emi Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Since when i was still an infant, my parents lived away from each other due to work reason. Then everytime she heard he had an affair with some random woman she would ride 2 hours to his place, holding me as a baby with barely any warm clothes on just to make a big fuss with him. When i grown up a little, she sometime beat me because she was stressed, one time i pasded out. Later years, when i asked about how could she do it. She denied. But i remembered even its a blurry memory. In my secondary/ high school, i barely got any attention or caring from my parents. I have so little clothes and all weird ones which has affect my self-esteem.... She also belittled, insulted me on everything and when i wanted to get my allowance she always say what a blood sucker i am... Now im in uni, study and working part-time, it doesnt get any better... what did i do to deserve this...
Arieswoman Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 (edited) emi, I'm sorry about your situation. I could give you a whole list of things that showed how toxic my mother was, but I won't. We don't get to choose our families but we can choose what we do about them. I went to Uni and got qualified and then left home permanently. I spent the first 32 years of my life trying to get my mother's love and approval. Then I finally realised that it wasn't going to happen and learned to love myself. Don't waste the time like I did. You seem to me you are moving in the right direction. Good luck with your studies. As soon as you have the means to make your own way in the world, you can tell your mother to shove it. Then I would invest in some therapy to build your self-esteem and gain self awareness. Good luck x Edited June 8, 2015 by Arieswoman 1
Clarence_Boddicker Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 If she's not finically supporting you, just disown her. The ability to reproduce doesn't guarantee the ability to properly parent a child. Only a sociopath punishes an innocent for the misdeeds of another. Your "mother" has caused you some serious emotional harm, that will probably take a lot of pain & years of work to repair. The best way to heal is to totally remove her from your life. 1
d0nnivain Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Just because she gave birth to you doesn't mean you have to continue to have a relationship with her as an adult. Get some therapy. Live your own life & treat your children lovingly 2
devilish innocent Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 You didn't do anything to deserve this. Some people who have kids really should not have been parents. Beating you until you passed out is ghastly. She definitely should have lost custody of you just for that. I really hope you are getting counseling to deal with all you have been through. Even if you have no money, as a student, your university will provide you with some form of counseling. Take advantage of it.
Fleur de cactus Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 SOrry to hear about you life. It is hard to heal when you do not find a proper closure. You did not deserve this, you were an angel she should give you her attention and not turning her anger on you. If you can get counseling, request to include your mother, try to invite her to one of your session, so that you can find closure. She needs to understand that the wound she caused in you never heal if she is not honest with you. Best wishes and stay strong.
lollipopspot Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Unfortunately many people are not cut out to be parents. It probably stings especially with your mother because you constantly hear things like "all mothers love their children" and what "mama bears" mother are. You didn't do anything to "deserve" crappy parents. It's kind of the luck of the draw.
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