Jonp219 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 First I looked at it in almost 3 months. Last thing she wrote was on April 26th she said, "Things is my life are changing, and I like it. I'm much happier now". This was a month after I broke NC to message her. I know I shouldn't of done it, but **** it I did it. And of course, it makes me incredibility sad to know that she's happier without me (I'm actually crying as I write this). There's really no room to heal, I'll never get over this I just ****ing hate myself so much. I miss her everyday and she doesn't think twice about me. I have no idea when this **** will end, or how it will end. I'm doing everything I could to improve on my myself. Develop better skills, better character, but this hinders me every waking day. I'm not really looking for advice, I just had to write this somewhere. Today is a terrible day for me, so will every other day of my life. Its been 4 months since the BU and 2 months and 2 weeks of NC and there's no light in sight.
thekarmacist Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 DON'T believe everything your ex writes on social media. 5
Author Jonp219 Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 DON'T believe everything your ex writes on social media. No breadcrumbs, no reaching out. Yeah I think she's telling the truth. Either way, it doesn't matter. Essentially I ****ed as it is
dyna85 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 I second what the karmacist said and also would urge you to hop back on the NC train immediately. Please recognize that at 2 months, you're still at the high point of the rollercoaster. Try to be gentle with yourself instead of trying to rush through the emotional intensity of the experience. You don't know really what your ex is thinking/feeling, despite what she says on her social media page, so better to focus on yourself and attend to your needs. You're being way too hard on yourself. When you look back at this point when you're 5-10 months down the road, you will likely wish you took it easier on yourself, because it's still very early in the grieving process. 3
embeu Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 You are not alone feeling like this Jon, and to be honest i doubt tomorrow will be any better. But one day there will be a better tomorrow, and the morning after that will also be a bit better. Dont drag out this waiting by cyberstalking your ex. Stop following her and delete all social media that you dont need. Also it is true what the poster before me said; dont believe everything you read. Many people use social media to sell their lifes as better than what they really are. The fact is that you are no longer a part of your ex`s life, and she will pursue happieness through people other than you. That reality sucks, but its not much anyone can do about it. You just have to work through this without her, step by step and day by day. Stop checking up on your ex on social media and delete her as a friend \ stop following her. I deleted my ex and the not knowing killed me for a LONG time. But following her on social media is like having her around in your life, and your period of healing will be that much longer and that much worse. 2
jen1447 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Tip - Jon doesn't respond well to positive reinforcement, people. Jon - you are a turd! 3
thekarmacist Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 jonp, i'm on your side. we are all here for you. you are definitely being way too hard on yourself. nobody as sensitive as you could possibly be a bad guy. stop stalking and keep posting and we will be here for you. and like i said, don't believe the hype. 3
dyna85 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Tip - Jon doesn't respond well to positive reinforcement, people. Jon - you are a turd! Jon, seriously...you need to bang your head against the wall. jk jk You're going to be OK. You seem like you have a huge heart. Sensitive guys are a rare find. Keep this in mind. Do you know how many women on here wish their exes were as upset as you over losing them? This is your ex's loss. Now go out for a run or something. It will be OK. 5
Satu Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 I could scold you, but I won't. Take care, and look after yourself the best you can. PS: I like the new avatar. 1
Author Jonp219 Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 You are not alone feeling like this Jon, and to be honest i doubt tomorrow will be any better. But one day there will be a better tomorrow, and the morning after that will also be a bit better. Dont drag out this waiting by cyberstalking your ex. Stop following her and delete all social media that you dont need. Also it is true what the poster before me said; dont believe everything you read. Many people use social media to sell their lifes as better than what they really are. The fact is that you are no longer a part of your ex`s life, and she will pursue happieness through people other than you. That reality sucks, but its not much anyone can do about it. You just have to work through this without her, step by step and day by day. Stop checking up on your ex on social media and delete her as a friend \ stop following her. I deleted my ex and the not knowing killed me for a LONG time. But following her on social media is like having her around in your life, and your period of healing will be that much longer and that much worse. Well its the first time I did it in almost 3 months. I just felt curious I guess and decided to check. We blocked each other from all social media but I still remember her user name. I doubt she's trying to sell her life to anyone she only follows 3 or 4 people she knows in Real life on Twitter. She normally uses it to vent. I'm not checking anymore, I've seen all I have to see. Thank you for the support! I appreciate it!
Author Jonp219 Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 Tip - Jon doesn't respond well to positive reinforcement, people. Jon - you are a turd! I'm a stubborn turd
JDPT Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Be gentle on yourself and give yourself time. This will be a long journey until you feel you are ready to embark into new ventures. What we went through is rather a traumatic experience that will take some time and effort on our behalf to move on with our daily activities and no longer feel that excruciating pain that wrings the life out of us. Trust me it does get better as long as you stick to the formula and allow yourself to feel you'll be ok. 1
Author Jonp219 Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 Jon, seriously...you need to bang your head against the wall. jk jk You're going to be OK. You seem like you have a huge heart. Sensitive guys are a rare find. Keep this in mind. Do you know how many women on here wish their exes were as upset as you over losing them? This is your ex's loss. Now go out for a run or something. It will be OK. Dyna is only you knew how many times I've wanted to do that. I am a sensitive guy, but I wasn't in the relationship. I was way too hot and cold my behavior tipped the balance a little too much. Seeing how she's the happy one I don't think she knows she didn't lose much. Meanwhile, I'm here still heartbroken and scared of what the future holds for me. Thank you for the response!
Author Jonp219 Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 I could scold you, but I won't. Take care, and look after yourself the best you can. PS: I like the new avatar. You have every right to scold me lol Thank you Satu.
loveweary11 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Eventually, you'll be able to look at her twitter and give zero F's. Not there yet, but the day will come. 1
na49 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 I don't think it's terrible that you snooped on her Twitter. You could have messaged her. That's actually you showing some self control. Give yourself some credit (If you don't, then I'll give you the credit ) You didn't really learn anything new about her by checking it. She's "happy" without you, and isn't thinking about you much. This just confirms what you already knew, but maybe didn't want to believe. Don't make a habit of checking it obviously because you don't want to get seriously burned (she has a new boyfriend). You are going to feel like sh*t for a while after checking. I remember how I felt the last time I checked my ex's Facebook, and nothing but time helped me get over what I saw. I did learn to accept what I saw though, and you will accept it too. You'll fight like hell because it's hard to believe, but you'll get there.
jen1447 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Self-reporting happiness isn't always the truth btw, just so you know. 2
ASV Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Those who care, do suffer. But in order to reach happiness you must REALLY feel hitting the rock bottom before. Jon, you may be a turd, but once you get over this you'll be stronger than most of those who haven't given two ****s after a BU. Hey, I'm on the same boat once again. Shoulders back, chest up and be strong. You'll get over it as we will. 1
SycamoreCircle Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 (edited) First I looked at it in almost 3 months. Last thing she wrote was on April 26th she said, "Things is my life are changing, and I like it. I'm much happier now". This was a month after I broke NC to message her. I know I shouldn't of done it, but **** it I did it. And of course, it makes me incredibility sad to know that she's happier without me (I'm actually crying as I write this). There's really no room to heal, I'll never get over this I just ****ing hate myself so much. I miss her everyday and she doesn't think twice about me. I have no idea when this **** will end, or how it will end. I'm doing everything I could to improve on my myself. Develop better skills, better character, but this hinders me every waking day. I'm not really looking for advice, I just had to write this somewhere. Today is a terrible day for me, so will every other day of my life. Its been 4 months since the BU and 2 months and 2 weeks of NC and there's no light in sight.Well, I hope you learned your lesson. Her social media and any social media related to her will do nothing but turn the knife that is already stuck in your gut. That said, I've been in your place and can offer some revealing advice: Social media is theatre. Plain and simple. How many times have you been to an edge-of-your-seat movie and turned to the person next to you and said, "My God, this movie is so exciting!!! I'm on the edge of my seat!!! What will happen next??? I have no idea!!! This is utterly enthralling!!!?" How many times have you been spellbound by the majestic beauty of something in front of you and want only to see it through the lens of a camera? We mediate our lives as a substitution for actually living it. So, when she says something like, "I made a change and I'm so happy," ask yourself if she is so happy, why is she evaluating her own happiness and then setting it down for record? The answer is because she wants to convince others of her happiness. If she convinces others, then maybe she can believe it, too. She wants to supplement the feelings she is experiencing. How many times have you felt the need to supplement unbridled happiness? I would argue that she lives in a highly charged state of doubt and self-evaluation. Such people are not fit for committed relationships. They're figuring themselves out. She is not the person you started the relationship with. You know this. Pick yourself up. Dust yourself off. Find something to do that makes you feel good about yourself. And stop checking her social media. Edited June 9, 2015 by SycamoreCircle 3
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