jond Posted April 27, 2005 Posted April 27, 2005 I hate posting this because I feel I'll probably get flamed with a bunch of 'grow some balls' posts, but whatever. So friday night she says since her new promotion at work, shes been working 12+ hours a day, plus going to work during the weekend. That basically she doesnt have the time to give me that I want. I asked her if shes breaking up with me, and she said its my decission. I asked her again at the end of the night friday if we're broken up now, and she said the ball is in my court. That was friday. Sunday I emailed her saying how I think if we could just talk for 10-15 minutes a day, and hangout friday night and sat night, it could work. She didnt respond to the email, and we havent talked since friday. SOOOO.... My question is what to do next? - Do I wait until thursday night and call her and ask whats up? - Do I wait until friday morning, and email her asking her out? - Do I not call and wait for her to make the first move? - Do I just never call her again and find someone else? Side notes: - We just entered into the 5th month together. - I like her a LOT. - When we hangout we have fun
laRubiaBonita Posted April 27, 2005 Posted April 27, 2005 why would you want to be with someone who does not care one way or another if you are in their life? do you feel that pathetic?
flsgirl Posted April 27, 2005 Posted April 27, 2005 It sounds like she's trying to make you break up with her so she won't have to have that guilt upon her. This is what happened to me about a month or so ago. The whole "no time" thing is such a cop out because if you really want to be someone, then you'll make the time for them. Even if it's a 30 second phone call to say hi everyday. It sounds like she wants to break up. So, my advice to you is to call her and ask her straight up if she is still interested in you and still wants to be with you. If you get any other answer then "Of course, I don't want to break up," then I suggest you let this one go. It's not fair to you. You want to be with someone who wants to be with you and will make time for you regardless of her schedule. Goodluck.
outdated Posted April 27, 2005 Posted April 27, 2005 I think she's trying to take the easy way out. Some people are too scared to look like the bad person in a relationship. It helps them sleep at night. I'd ask her what she truly wants and if she doesn't tell you "you" then it's time to move on. Hard, but true. Sadly, even when you think you've found the "one", it still requires one other person's opinion.
Author jond Posted April 27, 2005 Author Posted April 27, 2005 Thanks for everyones advise. I feel like someone on springer where they cant see through the fog to realize who they're with is a waste of time, and not good for them. I wanted this to work soo bad. The first few months were so incrediable. I think we both were really in love. Sad... I'm thinking about proposing we be 'friends with benifits'. If were both single, why not? What do you guys think?
CurlyIam Posted April 27, 2005 Posted April 27, 2005 I don't know... My indicent proposal: let her see you having a fabulous time with another female friend. Women seem to treasure more what they have when they're about to lose it. You never know. As for the FWB, why bother? You're already emotionally involved, even if she thought the idea were appealing, she'll reject it. So Spare yourself this one and swim towards an honorouble "retreat". Good luck to you, Curly
flsgirl Posted April 28, 2005 Posted April 28, 2005 You can't be friends with benefits because you are emotionally involved. That only works if both people want no strings attached. That's clearly not going to work because it's obvious you want to be with her and she'll easily see through that. It's only going to delay your healing process. Be single for awhile and do something for yourself to keep busy and the pain will eventually go away. It helps to be super focused on something else so you won't obsess over her. It will get better with time. I promise.
ExInTexas Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 Jond - fall off the face of the earth, stop calling her and give her a chance to think about it and wonder what you're up to. Maybe you need to rattle her a bit - nothing is more attractive than uncertainty. She's taking you for granted. Stop contacting her - and let her contact you. Even when she does - don't jump out of your skin to call her back - let her stew a little. Provoke some mystery and uncertainty - I guarantee you she'll stop and wonder what happened to you and suddenly you'll become very appealing and desireable again!!! Good luck.
Ty Posted April 29, 2005 Posted April 29, 2005 Damnit westernxer, you took my post. I'll say it anyway, grow some balls. It sounds like she's trying to make you break up with her so she won't have to have that guilt upon her. word Stop contacting her - and let her contact you. Even when she does - don't jump out of your skin to call her back - let her stew a little. word You can't be friends with benefits because you are emotionally involved. That only works if both people want no strings attached. That's clearly not going to work because it's obvious you want to be with her and she'll easily see through that. It's only going to delay your healing process. word
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