JoeNapkins77 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 So here's some background of my situation: There's this girl that I've known since middle school/high school that I've always dreamed of being in a relationship with (or at least date). I never made a move because (1) at the time, I couldn't find the courage to ask her out on a date and (2) she was already interested in one of my good friends (although the two never went passed a hug). So I kept my distance for a long while and held my thoughts and feelings towards her to myself. Fast forward to this year (7 years), friend just now asks her to be official and she says yes. However, they ended up having conflicts between each other on philosophical matters and eventually broke up in a couple months. Senior prom soon rolls around about a couple months after that incident and then my friend tells me I should ask her to prom. Surprised by his response, I talked with him for a good while to make sure he is really ok with it and he insists. I then take a few days on the promposal to make sure it was just right and then built up the courage to make my move. She says yes and from there we talked more on details of how to match each other, transportation, after-prom, etc. When the night finally came around, I delivered my top notch manners and did my best to make her happy. As the night progressed and the dances were coming to an end, I continued to talk with her but also paid real close attention to her body language and expressions to see if anything was making her feel uncomfortable. I noticed nothing negative from her and it actually looked like she was giving me a lot of positive mixed signals, especially during the slow dances. After the prom/after-prom ended, we exchanged our goodbyes and went our separate ways home. Something that only started out as a dream, which I never imagined would happen, all of a sudden became a reality in it's purest. I couldn't of asked for a better night! So here's my problem: I never imagined I would've gotten the opportunity to take the girl of my dreams to prom. My lack of emotional control has made me far more attached to her to the point where I do not know what to do. Normally, I would take another step and ask her out on a second date, but the issue is that she has already committed to an out-of-state college and will be gone by mid summer. She is also real busy with last minute preparations for her transition to college and some family matters. How do I deal with all of this given the situation that I am in? I know in reality there would be little to no chance of anything working out as far as long distance relationships goes, but this stuff has constantly been on my mind for months now with little to no resolve.
aloneinaz Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 (edited) Here's my thoughts.. You're 18 and you like her. If you don't act and get a chance to go out with her again, how are you going to feel 20 years from now? Will you say to yourself "I should of manned up and asked her out" or will you think you made the right decision? I think you know the answer is to ask her out again if you felt like the chemistry was good during the date and you feel she liked you. The other thing to keep in mind is that you're not too emotionally attached to her or could become too emotionally attached to her if you date for a short period before she leaves for college. The last thing you'd want is to end up being hurt or devastated that she left and then be posting on this site "The love of my life has left me".. lol Listen, as far as we know, we only get this shot at life once. Too many of us older dudes wish we'd manned up when we were your age. I missed many opportunity's due to fear of rejection. Now, with age and experiences you learn that you have everything to gain, in your case, getting to go out with her further or risk a minor thing like rejection. Go for it is my opinion. Let us know how it goes.. Edited June 8, 2015 by aloneinaz
Author JoeNapkins77 Posted July 3, 2015 Author Posted July 3, 2015 Ok, so I took your advice and made the attempt of asking her out again...she said yes! I was so thrilled that I got the opportunity to spend time with her again before her big move. Anyways, we end up going on a nice walk on a walking bridge, then some food and finished off with some coffee at some shop. We're talking it up and having a great day. Both of us had a great time and talked a lot over multiple things. So towards the end, I thought the timing was right and that she was even expecting me to say something to her about our dates. So, I casually tell her towards the end about how I feel about her (without sounding desperate or anything) and then asked her how she felt about me...she said she feels that I'm more like a great brother to her and then went on to tell me about how sweet and kind of a guy I was. After that, I kept things short and handled myself maturely as we were closing out the day and heading our own ways. At this point, it's been a week since that day happened and I'm still wrestling over the fact that there was some major build up for a potential relationship to develop but ended on a sour note of rejection. I mean, everything seemed so right about it and I tried to keep everything from being awkward or uncomfortable. I probably messed up somewhere in the middle, but all I know is that I had one more shot to get some final positive feeback and I completely blew it.
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