healthy and satisfying ways to "connect" with another human being that don't involve being naked with them and inserting their genitals into them or having someone else's genitals being inserted inside of them. Two people can hug, they can cuddle, they can watch tv together, they can have light and deep conversations about things that interest them and they can do fun things together. I think people (especially men) place wayyyy too much importance and emphasis on having sexual intercourse with any person they find physically attractive.

There are more important and more FUN things in life that a person can do to find that "human connection" with someone than to have sexual intercourse with them every chance they get. I'd rather have the most important connection with a person - emotionally and spiritually - before I have sex with them. Having "casual sex" with a person I'm physically attracted to but do not have an emotional connection with would be (and would feel)....completely empty. But, that's just how I feel. To each their own.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to have a sexual connection with another human being every so often; as I've stated earlier, it's part of being human. It just behooves me how much importance and focus a LOT of people place on having sex with a person - just about any person - just because they feel "horny" and want to see and feel a naked body against them. I'm so glad and grateful that I'm not that type of person and that there are some people out there who aren't like that either. That is the type of guy I hope to meet someday in the future. And, if I never end up meeting a guy like this (or if such a man doesn't exist in my locality), then I'll be just as happy and at peace remaining single and being surrounded by the people in my life who love and care about me and who want to occasionally do fun and interesting things with me. I'd rather have that kind of "human connection" in my life than having meaningless, empty (and potentially health-threatening) sex with complete strangers.

Okay, I'm done with my rant now.

.

June 8, 2015

Differing libidos Bopz ....sometimes it's beyond our control.

June 8, 2015

Differing libidos Bopz ....sometimes it's beyond our control.

Yeah, I realize some people have higher libidos than others do, Jen. But seriously, do you really believe that a person can't control their own sexual urges? After all, we aren't animals...we're human beings! Even though we each have that primal biological instinct to "reproduce", aren't there ever moments in time that a person is consciously able to sexually control themselves?? If not, that's pretty damn scary.

.

June 8, 2015

Yeah, I realize some people have higher libidos than others do, Jen. But seriously, do you really believe that a person can't control their own sexual urges? After all, we aren't animals...we're human beings! Even though we each have that primal biological instinct to "reproduce", aren't there ever moments in time that a person is consciously able to sexually control themselves?? If not, that's pretty damn scary.

Everybody develops their own level of sexual self-control. It's natural to feel urges, and to want to do things. Sexuality is a normal, and healthy part of growth.

People are going to do whatever they want to do to satisfy their biological need for intercourse, foreplay, and what else. It's just human nature; and even though we've evolved, we still have that part in our brain that has the natural urge to procreate to be the ultimate species of survival (for some reason). Some people don't even procreate, yet enjoy how intercourse feels on their body. It's just human nature to enjoy pleasure. That's all there is to this.

I personally think it's when a person has no urge whatsoever, that we should worry about it - really.

June 8, 2015

Yeah, I realize some people have higher libidos than others do, Jen. But seriously, do you really believe that a person can't control their own sexual urges? After all, we aren't animals...we're human beings! Even though we each have that primal biological instinct to "reproduce", aren't there ever moments in time that a person is consciously able to sexually control themselves?? If not, that's pretty damn scary.

.

I think most people (with a few exceptions like genuine sex addicts) can control their sexual urges, but the power of a person's libido does dictate how difficult it is to muster that control. And when you consider that giving in isn't really the end of the world in most people's minds, you start to wonder why make that effort at all. (add all hot and bothered to that and it often = lost cause.)

June 8, 2015

There are many ways of deeply connecting with someone, and sex is only one of them.

Exploring the other avenues is absolutely worthwhile.

Immensely so.

June 8, 2015

Yeah, I realize some people have higher libidos than others do, Jen. But seriously, do you really believe that a person can't control their own sexual urges? After all, we aren't animals...we're human beings! Even though we each have that primal biological instinct to "reproduce", aren't there ever moments in time that a person is consciously able to sexually control themselves?? If not, that's pretty damn scary.

I can control my sexual urges, no problem. But masturbation is no substitute for sex and going without sex makes me miserable.

Why do you feel the need to pass judgment on others for what makes them happy? Not all women want sex. Some become nuns. You have options.

Unless someone has forced themselves on you, I don't understand why all the drama.

June 8, 2015

I realize that people are human beings and that most of them "need" and want dinner because they're "hungry", because it "tastes good" and, because they can have it whenever they want it. I just, Idk...I find it kind of disgusting (and sad) how some people don't want to have any measure of prandial self-control.

I mean seriously, most (if not all) people get "hungry" at some point during the course of their lives. But, why is this always at the very top of peoples' "Things That MUST Be Taken Care Of" list?! There are snacks and.....wait for it......abstinence! Just because a person is "hungry", that doesn't mean they ALWAYS have to satisfy their dining urges, does it? They can do other things in their life that will take their minds OFF of the act of having dinner and deliciousness. They can engage in interesting hobbies and NON-eating activities, hanging out with family or friends, helping out other people or exercising, or etc. etc. ...there are a plethora of things a person can do that doesn't always have to be centered around food things, food feelings and food ingestion!

And, the fact that there are dishes which are undercooked and infested with salmonella should be enough of a deterrent for most people to not always be thinking about "eating up" because they're looking for that "gustatory experience". There are plenty of other healthy and satisfying ways to get nutrition that don't involve putting dead plant and animal matter in your gaping orifice.

June 8, 2015

I'm not saying it's impossible for some people to control their urges, but it's pretty darn hard. Literally.

At 19, I could control it but damned near went out of my mind if I wasn't getting any. I can remember being so horny that yeah, it hurt. It was all consuming and a terrible way to live.

June 8, 2015

Intercourse is beautiful, and there's honestly no other possible connection greater than this with a spouse that deeply loves you, for all of you that there is.

I'm not speaking about meaningless, sloppy, one-night-stand(s) that some people constantly engage in. I mean intimating creating an act so beautiful, so timeless that you literally feel like you and your spouse are one person in that moment you share in bed.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, could ever substitute a need to be close to your spouse like this. It will never, ever be substituted in my opinion, because no other act gives the same experience and the same intense emotions that intercourse does when you share it with somebody that has ultimately become a part of you, has become your partner in more than just a romantic means.

I honestly believe that intercourse is a beautiful act, is the source of true defined emotional feelings expressed from one partner to the other. This is known as love making, an act many people fail to realize happens when you love somebody so deeply, so intensely that every sexual act you thought was disgusting, repulsive, animinalistic becomes the most incredible experience of your life.

Sex is just Sex. There are no intense emotions involved, and although many get confused, it's not love making. Love making is when you develop an intense, overwhelming connection with the person you kiss every single day, gives you a spark so powerful, so misunderstood that it makes your knees physically weak they can't support you. Sex is sloppy, Sex is a quickie simply to get laid.

June 8, 2015

After all, we aren't animals...we're human beings!

.

This is where you're going off the trail.

We are animals.

June 8, 2015

This is where you're going off the trail.

We are animals.

Right on dude!

We are. And we have needs.

Now where did I put my bananas...?

June 8, 2015

Sex is just Sex. There are no intense emotions involved, and although many get confused, it's not love making. Love making is when you develop an intense, overwhelming connection with the person you kiss every single day, gives you a spark so powerful, so misunderstood that it makes your knees physically weak they can't support you. Sex is sloppy, Sex is a quickie simply to get laid.

No one was talking about making love. We were talking about sex.

And I completely disagree. Sex with a loved one is wonderful. But so is just sex. Too bad you have missed out on so much. I'm sorry.

June 8, 2015

I hope you do realize that sex is one of the most powerful forces in the human psyche. It's been said if we spent as much time in pursuit of success as we do in the pursuit of sex, there would be no poverty.

Many people do not know how to control their sex drive. Most people lack self-discipline. Sex can be one of the greatest allies or one of our greatest enemies. Overindulgence in sex is responsible for a large amount of faults in relationships, politics, and economic maters.

If you do not learn to master the sex drive or out it towards good use, it will put you to good use.

June 8, 2015

I'm a 36 year old guy. I have no problems controlling my sexual urges. No biggie. If I'm feelin the urge, I know I can hang in there until I get home to my GF.

Me at 19...different story. I used to walk around with erections so hard that they were physically uncomfortable. This was a pretty big portion of my day. I used to actually catch myself holding it without thinking. Not only did I have sex with my GF at the time multiple times a day, every day, but I cheated on her too.

I'm not saying it's impossible for some people to control their urges, but it's pretty darn hard. Literally.

Thanks for posting on my thread, and yeah, I get where you're coming from. But I'm not talking about teenagers, because we all know that they're developing individuals who aren't fully adults yet and whose bodies are inundated with hormones and physical changes. I'm talking about fully psychologically developed ADULTS who don't make the decision to reign in their sexual urges most of the time.

Regarding the parts of your post that I've highlighted in bold - what if, for some reason, you didn't see your GF when you got home and you were feeling very "horny"? What if she was gone (for whatever reason) or what if she was sick? What if you couldn't have sex with her for a day or two (or possibly even longer)? Are you the type of guy to control your sexual urge to either masturbate to make the urge go away or to just engage in other non-sexual activities to forget about your "horniness"? <<< This is what I'm talking about with people in general. And what I've read about and heard, is that there are some people who do NOT want to control themselves sexually; to the point that they'd actually cheat on their partner (if they're in a relationship) or they would sleep with random strangers (if they're single) just because they were "horny" and "couldn't stand it any longer".

It's good to hear that you're one of those people who CAN (and who CHOOSE TO) control themselves sexually. Like Satu has stated, there are other deeper and more beautiful ways of connecting with another human being and those people who choose not to control their sexual urges should look into exploring those other types of connections.

Everybody develops their own level of sexual self-control. It's natural to feel urges, and to want to do things. Sexuality is a normal, and healthy part of growth.

People are going to do whatever they want to do to satisfy their biological need for intercourse, foreplay, and what else. It's just human nature; and even though we've evolved, we still have that part in our brain that has the natural urge to procreate to be the ultimate species of survival (for some reason). Some people don't even procreate, yet enjoy how intercourse feels on their body. It's just human nature to enjoy pleasure. That's all there is to this.

I personally think it's when a person has no urge whatsoever, that we should worry about it - really.

Sexuality is only a normal and healthy part of growth IF it doesn't nearly encompass a person's entire thoughts and actions during the hours that they're awake; but I understand what you're saying and I agree with it for the most part. It is natural for human beings to enjoy sexual pleasure. I just wish some people wouldn't negatively affect others with their constant desire to enjoy that pleasure.

I can control my sexual urges, no problem. But masturbation is no substitute for sex and going without sex makes me miserable.

Why do you feel the need to pass judgment on others for what makes them happy? Not all women want sex. Some become nuns. You have options.

Unless someone has forced themselves on you, I don't understand why all the drama.

Hey Robert, thanks for your contribution to my thread. I'm not passing judgment on anyone, I just made this thread to vent my feelings on this topic. As I've stated in my OP, "To each their own". And you're right, not all women want sex, they become nuns; and not all men want sex either, they become monks.

It's not about whether someone has 'forced themselves on me'. It's about how people who choose not to control their sexual urges sometimes affect others negatively in many ways; such as sex trafficking, infidelity, transmitting STDs and ruining marriages and relationships. But hey, since you said you have no problem controlling your sexual urges, then you don't fall into this segment of society and therefore, the topic of this thread doesn't apply to you.

.

June 8, 2015

I suppose I'm of a conflicting mind about it...

I have a very high sex drive. I'd have sex multiple times a day if logistics allowed for it.

And yet, I've been known to go several years without sex.

I simultaneously have a very high drive, yet can have excellent control over it when I have no choice.

June 8, 2015

Humans are generally pleasure-and-comfort seeking creatures. It's not just in sex we have poor discipline! Eating the wrong things, smoking, thrill-seeking, going back to toxic yet exciting or comfortable relationships...choosing to Netflix binge rather than run those miles. We do what feels good a lot of the time, not what is necessarily "good for us".

I'm of the thought that as long as no one gets hurt, it's none of my concern. But trying to change this part of human nature is impossible.

June 8, 2015

Graunger, at the age of 16 or 17, was convicted of "buggery with a mare, a cow, two goats, divers sheepe, two calves, and a turkey", according to court records of 7 September 1642

Wiki

Back on the farm, it was fairly common for young men to do sheep... or sister... or cousin.

Long before that, the biggest and the strongest male took whomever he wanted, whether she wanted to or not.

Not sure about the "evolved to" part...

June 9, 2015

Of course we can control it. But we live in a world where obesity is becoming normal and personal debt is ever on the rise. Self control isn't exactly fashionable at the moment...

June 9, 2015

You seem to be generalizing the entire adult population based of either a personal experience of yours that negatively affected you regarding sex, something you've read or seen leading you to believe that EVERYONE is like that , or just don't have the interest in sex that others do. Either way I think it's unfair to condemn or question those who have a different libido or mindset when it comes to sex.

The idea that a majority of the adult population is incapable of controlling themselves sexually is absurd in my opinion. Our entire existence is based on procreation and the coming together of men and women. Do bad things happen regarding sex? Of course.. They happen every day but it's not the norm. The majority of people are responsible when it comes to sex and act accordingly. The era we live in had made the world a smaller place, thus giving us access to all sorts of opinions, ways of life, etc. Bc of this sex has exploded mainstream because let's face it. It's a billion dollar industry. People want it, people enjoy it, people strive to have it.

Because 1 couple is into BDSM or another couple is into role playing, or bc a man masturbates a lot. Does that make them bad people? No, we as humans have the remarkable trait of individuality. Everyone has different interest, different likes/dislikes. You clearly do not put the emphasis of sex that high on your priority list. That's fine. But if my gf and I both work great jobs, care for our families, and are genuine good members of society yet we have sex 4 times a day. Does that make us less than the couple who is abstaining till marriage? The world evolves, it's bo longer the Middle Ages where sex is taboo and people wait till marriage.

We naturally want to explore and try new things. Do some people abuse that? Yes. People abuse and mishandle every aspect of life. That is never going to change unfortunately but we have seen advances in the ability to prevent diseases, resources for those with addictions or issues to reach out and get help, etc. But let's not condemn sex and mark it as the "root evil and destructive cause of today's society".

You don't like sex. Maybe if someone someday whom you fall in love with or just cross paths and have a connection you've never felt before gives you multiple orgasms your mindset may change. If not that's fine too. Just caution on lumping together your predispositions with the general majority of humans. You could easily replace "sex" in your OP with "video games" and make the same argument about it taking away from people's interactions. Just sayin

Edited June 9, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Paragraphs!

June 9, 2015

Just by pure randomness another thread I looked at was one where you posed a question "can mind blowing sex blind someone of their partners faults". So I may change my reply above but mainly just curious as in that post you clearly seem to be active sexually and (no offense intended) seem to be fantastic at it based of your ex's description you listed. I'm just trying to understand the drastic change of view on sexual importance of a relationship and in society. Again i apologize if this comes off rude, that is not my intention. Just curious as to how you came to your stance on the matter.

June 9, 2015

You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals so let's do it like they do on the discovery channel!

June 9, 2015

That situation I referred to back when I was 19, that didn't really go away until I hit 30 or so. It slacked off bit by bit each year, but even well into my 20's I was pretty bad at controlling my sex drive. I guess I was lucky, because both of the GF's I had during my 20's were total sex fiends. They were about as bad as me, and we got it on like I just got out of prison. Every day.

When I was single, I spent almost all of my energy looking to get laid. I hit the clubs every weekend, and during the week, I would hang out online and meet women there. I work at a resort, so when tourists start coming, so do I

Around 30, I feel like I had an awakening. I actually started thinking about other things. Until then, I was a huge slacker. I have since been going back to school, working on my career more, just living a fuller life.

I would not cheat on my GF now. In fact, we don't even do it every day. I can wait until tomorrow or the next day, no big deal. Back when I was younger though? I cheated on most women I dated. No excuses, I was just a crappy boyfriend.

The best way to describe being a man is to imagine having an evil siamese twin who is smarter than you are.

If you think it's disconcerting to start your adult life as a sex fiend and only slowly come to your senses by age 30, try starting your adult life as a sex fiend and slowly becoming a sex maniac by age 30 with the prospect of becoming a sex lunatic by age 40. That's moreso the path women take sexually. (I do think guys actually start off hornier tho, and more capable than later in life of course.)

Just by pure randomness another thread I looked at was one where you posed a question "can mind blowing sex blind someone of their partners faults". So I may change my reply above but mainly just curious as in that post you clearly seem to be active sexually and (no offense intended) seem to be fantastic at it based of your ex's description you listed. I'm just trying to understand the drastic change of view on sexual importance of a relationship and in society. Again i apologize if this comes off rude, that is not my intention. Just curious as to how you came to your stance on the matter.

I don't speak for Bopz but I'm pretty sure she is a very sexual woman. I don't know that she's changing her tune here, she's just ....more thoughtful than many people, let's put it that way.

June 9, 2015

Different ways to "connect" with someone besides sex?

Ok, whatever....

That's what lameo people who don't have passion in their souls fall back on.

Sex with someone you are into is the bee's knees...

I was listening to my fav podcaster and this woman and her husband set up like and hr or so a few times a week where on her night they do what she wants and on his night they do what he wants....cuz, they are trying to make time for each other although they have a baby.

Well, on "her" nights she literally, wants to sit around and "talk" with him

But, on "his" nights they are having sex....and that's me!!!

Who the f- wants to sit around and freakin' talk instead knocking boots?!? Chat time? Ok, I Ill be saying Krazy stuff in Spanish while he's humping the crap out of me and licking my neck...ok?

Oh, more "talk", time? Ok, we can cuddle and talk while taking a break between humping and me getting him a beer and/or coffee for me....then, we can start at it again.

***pfft***

Ways to connect other than sex? Pleeeze...all these women out there throwing away good penises...send them my way and let the women sit around and talk to themselves all day/night

June 9, 2015

Different ways to "connect" with someone besides sex?

Ok, whatever....

That's what lameo people who don't have passion in their souls fall back on.

Sex with someone you are into is the bee's knees...

I was listening to my fav podcaster and this woman and her husband set up like and hr or so a few times a week where on her night they do what she wants and on his night they do what he wants....cuz, they are trying to make time for each other although they have a baby.

Well, on "her" nights she literally, wants to sit around and "talk" with him

But, on "his" nights they are having sex....and that's me!!!

Who the f- wants to sit around and freakin' talk instead knocking boots?!? Chat time? Ok, I Ill be saying Krazy stuff in Spanish while he's humping the crap out of me and licking my neck...ok?

Oh, more "talk", time? Ok, we can cuddle and talk while taking a break between humping and me getting him a beer and/or coffee for me....then, we can start at it again.

***pfft***

Ways to connect other than sex? Pleeeze...all these women out there throwing away good penises...send them my way and let the women sit around and talk to themselves all day/night

Can't there be both sex and talking/intellectual and emotional connection ? I love sex (Good Lord was Jen right about a woman's libido over 30!) but I have been in relationships where the ONLY gateway to intimacy was screwing. My libido loved it at first, but then his lack of ever wanting to TALK to me as a person made me start feeling empty inside. And, not surprisingly, UNsexy.

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