mortensorchid Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 I was supposed to go out on an Internet date with someone tonight. Long story short, we met on Instagram (yes, one can do that as I found out). We had arranged to meet tonight. A few hours ago, I get a text from him saying that he has to take a rain check tonight. I texted back I hoped everything was ok with him. He said yes, but as there is a 70% chance of rain tonight and all he has is a bike for transportation he had to cancel. How is Thursday? I was a bit confused. I texted back "Are you saying you won't have a car again until Thursday or do you not have a car at all?" He texted back "I don't have a car at all." A 30 year old man with no car. I have met a few men without cars recently. They all had DUIs and had their licenses revoked or suspended. They got around by taking public transportation or constantly getting rides from others. I know NOTHING about this guy, but he seems like a genuine person based on the interactions we have had. What do others think?
madjac74 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Have you seen the movie "A 40 year old virgin"? He had a bicycle 5
Emilia Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 I don't know how important a car is where you live but it would annoy me if a guy cancelled every time it was likely to rain. 2
Toodaloo Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 What do others think? I think that if he can cut short a date because of rain then actually its rather sad. Been there, went out for a few dates with one of "these" and sadly he admitted that he couldn't be bothered... after I had cooked a meal for him. Don't bother with this on MC - you are worth so much more than to be an after thought. 1
madjac74 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 She should have offered to drive to see what other excuses he came up with
gaius Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 I'm guessing that was his way of trying to hint you to pick him up. Which is pretty lame to be quite honest. =/
Redhead14 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 I was supposed to go out on an Internet date with someone tonight. Long story short, we met on Instagram (yes, one can do that as I found out). We had arranged to meet tonight. A few hours ago, I get a text from him saying that he has to take a rain check tonight. I texted back I hoped everything was ok with him. He said yes, but as there is a 70% chance of rain tonight and all he has is a bike for transportation he had to cancel. How is Thursday? I was a bit confused. I texted back "Are you saying you won't have a car again until Thursday or do you not have a car at all?" He texted back "I don't have a car at all." A 30 year old man with no car. I have met a few men without cars recently. They all had DUIs and had their licenses revoked or suspended. They got around by taking public transportation or constantly getting rides from others. I know NOTHING about this guy, but he seems like a genuine person based on the interactions we have had. What do others think? If you decide to date him, be prepared to be his chauffeur and to be picking him up for dates. Next him. Why isn't he using public transportation instead anyway? If he were really serious and at least had a license, he'd borrow a car at least for a first meet with someone or use public transportation. And, what does he do when it's raining and he has to go to work? Maybe he doesn't have a job either
Author mortensorchid Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 According to the bit we have talked, he has a job. But it was disconcerting to find out he has no car. Like another said, I would be the chauffer. I was, however, tired and didn't feel that I needed to make an effort to go out last night after a big day which is why I didn't offer to drive. Still. This is not setting right with me. I won't call him a loser because I don't know enough about him to say whether or not that's the case, but this is certainly not great news to hear.
Redhead14 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 According to the bit we have talked, he has a job. But it was disconcerting to find out he has no car. Like another said, I would be the chauffer. I was, however, tired and didn't feel that I needed to make an effort to go out last night after a big day which is why I didn't offer to drive. Still. This is not setting right with me. I won't call him a loser because I don't know enough about him to say whether or not that's the case, but this is certainly not great news to hear. I would never offer to drive especially on a first meeting. You don't know him. You never take a stranger into your car, first of all and if the meeting doesn't go well or you don't like him, you're stuck in the car with him for a bit afterward as well. And, if you do like him, you're setting a precedent and maybe getting into the chauffeur role right away. 1
Mrlonelyone Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 According to the bit we have talked, he has a job. But it was disconcerting to find out he has no car. Like another said, I would be the chauffer. I was, however, tired and didn't feel that I needed to make an effort to go out last night after a big day which is why I didn't offer to drive. Still. This is not setting right with me. I won't call him a loser because I don't know enough about him to say whether or not that's the case, but this is certainly not great news to hear. Correct me if I am wrong you live in a big densely populated city with great public transportation and lots to do within walking distance a place like Chicago, NYC, that kind of place, right? Many people in cities like that don't have cars due to the difficulty of parking, not just paying for it but even finding a space to pay for. Then there is the traffic in those cities which is a nightmare. Then there is the environment to consider biking is way more environmentally conscious. There are reasons a guy could not have a car without it being a red flag. As for this idea that it's bad for you to pick him up who made that rule? Many families have one car and the woman drives it if the husband is at work on most week days and she isn't. (Again that prevails in the big cities.) It's your life if you want a man who has a car especially in a big city as it would speak to a certain status. In a place like a Chicago or NYC it would mean he could afford to perhaps pay rent on a space in a garage, pay vallets, pay meters, pay tickets and so have money left over to pay for dates etc etc go ahead. People have done that ever since a tribal chief would marry his daughter to a man with 10 goats and no less. There is nothing wrong with wanting a partner with money to burn.
losangelena Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 As someone who doesn't have a car myself, I'd refrain from writing him off completely. Not to sound snarky, but why don't you just ask him about it? We certainly don't know the situation. 1
Redhead14 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 As someone who doesn't have a car myself, I'd refrain from writing him off completely. Not to sound snarky, but why don't you just ask him about it? We certainly don't know the situation. I'm sorry, but if a man makes a plan to meet me for the first time, he should make it happen. And, if you can't, you don't text me the day of. He could have checked the weather station the day before at least and gave me a heads up that if it rained we might need to reschedule to X day. This is not entirely about the no car situation, it's also about how he handled the plans. 3
Author mortensorchid Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 He said he is free on Thursday so he offered to see me again real soon. I have not responded as of this moment. I am still thinking.
TunaCat Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 I don't have a car (actually I can't even drive due to some health issues) but if I was truly interested in someone I would figure out a way to get to wherever the date was supposed to take place. If he's not willing to put in the extra effort, I'd wonder if he was actually interested in me.
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 He said he is free on Thursday so he offered to see me again real soon. I have not responded as of this moment. I am still thinking. You said he 'offered' to see you again. How is he going to get to you? Via his moto? How is he going to transport you to whatever date you both go on? Are you going to have to sit on the back of his moto? If so, you'll have to dress down for that, which means no dresses, skirts or heels. What if it rains next Thursday or on any other day you two are suppose to go out? If he offers to get a cab for you two or borrows someone's car, that would at least show effort on his part. There are a lot of women who wouldn't want to be transported via a motorcycle on a first or second date. Barring the safety factor and having to wear jeans and sneakers, it's just not the preferred method of travel for most. But, if you have a good feeling about him and, you don't mind dressing way down to ride on the back of a moto, then maybe you should give it a go. Just be sure he has an extra helmet for YOU to wear when he comes and picks you up. .
pteromom Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 A 30 year old man with no car. What do others think? It depends on where you live and the abundance (or lack thereof) of public transportation. But car or no car, "rain" is a lame excuse for canceling. Does he call in to work every time it rains? Refuse to leave the house? If he really wanted to see you, he could get a taxi, ask you to pick him up, ask you to meet him close to his home - something. It's a good clue as to who he is - he doesn't want to make the effort. Your relationship would be years of you complaining that he just won't make the effort (to make you happy in bed, to get up at night when the baby cries, to show you he loves you...) Next. 2
PogoStick Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Yeah, why not pick somewhere close to his home? And why not ask for clarification of his situation? Seem so easy and obvious to me.
smackie9 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 I'd ditch him. There are other ways to get to a date....that's what cabs are for. He's being totally lame. I picked up my husband on our first date...his car was stolen and didn't have a car for a couple of months. 1
losangelena Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 I'm sorry, but if a man makes a plan to meet me for the first time, he should make it happen. And, if you can't, you don't text me the day of. He could have checked the weather station the day before at least and gave me a heads up that if it rained we might need to reschedule to X day. This is not entirely about the no car situation, it's also about how he handled the plans. I understand that, but I'm I'm saying is that I believe she'd get more traction on the situation if she straight up asked him what his deal is (i.e., why he doesn't have a car) instead of speculating with a bunch of online strangers. Whether or not he's a decent dating prospect is another story entirely.
joseb Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 I was supposed to go out on an Internet date with someone tonight. Long story short, we met on Instagram (yes, one can do that as I found out). We had arranged to meet tonight. A few hours ago, I get a text from him saying that he has to take a rain check tonight. I texted back I hoped everything was ok with him. He said yes, but as there is a 70% chance of rain tonight and all he has is a bike for transportation he had to cancel. How is Thursday? I was a bit confused. I texted back "Are you saying you won't have a car again until Thursday or do you not have a car at all?" He texted back "I don't have a car at all." A 30 year old man with no car. I have met a few men without cars recently. They all had DUIs and had their licenses revoked or suspended. They got around by taking public transportation or constantly getting rides from others. I know NOTHING about this guy, but he seems like a genuine person based on the interactions we have had. What do others think? Where were you supposed to meet him for the date? Was he picking you up or were you to meet at a location?
Author mortensorchid Posted June 9, 2015 Author Posted June 9, 2015 Where were you supposed to meet him for the date? Was he picking you up or were you to meet at a location? TO answer your question: We had arranged via text to meet at this hipster bar on the west side (where I live). It went like this ... About 2 weeks ago he gave me his number, I sent him a text saying it was me. He texted back he said he was sorry for the slow reply, he was busy. He said he might be around this week, would I like to hang out and get a drink? He said Friday and Sunday would be good for him. I said Sunday will work, I asked where he lived. I live on the west side, he's on the east side. He said he didn't know much of things on the west side as he doesn't know much of the geography there (something typical in my city but that's another story). We agreed to the hipster bar. On Sunday morning he texted me if we are still on to hang out, I said yes I will see him at 7pm. Then about 2 hours before we were to meet he texted me saying he was sorry but he had just checked the weather report and he would have to take a rain check because there was a 70% chance of rain and he only has a bike for transportation. I said ok. He said "It doesn't look like I can do much not for a few days at least, I am free for Thursday." He said drinks and/or food would be on him. I then texted back "do you not have a car at all or will you not have a car until THursday?" He said he doesn't have a car at all. Then today I texted to him "Sorry you don't have a car at all." Nothing from him. He liked a few photos that I added to Instagram today, but nothing other than that. This is not making me feel great to hear this.
KSCHV Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 At least he saves a bunch of money on car insurance..... 1
joseb Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 OK, well I do seem to remember getting from the east side to the west side was a bit of a PITA by public transport in Manhatten (I'm assuming you are there?), considering they are not far apart. I don't own a car now. And when I lived in NY, I didn't either. But I never had any issues getting places. I bike now a lot, a bit of rain should not be an issue. If it's really chucking it down, and I'm going somewhere that's not great by public transport, I'd either call a cab or use the car share scheme I'm in (works well for a couple of hours - they have zipcar in NY I think). I would see the fact that he didn't bother with alternatives to make the date as a much bigger issue than the fact that he doesn't have a car.
Purepony Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Ladies take notes! Lets take a look at the men on instagram... any man who has nothing better to do but sit there and stare at pictures proves 1. He's bored because he has nothing else going for him 2. He s probably broke and see above 3. Too much time on his hands see 1 again 4. Has low self esteem Guys with cars, money and direction have better things to do than be on a pointless social media site looking at pictures so don't be surprised their riding bikes or getting high or working out paying shirtless pics or complaint about child support etc Source : me and my friends make over 200k a year and don't waste our time on social media.
guest569 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 It's called an umbrella! Rain coat.. Public transport.. Seems a weak excuse to me.
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