abby_tx Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 In my area, match.com seems to be the place for divorced or separated men with 2+ kids who don't want any more. They are looking for a girl who doesn't mind if the guy has kids but doesn't want her own. My profiles states that I want kids yet I get SO many messages from guys like this. Why would they even message a girl who clearly wants her own kids? Do they think they can change me? I usually don't reply to guys like this but it's getting to the point where I almost want to ask what they're looking for in me. OLD is so frustrating.
Author abby_tx Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 I should also add that I wouldn't mind dating a guy with kids if he were open with the idea of having more.
Krieger Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 In my area, match.com seems to be the place for divorced or separated men with 2+ kids who don't want any more. They are looking for a girl who doesn't mind if the guy has kids but doesn't want her own. My profiles states that I want kids yet I get SO many messages from guys like this. Why would they even message a girl who clearly wants her own kids? Do they think they can change me? I usually don't reply to guys like this but it's getting to the point where I almost want to ask what they're looking for in me. OLD is so frustrating. I want kids as well and would not email woman that did not want kids it a waste of my time. 1
Author abby_tx Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 I want kids as well and would not email woman that did not want kids it a waste of my time. Yeah. The last guy I dated for three months before we had the "what do you want for the future" chat. I realized I wanted kids and marriage and he wanted neither. It was so hard that I told myself never again. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 How old are you OP? The older you are the harder it gets. My brother who is in his mid 30s told me that it's pretty much all divorced people with kids after 30. It's not like the 20s where everyone still wants to get married and have kids (myself included lol)
Author abby_tx Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 Ya just have to learn to hit the delete button. So I'm not being unfairly harsh. Almost ALL the emails are deletes these days. There isn't one guy I'd consider going out with now. Makes it hard to just sit back and ignore. I so want to sass these guys out for emailing me. Side note: found my friend's ex on match.com and he says he's 4 years younger than he actually is. Disgusting.
Author abby_tx Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 How old are you OP? The older you are the harder it gets. My brother who is in his mid 30s told me that it's pretty much all divorced people with kids after 30. It's not like the 20s where everyone still wants to get married and have kids (myself included lol) I'm 32 and in an area where people marry young, so yeah. It's def. more common.
Author abby_tx Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 That is the crux of the issue here. When I was on OLD, I couldn't find a woman that did want kids. Are you in a relationship now? If so, where did you find her? I don't meet new people in my regular life, so I'm forced to not date or go online. Since April, there has only been one guy I liked enough to try meeting in person and even then I was only so-so on him.
Gary S Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Well, just to put it in perspective, some guys get zero messages. Hey, everybody has problems 2
acrosstheuniverse Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Most men on OLD use a scattergun approach, they'll message everyone in the hope that one or two women will write back. Honestly, unless they have written a decent length message (more than a few sentences) and mentioned sometning you talk about in your profile they're probably just sending the same stock message to everyone. Just hit delete. 1
Toodaloo Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 How old are you OP? The older you are the harder it gets. My brother who is in his mid 30s told me that it's pretty much all divorced people with kids after 30. It's not like the 20s where everyone still wants to get married and have kids (myself included lol) Can I have your brothers number???
Arieswoman Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 abby_tx, As other have said, just delete. If they can't even read a profile correctly, what hope is there for a relationship? When I was OLD I was very clear that I didn't want kids, but still got replies from those that did. Plenty more fish in the sea...
minime13 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 In my area, match.com seems to be the place for divorced or separated men with 2+ kids who don't want any more. They are looking for a girl who doesn't mind if the guy has kids but doesn't want her own. My profiles states that I want kids yet I get SO many messages from guys like this. Why would they even message a girl who clearly wants her own kids? Do they think they can change me? I usually don't reply to guys like this but it's getting to the point where I almost want to ask what they're looking for in me. OLD is so frustrating. They are playing a numbers game. If I had a penny for every guy that messaged me when I had an OLD profile who obviously did not read my profile, I'd be able to at least pay off my student loans. Just ignore them. Finding the right match isn't supposed to be simple. It's a task, but it's a worthwhile task. 1
Shining One Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Ya just have to learn to hit the delete button.Even this isn't necessary. You can set your message filters to exclude men who don't want children.
candie13 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 grin and bare it. be true to yourself, stick to your core believes and the hell with what other men want. Kids from another woman is a big no no for me. As I want to get married, even divorced men are under question. with regard to your last experience, what can I say, it sucks. If it's any consolation, the first few dates I've had with my recent ex, I have asked him if he is ready for a real relationship and he responded without blinking yes (he's divorced). 5 months later we are preparing our summer together and preparing to introduce him to my parents who live abroad. In a random conversation, the bloke tells me his definition of real commitment is just children and i'd have to take his word for it. The next day I've canceled the whole sh*t and never spoke to him again. It's just people, ya know ? I'm 34, unmarried, no kids, great economic situation, why should I settle? Am I not aware that my views are seen as traditional and old? Hell yeah. do I care? hell no. It still stings to look back, but hey, you just never know. People change their mind all the time. They lie. They evolve... You just have to have faith, believe is yourself, put yourself and your needs first and carry on. Do you best to meet people outside OLD, OLD sucks big time.
Author abby_tx Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 OLD does suck a ton but I have no ideas how to meet people in 'real' life
TunaCat Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 I've been doing OLD for a few weeks and I'm frequently matched with guys who have kids already, and don't want anymore. It's baffling because I have it stated on my profile that I do not want kids. No stepkids or bio kids. Finding someone in their late 20's who doesn't have kids & doesn't want kids is near impossible. 1
Recommended Posts