Author Gaeta Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 Gaeta, I am sorry that you have this mindset about turning 50. At age 50, you should be feeling smarter, more independent and secure with yourself. Embrace your 50"s with confidence and be the woman that has come through 50 years of "living" and have even more to offer than you did before TAke good care of yourself. Treat yourself well and accept nothing else from anyone. It just emphasis that I am still alone. I turned 40 by myself and now I am going to turn 50 by myself. No one I met in the past 10 years felt I was worth keeping.
lgspot Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 It just emphasis that I am still alone. I turned 40 by myself and now I am going to turn 50 by myself. No one I met in the past 10 years felt I was worth keeping. The important thing is to know when they're not worth keeping. IMO, better to be alone than miserable with the wrong person. One thing I've learned about the dating thing after being single again and a bit older, it's either feast or famine. The day will come when you'll have more good guys than you know what to do with. 50 was a very good age for me. I'm betting it will be for you too.
Redhead14 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 It just emphasis that I am still alone. I turned 40 by myself and now I am going to turn 50 by myself. No one I met in the past 10 years felt I was worth keeping. It's not whether you were worth keeping! It's that you just weren't the ones for each other. It's not one sided in that you weren't worth it. It's the "relationships" that weren't worth it. There wasn't enough for both of you to keep it going. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with you and it doesn't mean anything is was wrong with them necessarily. The ones who actually said you weren't worth it, definitely had something wrong with them though And, you dodged a bullet or a couple. It's not about you and it's not about them. It's the "relationship" and all the aspects that go into it and whether or not you each have what the other needs. No one has control over that stuff.
kendahke Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 You say that often, can you stop please. No woman of 49 wants to be reminded she is turning a big 50 soon. I am very sensitive about turning 50, let me enjoy my last 5 months at 49. Honey, the best is yet to come!!!!
kendahke Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 It just emphasis that I am still alone. I turned 40 by myself and now I am going to turn 50 by myself. No one I met in the past 10 years felt I was worth keeping. Turn that around=---no one you met was worth keeping. Your worth is solid, hon... they were swimming out of their depth and had to go back to the kiddie pool. They have to get out of the way for better to come along. 1
kendahke Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 My first hit off of what you said was that dude isn't free to date. IMO, if the phone died, why couldn't he have hit you up the way he did the first time he contacted you--was it on a dating site? He could have sent you a quick message that way from his computer--did that die, too? Once he got home he couldn't call from the house phone? I wouldn't make any time for him. He's unreliable.
Author Gaeta Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 Thank you guys ! Even this tough cookie has her weak moments.
empresario Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Let me run a quick one by you guys. You know how I give too many chances at the beginning so I think I am about to be too flexible. I had a first meeting with this man yesterday at noon. We met in a park, it was nice, he asked to see me again and I said I would like that. We both had plans for dinner in our respective family so he asked me to text him when I am done and if it's not too late maybe we can do something afterwards. I did, I texted him after my dinner but did not hear back from him. This morning he sent me an apology and said his phone died. Ok, no problem. Then we exchanged a few words back and forth and my last text to him was: Are you free later today? (noon today). I asked this during a conversation with no delay, we're exchanging back and forth, but he disappeared right after that question with no warning. I did not hear back from him all day and just got a text at 11 pm. His text goes: I am sorry I didn't see your text I spent the day with a friend she helped me practice for my up coming job interview. Let me know if you have any free time this week as I am off all week and have lot of time to meet. Is it just me or that's weak? He didn't check his phone from noon to 11 pm? My gut feeling is telling me to not even reply to him. I'm getting a strong vibe that this guy is married and/or committed and is struggling with his options of cheating. I don't know why I'm getting that vibe, I just am. Either way it's shady. Abort!
Redhead14 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Thank you guys ! Even this tough cookie has her weak moments. The moment I start feeling weak, I focus on all my strengths! Happiness, support, affirmation come from within. Another person does not give those things to me. What they do for me is enhance and share those things and if we are birds of a feather, I will be able to do that for them.
Author Gaeta Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 One other thing. The day before we met he sent me a text Friday morning to say hello. He asked me to send him a picture of what I was going to wear to the office that day. I didn't see anything wrong with it, just confirming I am like my profile says. I sent him one. The following day we met. After our meeting I was heading home to prepare for a dinner in a restaurant with a friend. He texted me and asked if he could see how I would dress for the restaurant. I sent him a pic This morning he calls at 8h30 etc etc. Afterward, again, he asked me to send him a pic of what I would wear to the office. I know men are visual but......
Redhead14 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 One other thing. The day before we met he sent me a text Friday morning to say hello. He asked me to send him a picture of what I was going to wear to the office that day. I didn't see anything wrong with it, just confirming I am like my profile says. I sent him one. The following day we met. After our meeting I was heading home to prepare for a dinner in a restaurant with a friend. He texted me and asked if he could see how I would dress for the restaurant. I sent him a pic This morning he calls at 8h30 etc etc. Afterward, again, he asked me to send him a pic of what I would wear to the office. I know men are visual but...... He's making you jump hoops like a show pony in order for him to meet you. Don't "entertain" him anymore. 4
myothernic2 Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 It just emphasis that I am still alone. I turned 40 by myself and now I am going to turn 50 by myself. No one I met in the past 10 years felt I was worth keeping. Aww, I know that feeling creeps in at times. But, even if they felt you were "worth" keeping, many people have other road blocks that stops them from pursuing rather it's emotional or situational, can't always take it personal.
organizedchaos Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 One other thing. The day before we met he sent me a text Friday morning to say hello. He asked me to send him a picture of what I was going to wear to the office that day. I didn't see anything wrong with it, just confirming I am like my profile says. I sent him one. The following day we met. After our meeting I was heading home to prepare for a dinner in a restaurant with a friend. He texted me and asked if he could see how I would dress for the restaurant. I sent him a pic This morning he calls at 8h30 etc etc. Afterward, again, he asked me to send him a pic of what I would wear to the office. I know men are visual but...... Next time he does that don't comply. Tell him he's going to have to make a plan to see you in order to see what you're wearing. Let him wonder about you.
lgspot Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 He's making you jump hoops like a show pony in order for him to meet you. Don't "entertain" him anymore. Redhead is exactly right! I've known guys that have done similar. He knows a woman's appearance is important to her. Using that to entice and disarm. Its all about HIM. Sincerity is asking for photos does not match his actions. Stroking his ego.... Stealth Manipulation... You are much to valuable to settle for his games.
Author Gaeta Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 I think he's pushing it a little too far now. He told me to ask a colleague to take a picture of me in my office just for him. I said in my profile there is already a picture of me in my office, he said yes but not with the clothes I have on today. Then at the end of the day he texted: where's my picture?
katiegrl Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 (edited) I think he's pushing it a little too far now. He told me to ask a colleague to take a picture of me in my office just for him. I said in my profile there is already a picture of me in my office, he said yes but not with the clothes I have on today. Then at the end of the day he texted: where's my picture? He is so toying with you. I am amazed you can't see that. I would be so turned off by this bozo... what also amazes me is that you are not. And that you keep obliging him. Like a show pony as RH said. [scratching head in disbelief] Edited June 8, 2015 by katiegrl 2
Author Gaeta Posted June 8, 2015 Author Posted June 8, 2015 I did not send him a picture from the office and when he asked where was his picture I ignored the question. I'm too old for this.
losangelena Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 Then at the end of the day he texted: where's my picture? Ick. No thanks!
lgspot Posted June 8, 2015 Posted June 8, 2015 I did not send him a picture from the office and when he asked where was his picture I ignored the question. I'm too old for this. Not too old.... and you're learning. Guys like this are preparing you to recognize the really good guys that will enter your life... Blessings
toscaroscura Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 I think he's pushing it a little too far now. He told me to ask a colleague to take a picture of me in my office just for him. I said in my profile there is already a picture of me in my office, he said yes but not with the clothes I have on today. Then at the end of the day he texted: where's my picture? What nerve!! :mad:
bolase Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Agreed, he is totally toying with you! He isn't taking you seriously Gaeta. Not to be confused with playful banter between dates when two people see each other as equals... this guy's behaviour will only get worse as he learns to push your buttons. You would be well within your rights to not reply to any of these or future messages or calls from him. I would ghost! PS you're not 'too old' for this, what youve described are simply poor actions from this guy - not youthful/immature ones. Be 'too wise' instead.
fitnessfan365 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 One other thing. The day before we met he sent me a text Friday morning to say hello. He asked me to send him a picture of what I was going to wear to the office that day. I didn't see anything wrong with it, just confirming I am like my profile says. I sent him one. The following day we met. After our meeting I was heading home to prepare for a dinner in a restaurant with a friend. He texted me and asked if he could see how I would dress for the restaurant. I sent him a pic This morning he calls at 8h30 etc etc. Afterward, again, he asked me to send him a pic of what I would wear to the office. I know men are visual but...... Since I've had really bad luck with women misrepresenting themselves, I am all for asking for one single recent full body pic. When I do I am always respectful, and explain my reasoning behind it. But I have to say, this is absolutely ridiculous what he's expecting you to do showing a variety of themed pictures. I'd tell him that you're no longer interested. Any guy that hung up on the visual is trouble IMO.
Redhead14 Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Since he wants to know if you look good enough for him, ask him for a picture of his car, his boat and summer house. We are visual too. Show me da money 1
Author Gaeta Posted June 9, 2015 Author Posted June 9, 2015 Since he wants to know if you look good enough for him, ask him for a picture of his car, his boat and summer house. We are visual too. Show me da money lol, love it. He just graduated a week ago so the man has nothing! except a vin diesel body to show off that could render you blind. Damn! I got blinded by the big pectorals again didn't I !!
Rejected Rosebud Posted June 9, 2015 Posted June 9, 2015 Gaeta you are so smart and give other people awesome advice on here but you don't seem like you apply it to your own self!! IMO if you have all these questions and concerns when you are just meeting someone there is NO WAY it can turn out good I mean things don't have to be like disneyland but it should be positive without alot of worries plus the picture thing is just creepy, I wonder if he has other women sending him pictures of them throughout their day. 1
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