geronimo Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 So a short recap of my story before i get into my question: Dated my ex for about 5 years, both eachothers first love/first relationship, etc. (started young, she was 15, i was 17, now 20/22). Anyways, she broke up with me last october/nov using the excuse that her parents aren't ok with us dating due to my religion and she can't hurt them any longer. BUT she started dating another guy within a month or so. So i knew it was kinda bs but she still sticks to that story. Anyways fast forward 6 months of NC, we had made a stupid promise to eachother that we would meet on our anniversary and I decided not to show up but she did and called me and I felt bad and met her (stupid i know but i had to do it), it cleared somethings up so i didnt regret it and i was ok after that but obviously feelings resurfaced. this was about 3 weeks ago, then last week she messaged me about something personal, I responded but was strictly business with my replies and she didn't like that so she called me out on it, i told her we're nothing anymore etc etc. shes like I thought we cleared everything up when we met, i pretty much told her I can't forgive her for what she did, she then called me but i was in the middle of something and had to hang up, to which she said if I do expect to never hear from her again. I didn't care and hung up. I truly thought she would message/call by now but she hasn't. I know its stupid but she keeps posting things on her blog about us cuz she knows i'll see it, and I know she has feeligns for me, perhaps its her realizing that the grass isn't that green on the other side or w/e or just wants me as a backup i don't know. I just can't play these games anymore. I know I should just forget her, go full NC again and pretend like this never happened, but its easier said than done. I wish she would message me so I would have the upper hand but I know she is just as stubborn as I am and is waiting for me to break. I want to just message her and ask if she still loves me and if she does wtf are we doing? I know I can't fully forgive her for what she did, but the truth is I still love her very much and I would be willing to give it another try if she is truly sorry for what she did and is willing to reconcile. Any advice would be helpful. thankyou.
wizer Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Did you talk about reconciling when you met her on your anniversary?
Author geronimo Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 nope we didn't, she said she wants me to be her friend, and i told her I can't do that
DexterLS Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 nope we didn't, she said she wants me to be her friend, and i told her I can't do that You're wasting your time. You shouldn't have gone to the anniversary thing but you did and you can't change that. Time to restart NC and get on with your life.
Author geronimo Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 yea i think she is still in her relationship with the other guy, im not 100% sure tho
wizer Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 When she told you she just wants to be friends, that was when you really should have said "Sorry it doesn't work for me" and got up and left and never looked back. That's what you need to do now.
Author geronimo Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 yea you guys are right, its just she isn't the type to be messing around but shes young and immature. F*ck so annoying im still f*cked up after 7 months and she's just chilling doing w/e the f*ck she wants. Def not the person i thought she was.
Author geronimo Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 @wizer, i did do that when she said she wants to be friends, but she contacted me again, its all these contacts and her saying that her new relationship is nothing like ours, that she can barely talk to the guy and they barely see eachother. She makes it seem like she still loves me, tells me she cares and all that ****, but says that she has to follow whatever her parents say because she has already put them through enough and she can't put them through more. a;slkdafj;lksdj;aflkjsf
DexterLS Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 @wizer, i did do that when she said she wants to be friends, but she contacted me again, its all these contacts and her saying that her new relationship is nothing like ours, that she can barely talk to the guy and they barely see eachother. She makes it seem like she still loves me, tells me she cares and all that ****, but says that she has to follow whatever her parents say because she has already put them through enough and she can't put them through more. a;slkdafj;lksdj;aflkjsf Nothing she says means anything until she makes an effort to reconcile. She hasn't done that so far and you are letting her play with you. You will be back to square one in no time if you keep in touch with her.
Author geronimo Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 I agree, the way she was acting I thought she would make that effort, idk if she is scared and wants to be "friends" before jumping into it but I don't want to risk that, I had always told her that I'm not gonna be one of her friends if/when we breakup I have seen that happen too many times and usually the dumpee gets f*cked over. So i'll stick to that, she just has to grow the balls to be straight up and tell me if she does feel this way but I guess my only option is to go NC until that happen, IF it happens. FML honestly lol I already feel like I'm back at square one, but atleast I still have my pride cuz I'm not feeding into her contacts.
erklat Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 (edited) but atleast I still have my pride cuz I'm not feeding into her contacts. You lost your pride when you met her for anniversary. You have none left. Start over and don't feed her guilt relieving bs. The only thing you're doing is conditioning her its okay to treat you like a pushover. Edited June 8, 2015 by erklat
aloneinaz Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Why are you letting HER make all the decisions and drive anything? Here's my suggestion. Man up, take control by avoiding any further contact with her and find a different girl to go out with. Clearly she doesn't want you back or she would have ejected the other dude and when she met you, told you she wanted you back in her life again. Don't be that door mat my man. At your age, there's TONS of hot, single girls looking for a dude. Go sow some oats!
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