Sad Flower Posted April 27, 2005 Posted April 27, 2005 Hey guys, I haven't been on lately but I was feeling kinda down and just need some advice or maybe just to hear from all the other women here. Some of you are familiar with my story and have given me great help but here is an update. MM seen our son for the first time last week. After the paternity test (he already knew it was his) results came back he asked to see the baby. We agreed to meet at a park to exchange the baby so he can take him for a day. I was dreading the meeting..The last time we were actually together we were happy so it was a hard time for me. The odd thing was when I seen him, he wouldnt look at me (conviction maybe, guilt?) He came alone which was good. I was kind leery about sending my son to be with him and his wife. I asked him to give me his adress & # but I later found out he lied to me about where he was living which I thought was wrong, I have a right to know that if my son will be with him, don't I? Well the wierd thing is since he has started seeing the baby he has been asking for him alot which surprised me, I mean the guy hadn't bothered AT ALL now he is all eager to spend time with him, he said he wants to get to know his son more, he has even been asking for him to spend the night, I have said no though, my son is little still and I feel he needs to stay with me at night, this has made MM upset but oh well. I just feel that since he got a paternity test he feels he has all this authority over my son now, which i don't agree with. The thing that bothers me is when he brings my son home THE WIFE is always with him, it makes me feel uncomfortable and it sucks cause I still love him but he still doesnt look at me i think i can count twice that he made a quick glance at me I just get sad cause i miss him and i dont get to see him getting to know his son his wife gets to see that and i want to ask him questions about it but i dont know what to say, when i see him its awkward and we dont really talk....
Debster Posted April 27, 2005 Posted April 27, 2005 While I don't agree with what you did to get yourself into this situation in the first place, i do feel for you. It must be hard. However, try to see it as it being a good thing that now your child will have a father in his life.
LittleMiss Posted April 27, 2005 Posted April 27, 2005 I think you really need to try and get past your feelings for him. It's good that he wants to be in your son's life. Unfortunatley, the situation you are in sucks and he and his wife are together. I do most certainly think that you have the right to know where he lives and what his number is. You need to know where your son is at all times and how to contact him in case of an emergency. This would be mandatory if you went through the court. Just be friendly with him. Things are awkward now, but eventually it will get better. I have been there. Again, you just have to get past your feelings and realize that if it wasn't for your son you would have nothing to do with him. It's okay to have feelings for him. He is the father of your baby, but he is married and that's it.
RecordProducer Posted May 1, 2005 Posted May 1, 2005 I am mother of two and I say you ABSOLUTELY need to know where your son spends a whole day. It's outrageous that he gave you a wrong number. I can't believe his wife wants to stay with him after he cheated on her and has a child with another woman. The three of you should be together, if you ask me. But your MM doesn't feel like leaving his wife obviously. Is he very wealthy or anything? What about her? Do they have children? How long have they been married? Sorry for asking this, but what on earth made you have his baby? Did you think he'd leave his wife if you put him in a corner? I feel for you. It must be very hard for you indeed.
Author Sad Flower Posted May 3, 2005 Author Posted May 3, 2005 MM isn't wealthy at all....they were married less than two years when he left her, he does have a son with his wife which he claims is a big reason why he went back but i think his game was just done so he went back to the old battle ax I can't believe she took him back either but supposedly they have turned religious and are trying.... I dont regret my son. I loved MM very much and we had a small history years ago so he meant alot to me and it was hard to let go of part of him inside me I got caught up! Yeah he is being very shady with me and i dont know why, like he also lied to me and said he lived w/ his family at his dads house but i later found out it was a lie, i confronted him about it but he tried to run in circles with fessing up and then he gave me his real adress but he never asks me to meet him where he lives when its time to pick up my son, he just tells me to meet him @ his dads house (where he doesnt live) It is definately hard like i went to pick up my son from him the other day and i seen MM's wife holding my son
forms Posted May 5, 2005 Posted May 5, 2005 Originally posted by Sad Flower It is definately hard like i went to pick up my son from him the other day and i seen MM's wife holding my son That would be hard. Get a child support order and a custody order. Your child is entitled to the money from his father, and even if you don't need the money right now, you will one day. At the very least you can save it for him for college. Don't deny your child his rights to support because of your feelings for his father. Also get a custody order. Believe it or not, if your MM refused to return the baby after a visit, you don't have a legal leg to stand on. At this point, he with his paternity test results have EXACTLY the same rights as you do--including the right to take him out of state, etc... So get the custody order. It doesn't happen very often, but occasionally in your situation, wives feeling, "She took my husband, I'll take her baby". You need to protect yourself.
RecordProducer Posted May 11, 2005 Posted May 11, 2005 Poor girl, Sad Flower! I guess it's good that his wife has accepted your son. You'll get over him and you'll feel sick of him soon enough. Trust me!
Recommended Posts